Lawn Pause

Front yard: Done.

Side yard: Done, from the street all the way back to the woods.

Health check: OUCH! My back hurts, my leg hurts, my arms hurt, my shoulders hurt. Yup, it’s lawn day. I’m taking a break for a few. Usually my lawn breaks are on the patio in the back yard, but everything out there is soaking wet and the sun hasn’t had any luck drying it off, so I am inside.

Okay, break time is over. Get back out there and cut some more grass, fat boy! You can do it! Through all of this mowing the lawn your Apple Watch activity app has given you credit for 16 minutes of exercise! Go cut that grass and close that ring!

Umbrella Problems

Twice now I have had trouble opening up the patio umbrella. The boom arm thingie won’t slide into place correctly. Last time I was able to do it but today it didn’t quite open all the way.

Shit.

I was able to refill the line in the weed wacker, but it doesn’t quite auto-fill as it’s running. I can work around that, but still…

Shit.

The grass is 10 feet tall. Today is the only day I have to cut it. It looks like it poured rain last night and it’s starting to rain again.

Shit.

Some New Form of Torture

Lo, the lawn hast grown to a length that is untenable. Nature decrees that I spark up ye olde mower and trim the lawn to a length more pleasing to thine neighbor’s eyes. But alas, I am old and tired and really quite fat. Such a lawn task requires a level of energy that is far above that which my tubbalard body doth possess. Tis beyond me! But I must make a concerted attempt to tackle the lawn care task that the fates in their wisdom have placed before me. If only the damned birds would start visiting the new bird feeder and the accursed squirrels would screw off and die in the woods, for those events might inspire me to attack the lawn with a vengeance ne’er expected.

(At this point you may be wondering what the “new form of torture” in the title of the post is referring to. Well, it’s a double meaning. Mowing the lawn is my torture, and the ridiculously lame language in the paragraph above is your torture. Get it? HA HA. Funny, eh? No. You’re right. It’s not even close to funny. Sorry about that.)

Thank You, Rain

I would like to extend my warmest thanks to the rain that was supposed to come to us this morning.  Why?  Because it didn’t come.  I was able to finish mowing the lawn.  Oh happy, happy day!

Until like a week from now when it needs to be mowed again.

21st century home owner problems, ya know?  Really!

Busy Weekend

We have two games at the same time today.  We have a house that needs to be cleaned from top to bottom.  We have a lawn mower that still won’t start damn it!  We have two more baseball/softball things tomorrow at roughly the same time.  We have a 12 year old’s birthday party tomorrow afternoon.

There is so much to do!!!!