I’ve got the COVID/coup blues tonight. I’m not sure what set it off, apart from the obvious, but I’m just feeling more depressed than usual.

Normally when I feel like this I play guitar and I feel better. It didn’t work tonight. I think I feel worse.

Removing Cheeto McClownshoes might help. A vaccine might help too.

I really hate COVID. I really hate trump.

Screw you guys, I’m going to bed. G’night everyone. Better day tomorrow.

CPAP Cleaner

I got a machine to sanitize the moving parts of my CPAP machine. It’s cool. It nukes the crap out of stuff with UV light for five minutes and then poof, disinfected. I’m still going to need to wash the dried up drool out of the mask though. Grody to the Max, man*.

*My spoiler free review of Wonder Woman 84 is as follows: I am so glad the 80’s are over and I have zero nostalgia for that time. None. Nil. Zip. Nada.

A Thanksgivmas Miracle

I kinda can’t believe it. After a full blown Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday, a weekend and a Monday full of Christmas cookies, and turkey dinner leftovers like you wouldn’t believe last night….

I lost half a pound this week.

It’s a Thanksgivmas Miracle.

I’ll probably gain five pounds celebrating this moral victory, but for right now it’s totally worth it.

The Day After

I don’t know what I did, but my legs are freakin’ killing me today. I have a little bit of snow to clear, and lots of laundry, another day’s exercise, and some board games. I still have a few songs to finish from the great re-recording thing and I haven’t done diddly for December music.

Mostly I just want to hang out with the kids, but the college student is prepping for finals so she’s busy. That’s okay. She’s going to ace them all.

There’s a good chance I am going to fail on my intermittent fasting today. I don’t think I can make it to 1:00 PM. It’ll only be the second time I don’t make it to 16 hours in the last 88 days, but it’ll be close enough for faux Thanksgiving weekend.


Cautious Optimism

The United Kingdom has approved one of the Covid-19 vaccines (Pfizer’s? I think?). They are starting to work on actual distribution.

There is suddenly a very tiny pin prick of light at the end of this long, black coronavirus tunnel.

The United States isn’t there yet. I’m not sure what the FDA’s timeline is, or even if they have a timeline yet. I’m not sure what Pfizer and Moderna need to do to proceed. I’ve heard that first responders and elderly folks in homes will be the first Americans to receive the vaccine. I’m good with that. After that, I don’t know what the rumors are. I hope my step son and his immune deficiencies will be near the front of the line. My weight problem puts me at risk too, but I want him taken care of first.

It’s still going to take months for that tiny pin prick of light to grow into an opening big enough for us to walk through, and it is WAY too early to start making plans. Still, we have a high school graduation in the Spring. We are hoping to go back to Disney World in the Summer.

I’m spending my lunch break today listening to a podcast where two part time musicians are fantasizing about getting their bands back together in the Spring and what that’s going to be like. I don’t want to look that far ahead. I don’t want to get optimistic. I don’t want to start fantasizing. But… that first band practice is going to feel like a victory parade. We’re going to play like garbage and it’s going to be the most enjoyable rehearsal in the history of rehearsals. The first gig… when we can fill up a room with friends and family and music lovers and people from all walks of life… that is going to be a celebration like no other. That is going to be an amazing experience. I mean, yeah we’re just a silly cover band, but it’s going to be a wonderful thing.

Don’t get cocky, Robert. Cautious optimism is all you get for now. Maybe stop thinking about that tiny little point of light at the end of the tunnel. Try, at least.


We ate dinner tonight at around 7:00 PM. Jen worked while she ate so I sat with her in the office. As I ate the chicken and the quinoa I watched an episode of The Flash (Grod!) and messed with iCloud settings for GarageBand. We recently switched from individual iCloud accounts to a big giant family sized account and for some reason GarageBand was still looking to my individual while the stuff I uploaded today was in the family. I rebooted and it fixed things (have you tried turning it off and on again?). After that I started mixing the song I shared here a few minutes ago.

At about 8:30 I thought I should probably have a snack. My daily intermittent fast starts at 9:00 and the thought of having the usual 9pm to 1pm fast become 7pm to 1pm seemed like something to avoid.

Five seconds later my watched buzzed. It was 9:00 and time to start tonight’s fast.

I never stopped for the snack.


I Forgot

I was up late last night because I’m dumb. It was coming up on 1:00 AM before I finally conked out.

I woke up about an hour and a half later and realized I wasn’t wearing my CPAP mask. Where the hell was it?

I forgot to put it on when I lay down for the night/morning. I’ve been doing this for a year and a half now, how the hell can I still be forgetting it after all this time? How is that possible? They say when you do something repeatedly for… is it three weeks or three months… it becomes routine. After 17 months, this should be pretty routine.

Didn’t Think of That

Intermittent Fasting and Daylight Savings don’t play nicely together. I just got a notification from the Zero app telling me that I hit my 16 hour goal. How is that possible? It’s not 1:00, it’s only noon.

Oh yeah. There’s an extra hour today. Daylight Savings time starting in the Spring is going to make it worse. My 16 hour fast won’t end until 2:00 on that day! Crap!

Complete change of subject:

Yesterday I brought a bag of trash outside to the barrels and there was a deer in the trees about 10 feet from me. We scared the crap out of each other. She ran off about 20 yards away and then stood there watching me. I stayed too and had a little chat. I tried the trick you do with cats where you close your eyes to show that you trust them. When I opened them again she looked away. Did it work? I managed a picture. It was awesome.

Amazingly, almost exactly the same thing happened today! I went to the trash barrels and there was a stirring in the trees just a few feet away from me. This time the deer was calmly walking away. I caught a good look. It was a buck with antlers! I think there were three points… assuming I know what I’m talking about, which I honestly don’t. He didn’t stay to chat, which was sad. He strolled up a little hill just inside the tree line and vanished.

November 1st

As I was turning to head back to the house I saw a doe too. She’s probably in this picture at the far right. They camouflage so well, the little furry bastards.

I want to be friends with them. We can’t have people over anymore, so maybe the deer could keep coming for visits? That would be nice.

Don’t Start This Crap

I told myself I wasn’t going to do this but here we are. No one wants to read about my weight. Sure, there’s more than enough of it to go around but no one cares but me so don’t go posting shit about your weight, Robert. No one cares.

Today was my eighth weigh in since I started intermittent fasting and I hit the 20 pound mark. Now I just need to mind the words of the great Han Solo who once said, “great kid. Don’t get cocky.” I still have about 500 pounds to go. 20 pounds isn’t anything special in the grand scheme of things.

Still… feels pretty good.