Category: Baseball

Tom Terrific

Of all of the unbelievably talented pitchers who came through in the 60’s and 70’s, Tom Seaver may not have been the best… though he very well may have been the best… but he was my favorite.

Tom Seaver died yesterday. His stay with the Red Sox was very short, but not so short that I don’t have a second hand story. I’ve probably shared this before but, here it goes again…

It’s not actually my story, it’s my brother’s story and I’m just a tiny part of it.

During the 1986 season, Tewksbury Little League had a fund raiser where they sold tickets to a Red Sox game. It was a promotion the Sox made available, but our town broke the system. We sold so many tickets that the Red Sox changed the format and made a lot fewer tickets available in future seasons. For that season though, Tewksbury baseball sold a shit load of tickets, and my little brother sold more than anyone.

The prize for the kid who sold the most tickets was an opportunity to sit in the Red Sox dugout before a game, and if that isn’t the greatest fund raiser prize ever dreamed of then it should be because oh my god that was an awesome prize. John won. If I remember correctly, he won by far. No one was close. It’s been 34 years and my memory could be totally wrong, but I think John won by a mile.

The day came, and Fenway Park was overflowing with Tewksbury people. Before the game, during warm ups, John was given a seat in the dugout, and my little nine year old brother was as happy as a pig in shit. He got autographs from everyone. He actually spent a few minutes hanging out with Johnny Pesky. Can you believe it?

Before the game I had given John my 1986 Topps Tom Seaver baseball card. Tom was wearing a White Sox uniform on the card, but it was the current season’s card. I asked John that if he saw Tom Seaver, could he ask him to sign the card?

Did Tom Seaver sign the card? Well, you bet your sweet asses he did! That’s not the biggest take away from this story though. While John was in the dugout… Tom Seaver… Tom Terrific… the greatest player in New York Mets history… the guy who was likely, unofficially, brought to Boston in order to teach Roger Clemens how to be the best pitcher in the game… Spit on My Brother.

OH… MY… GOD!!! Tom Seaver spit on my brother!

It was TOTALLY AN ACCIDENT, of course. Tom had the reputation of being a total gentleman, and he was. He was chewing tobacco, or something similar, and he spit out some juice and my brother was accidentally in the line of spit-fire and he got hit by a little of it. Tom apologized and I think helped him wipe it up.

Tom Seaver… 300 career wins (311)… 3,000 career strikeouts (3,640)… a career ERA under 3.00 (2.86). Also, let’s not forget that he was the driving force of the Miracle Mets in 1969. That might be the biggest achievement of them all.

Rest in Peace, Tom Seaver. Still my favorite pitcher.

Note: I added a link to the site I stole the picture from, but I haven’t read that article. I did read this article and it’s perfect.

Sports on Strike

I was proud of the NBA yesterday for striking over idiotic racial inequality. When the news broke I looked at the calendar and saw a Bruins game and a Red Sox game.

The NHL is operating entirely in Canada so it didn’t surprise me that none of the teams joined in. A few Major League Baseball teams participated, but the Red Sox? Historically speaking, the most racist franchise in the multiverse? I was optimistic or a minute or two, but deep down I knew they were going to play.

Today the Red Sox and the Bruins both joined in. A day late and a dollar short maybe, but I’m still glad they are a part of this. I’m glad they are doing the right thing… finally.

How Did Barry Bonds Do It?

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All those years of taking steroids… the clear and the cream and all that shit… how did Barry Bonds do it?

I’ve been putting a steroid cream on my poison ivy rash for six days now and my arm is all swollen and sore. My upper arm is so swollen it actually hurts a little. If Bonds was using crap like this for years, he must have been as swollen as… well… he must have been as swollen and gross as he actually looked. Lets all think back to the middle of the aughts decade and remember how bloated and cartoony Bonds looked. In just six days I’m already feeling a smidge like that.

How did that steroid using, cheater freak do it?

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So on the Juice

My major league baseball debut has to be imminent. On day three of juicing like a gym rat, my right arm is pretty huge. Of course it’s actually just swollen a little and my skin is so screwed up it feels like it’s pulled tight. Poison Ivy, you know? There are a couple of spots where the rash is actually leaking a little. How gross is that? Whatever, I am huge like Barry Bonds now. Get ready for some seriously long home runs. That garage across the street from Fenway Park is in big trouble.

The Red Sox are playing right now. When the radio broadcast came back from commercials for the bottom of the third inning, the bumper music was Rush – 2112. Sure, we’re losing 2-0 in the third, but Rush will pull us out of it. Sure it’s probably going to be our 10th consecutive loss, but we’ve got Rush.

As I was tying the words, “losing 2-0”, Rafael Devers hit a two run home run to tie the game. Okay. Someone is listening to me. Sure, I’m not going to hit a 500 million dollar lottery…..

……..

………

Nothing?

Oh well. four hours and 45 minutes until I can juice again.

Off Day

But…but…but…

How can the Red Sox have a day off when the season started three months late?

I get it… work place… they are only people too and they deserve a day off now and then…

I was just hoping for a Red Sox game tonight. Also, the Bruins are off until Wednesday.

I am sad. Sports sad.

Miami Marlins

What passes for the Major League Baseball season this year opened on Thursday. Four days ago.

Today the Miami Marlins had to cancel their next game because 14 of their players and coaches have tested positive for COVID-19.

14.

Forteen.

Now I knew the chances of making it through a 60 game season and a 16 team playoff were pretty much nil, but I really thought it would take a couple of weeks before the system started to collapse. I thought it would last for more than four days.

Happy Red Sox Opening Day

It’s here! It’s only a few months late and the chances of them successfully completing this shortened season are slim and none, but it’s finally here.

Opening day for my beloved Boston Red Sox!

Sure, Mookie is a Dodger now (he had a hit in his game last night) and we have less than no pitching (our original opening night starter has COVID-19) and we are going to suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu….

…uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk….

But it’s really, truly opening day.

Enjoy it while it lasts, Red Sox Nation! I sure will!

328/365 - Happy Red Sox opening day.

Baseball…Really

The Yankees and Nationals started a game tonight. It’s currently delayed. I don’t know if it’s rain or coronavirus.

The Dodgers and the Giants started about half an hour ago.

Major League Baseball is back. Who knows for how long? I don’t care, it’s back.