Woke up to this scene in the backyard:
Musta been a big critter. Is a deer big enough to do that? Probably. My first thought, and Jen’s first thought too, was a bear… I don’t think we have bears around here. I’m 99.999% sure we don’t. Still… a bear would be big enough. I’m probably overreacting to the size requirements though. I bet it was a fox or a coyote. Maybe a deer. Who knows.
I just know I need a new bird feeder post now. Oh well. To amazon.com we go.
Well that was fun.
I logged into a video conference call at 10:00am. At 10:02am a mouse tried to climb the floor lamp next to my desk. It almost got to the top before falling off. It was equal parts startling and freakin’ adorable.
A mouse. I mean, it is that time of year, right? The weather is getting colder and the critters are looking for warmth. I get it. It’s not surprising.
This mouse was either an arrogant asshole, or supremely stupid. Why? Because when I first saw it I made some noise and moved around. I was on video in a meeting so I couldn’t get up and chase it. I made my very large presence known and that should have scared it off, right? Nope. The little shit hung around. It tried going up the light a few times, and it was running in and out of the pile of stuff in the corner next to the desk, and it came strolling out from under my desk a couple of times. It didn’t get the hint.
When my string of three consecutive video meetings ended I got up and kicked some stuff and made a lot of noise. I had a minute or two where I thought I was in the clear. Then I heard it behind me. It was standing next to my amplifier. Yeah, my Fender ’65 Deluxe Reverb Reissue that costs over a grand. It was curled up next to the power cable. Oh no, you little shit. I got up and it ran. It went under my desk and hid behind my little foot rest. I kicked it… hard. It dashed to the other side of the room. I went after it. Eventually I lost it in the closet. I hoped that would be the end, but somehow knew it would be dumb enough to come back.
I logged onto Lowes’ website and started shopping for mouse traps. I was thinking of capture traps because I don’t want open traps that Patches the Wonder Cat could accidently trip and mangle herself on. That’s when I heard it again. It was next to the amplifier again. I got up, walked over, and kicked it. It smooshed between my foot and the wall.
The end.
Fucking mouse.
We left our Christmas lights from last year hung up along the edge of the roof. A few weeks ago I noticed a spot near the end of the string where it was broken. Crap. I guess we have to replace them this year.
That’s where things started getting weird. The lights were wrapped around the railings next to the stairs leading up to our two front doors. Strangely, the wires have been broken all over the railings and all of the bulbs are gone. What the hell?
Now there are 3-4 places along the edge of the roof where the strand has been broken, and again many of the bulbs are gone.
Over the last week or so I have started seeing bulbs in random places in the yard. Once I saw three of them in the back yard next to the house. For reference, we didn’t hang any lights on the back of the house. Today if you were to look in the same spot, all three bulbs are gone.
There is, however, a bulb on the fire pit, and other bulbs in random places in the back or on the sides of the house, nowhere near where the lights were hung.
So there are two questions to ask. First, which critters are chewing the lights off of our house, and two, if I put up new lights are the same critters going to chew through those as well?
Look who we found in the backyard this morning, picking through the leftover birdseed spillage.
Is this the asshole who took down the bird feeders and ruined the fun for everyone? He definitely has a guilty look about him.
Look at that cocky asshole, sticking his tongue out at me!
I took these pictures through the bedroom window. When I tried opening the window to get a better shot he ran into the woods. The jerk.
Inside the Red Head's Head 