School

I am starting to get really pissed off.

I have been in three or four discussions today on the topic of kids going back to school during the pandemic.

One started with a parent at a town meeting saying that her kid going back to school in person was worth the risk of two kids dying. It’s only two dead kids, she said.

Another started with, police and fire departments need to go back to work so teachers should go back too.

I just can’t believe that actual human people made these arguments in all seriousness. I mean, it’s only two dead kids, right? What’s the worry? It is infuriating! Fire departments go to work so teachers should too? Do teachers take the job with the understanding that it might cost their lives? I’m not a fire fighter, but I’m pretty sure they do. Likewise, I’m not a teacher but I’m going to take a wild guess that the answer is an emphatic and total NO! No they don’t! If you think a teacher should risk his or her life for their profession then FUCKING PAY THEM FOR IT. Again, I’m not a teacher but I am willing to bet that teachers don’t get hazard pay.

It’s only two dead kids, she said. Well ma’am, what if one of the two dead kids is yours? Is it worth the risk then? You fucking moron? Is it worth it if your kid dies, or is it only worth it if some other mothers’ kids die?

Have we as a people always been this evil? How could so many of us not have noticed?


Oh… and I won’t use that over sized first letter thing again, okay?

Dad’s Home

Dad’s home from the hospital. It’s kidney stones and major dehydration. It took a while to handle hydrating him. It’s okay now. I stayed overnight Saturday into Sunday so that my mother wouldn’t be alone. My sister took last night. My brother is there now, but everyone is home and this ordeal is over, we hope.

I am pleased-ish to announce that I can still pull an all nighter like a boss. I woke up at about 6:00am or so on Saturday. The next time I slept was about 4:30am on Sunday morning, but I woke up again at about 5:15am. At noon, I sat down to watch the Bruins game while my mother napped. I saw the start of the Canadian National Anthem. Next thing I knew, Oshe was picking Chara’s pocket and scoring with six seconds left in the first. I was out for another 40-50 minutes, I think. Later, as we were getting ready for a shift change, I packed up all my stuff and sat down at the dining room table. Next thing I knew, Dad was coming in the door. I have no idea how long I was out, but it couldn’t have been more than 15-30 minutes. After I got home, I stayed up for a little while. I gave up the fight at a little past 8:30pm. That’s 38 hours, with only a couple of very short, less than an hour each, naps.

Like a boss.

I woke up for a few minutes around 10:00pm, then again for a few minutes at about 3:45am, and then again for good a little after 7:00am. I checked SleepWatch on Sunday and there was never enough data available to track. This morning, it tracked nine hours and 45 minutes of sleep. I needed it. I’m still a little sleepy, and my head isn’t quite straight. I think it’ll be another early to bed night tonight and then I should be okay.

Like a boss.

Back to School?

This just popped up in my iPhone’s news widget. We’ve spent a lot of time over the last few days stressing over back to school. The entire discussion is insulting. If the pandemic was bad enough to shut down schools in March, how is it not bad enough to stop a re-open in August? It’s absurd. The situation would need to be better now than it was in March and it is most definitely not better. It is worse. So very much worse. FIVE MILLION infections worse.

To quote the great Will Ferrell in Zoolander, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

Dad’s Turn

Dad went into the hospital last night at around 11:30 or so. It’s kidney stones. It’s just about noon now and he’s still there. They aren’t going to release him until he urinates without catheterized assistance. Yikes.

I got to their house as he was leaving. I’m just supposed to be here in case my mother needs help. I’m social distancing like a mutha for my mother. I’ve used more hand sanitizer in the last 14 hours than in the previous 49 years combined.

I fell asleep at about 4:30am. I woke up at about 5:15am. Yeah. Like… yeah.

I Solemnly Swear

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good… at my parents house at 1:37am.

It’s dad this time. Back pain. Bad enough to go to the ER. The going theory is kidney stones. I’m hanging out with my mother. I’m in the dining room pretending to write song lyrics. She’s in the living room watching reruns of Married with Children. It’s going on 2:00am and she’s wide awake.

Is This a Bad Idea?

I was up really late last night. I had a load of laundry running and I didn’t want to fall asleep until it was done. I was also watching an episode of The Watchman and I wasn’t paying attention to the clock when I started it. It finished about 25 minutes after the laundry. Dumbass. Turns out I didn’t get to sleep until about 12:15am. My sleep numbers were pretty good* but there just wasn’t enough of it.

Seemingly unrelated, King Crimson guitarist/band leader Robert Fripp not only helped to invent what we now call Progressive Rock (with the first King Crimson Album, In the Court of the Crimson King in 1969, the point of it being the first prog record is arguable, but the arguments in favor are pretty good. For me, I tend to look at The Beatles Abby Road which came out a few weeks earlier), but he also helped to invent what we now call ambient music as well (with the 1973 release of No Pussyfooting in a collaboration with Brian Eno, under the name Fripp and Eno). He came up with a technique of using a couple of reel to reel tape decks to make loops of sound. He eventually developed a whole electronic style of playing, which he dubbed Frippertronics because he sounds like he’s one of those guys who likes giving funky names to stuff (I don’t know if that’s true or not, it just kinda seems that way. No offense meant, Robert). These days he uses a guitar synthesizer rig and some samplers to do his thing (and recently it’s been really making me want to dabble in synth pedals and loopers).

One unique (I think) aspect of a King Crimson show is that at some point before the people start showing up, Fripp will record a few minutes worth of an improvised ambient piece of music and they will play that through the sound system before the show starts. I think they loop it so it can start playing around the time the doors open, and end when the band takes the stage. Musically speaking they’re not really… ya know… musical. There isn’t a melody, and there really isn’t a harmonic structure to speak of. They are just meant to be background sounds.

So Crimson has been touring for years and years, and every show has it’s own original ambient piece. There must be a mountain of these suckers stored up somewhere. In the spirit of the Covid-19 lock downs being an existential kick in the nuts, Mr Fripp has been releasing one of these ambient pieces each week. Every Friday he puts one out via all the streaming services under the title Music for Quiet Moments. Music for Quiet Moments 15 came out today.

Why am I talking about this?

Because I have a playlist with all 15 pieces and it’s playing through the Sonos speaker in my bedroom/office right now, and as alluded to in paragraph #1, I’m pretty sleepy today.

Is it a mistake to combine these two seemingly unrelated things? Being sleepy and ambient music?

Ummmm… maybe I should switch to something noisier.

*My SleepWatch numbers for the past couple of weeks have included a string of heart rate dip values that were literally unbelievable. I did eight straight days above 20%, then one in the teens, and then six more above 20%. I’ve never had a run like that in the year-plus I’ve been paying attention. Granted, the last two nights have only been 13% each. A month ago I would have been very pleased with that. Now? It’s a let down.

Pretty Good Mom News, for a Change

It’s been a week and three days since the awful hospital experience started. Over the last couple of days there have been definite signs of improvement.

My brother and sister have been taking turns staying at my parents’ house each night just in case something happened.

Today, my mother and my father both agreed that they don’t really need anyone to stay over tonight. Oh, what a huge relief. We’ll still keep our phones on just in case they need us in the night, but this is a huge change for the better.

I’m really happy.

Regular PT

My mother had a physical therapy appointment today and an occupational therapy appointment. It was the first of each. They both made some suggestions on things we could do to make things easier on her. Good. More important, the PT is going to come by twice a week. We won’t know which days until the last minute, which seems odd, but it’s happening. There’s no way that can’t help.

They are going to work on some of her pain spots, back and legs. Her hip was diagnosed as bursitis while she was in the hospital. She’s supposed to be getting some treatment for that too, but we don’t have an appointment yet.

Oh, and did I mention that today is my parents’ 53 wedding anniversary?

Progress. Still about a million miles to go though. Keep your fingers crossed.

Another Day

My mother was pretty bad during the evening last night. Once she was able to sleep she managed to sleep through the night. Today she might be a little better, but still not good. My sister was there over night. My brother will swap places with her later today.

She has a couple of physical therapy things today and she has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. We’re trying to keep a list of all the questions we have for the medical staff so that we don’t forget anything. They all can be summed up by, “please help.”

Here’s hoping for a better day today.

A Little Taste

My sister and brother have been spending as much time as possible with my mother over the last seven days. They have experienced the full force of her behavioral changes directly. Due to quarantining, I have not been there. I’ve only been able to pitch in with a little bit of housework at my parents house while everyone else was at the hospital.

I got a tiny taste of it today. My father called me. He said my mother wanted to talk to me and he asked me if I remembered the Boy Scout Motto. I did… Be Prepared.

She said she wanted to see me but understood why I couldn’t come over. I was very thankful for that. She also said she didn’t know what was wrong with her. I said we were working to figure it out and the medication would help. She was on the verge of tears the whole time.

Yeah, that sucked. Hard. My thanks and appreciation toward my brother and sister cannot be overstated. They are dealing with it all. My father too. He’s been dealing with everything for years.

I feel so useless. It’s necessary, but still… damn it.