Category: health

Checking In

I’ve been at the hospice facility for almost six hours now. My father has been asleep almost the entire time. His breathing is a little shallow and every now and then it sounds a little labored but for the most part he is consistent.

I don’t know what any of that means. I don’t know how long this is going to go on. I do know that they are telling us he will not be getting better and will only get worse.

I also know that my heart is breaking and that it’s only been a year and a half since we went through something very similar with my mother and I haven’t quite gotten over that experience yet and now here we are in the exact same room doing it all again.

I just don’t want him to be in pain. I don’t want him to suffer. I also don’t want him to go. I guess I am just a selfish son. Something along those lines at least.

I do have to work the next three days, though I should be able to swing a half day the day after tomorrow. My visit times will be limited until the weekend.

All in all I would much rather be visiting him at his apartment and watching a few innings worth of a Red Sox game. I would much rather that.

Cosmic Coincidence

My father was moved to a hospice facility last night. It’s the same facility my mother went to in February 2023.

That’s not the cosmic coincidence the title of this post refers to.

He is in the same room. He’s in the same bed.

At first I was completely freaked out by this. Now, after stewing over it for about 12 hours or so, I’m beginning to see the romance behind it. He’s not aware of it, but if he were he’d probably be delighted by it. I’m going to try to choose to feel the same.

362/365

Hospice

I’m still not sharing any details, but my father is moving from the hospital to a hospice tonight and it’s awful and heartbreaking.

I’m so sad but I’m trying to put on a brave face for everyone else. As things progress I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep up the facade, as it were.

Things are Getting Bad

Things are starting to get really bad around here. I don’t think my Irish American stereotype heart is going to be able to bottle all this up for much longer.

Do Something

I fear bad news today and I am stressing out like crazy. Calm down. Focus. It’s going to be okay.

I played a little guitar this morning. It helped a little. I lost track of time though and had to rush to get myself ready for work. Oops.

I have a ton of stuff to get done today at work. I can do it. I can focus. I can handle this stuff.

And right on queue I get pulled into a potentially major issue. Oh good.

357/365
357/365

Long Day

Don’t you hate it when you read someone’s blog (or any social media) post where they talk cryptically about something but don’t give any specifics on what they are talking about and go out of their way to not share any details at all?

It was a long day. I left the house at a little past 11:00am and went to the hospital to stay with my father. I left at 7:00pm. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. There may be a family discussion tomorrow and if there is it may be rough. That’s all the detail you’re getting.

I am home with the love of my life now. My bride and our two psychotic cats. I am where I belong, even if I feel the need to spend time just sitting with my father during his time of trouble.

To quote the band Traffic from a song from their brilliant self titled second album, “who knows what tomorrow may bring?”

Day Game

The Red Sox and the Astros are playing a day game today. The Sox are up 3-1 in the eighth inning. I’m just watching the game with my dad.

It would be better if we weren’t in a hospital room, but I’ll take what I can get.