Given the frequency with which I post pictures of cats, the expectation here may be that I am going to compare myself to a cat. That comparison works in some respects but not others. Cats sleep all day. They are often considered to be lazy. Well, domesticated cats are at least. Those are qualities that I feel are accurate descriptions of me. Unfortunately, cats are also known to be ass kicking hunters who are always down with killing everything around them. They are very much pro-slaughter. Those are not accurate descriptions of me. I’m a peaceful guy. Maybe even a pacifist (unless we’re dealing with Yankees fans… or fascists).
So no, cats are not animals that I would compare myself to. Sorry. I asked Google Bard, or whatever it’s called now, to give me a list of animals that might work.
Here is what I asked, “give me a short list of animals that are known to be slow and lazy and are easy prey for predators.” (note, the response is slightly edited as it included images and some links which I have removed)
Here are some animals that are known to be slow and lazy, making them easy targets for predators:
- Sloths: These masters of hanging around are incredibly slow-moving due to their low metabolic rate. This means they spend most of their day sleeping or hanging motionless in trees, making them easy pickings for jaguarandi, harpy eagles, and even some snakes.
- Pangolins: These unique mammals are covered in tough scales, but they’re also slow-moving and have poor eyesight. When threatened, they roll up into a ball, which can protect them from some predators but not from determined ones like tigers and hyenas.
- Armadillos: While some armadillos can burrow quickly, they’re generally slow-moving herbivores. Their main defense is their bony armor, but jaguars, cougars, and large snakes can still break through it to get to the animal inside.
- Koalas: Koala spend most of their days snoozing in eucalyptus trees. This slow lifestyle makes them vulnerable to predators like dingoes and pythons.
It’s important to note that being slow or inactive doesn’t necessarily mean an animal is defenseless. These animals have evolved other strategies to survive, such as camouflage, venomous bites, or prickly defenses.
https://gemini.google.com/app/855452ea7906df52
Those are all good. Well, Koalas are super cute so they don’t work. Armadillos and pangolins… I think their defenses are too good to relate to me. That leaves sloths. Full disclosure, I was planning on using sloths for this post even before I went to the Google for advice.
Sloths! That’s the animal I compare myself too. Slow… lazy… all they do is eat and sleep and hang around… kinda painful to look at…
Yeah, that’s me. Call me Robbie the Sloth. Best animal comparison ever.
Inside the Red Head's Head 