Last night at about quarter to 11:00 I decided it was time to go to bed. At that very moment, I noticed my eyes were off. I was just starting to have the first symptom of a migraine. It wasn’t bad, but it was there. I turned off the lights, buried my head in the pillow, squeezed my eyes shut, and within five minutes was asleep.
When I woke up I had a mild headache, but nothing too bad. I got up (after hitting snooze six times) and got dressed and started my day. I added some Extra Strength Tylenol to my morning vitamins for what remained of the headache and went down cellar to do my day’s exercise.
That’s when things went bad. What happened, you ask? I put on last night’s episode of Fear the Walking Dead. What else could cause such a disaster?
Spoilers ahead, but it’s probably okay because you’re not dumb enough to watch this idiotic show, are you? I’m the only one left watching, I am positive of that.
Anyway, you’ve been warned… spoilers for what passes as a plot for season nine episode five… I think.
I always bitch about how the plot for this show is constantly driven by people talking on magic walkie talkies that have unlimited range, unlimited battery life, and there is only one channel available so everyone in the former United States of America can hear every word, yet they still constantly give away all of their plans and positions while knowing the baddies are listening in. It’s the dumbest plot device imaginable.
Anyway, this episode kicked it up a very large notch. I have to believe that the writers and show runners wrote this episode to troll us. You see, the entire episode was people sitting around talking on walkie talkies. Seriously, pretty much the entire episode was just people talking on walkie talkies. There was one other plot device in play. Yeah, it was the seven year old kid making all of the decisions. The seven year old kid traveled all over Georgia with a dying adult who was going to turn into a zombie at any moment and everyone was okay with that. The seven year old kid performed radiation therapy on a patient. The seven year old kid was able to run a railroad hand cart without help. As if those things do not require any strength at all to operate. The seven year old kid decided where to go and what to do. All of which was done over a walkie talkie, of course.
Fuck this show
The worst part is that much of Reddit is on blackout today to protest the company charging enormous fees to access their API, thus putting a number of third party apps out of business, and r/fearthewalkingdead is down so I can’t bitch to like minded masochists.
This sucks.