Daily writing prompt

What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

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Right then, I have to make this quick. Today is my work from the office day and I have an actual morning commute ahead of me.

The hardest personal goal I’ve set for myself has to be losing weight. I had to take some brutally extreme measures to achieve it, but I got there… for now at least.

My whole life I’ve been overweight. I believe morbidly obese is the correct term. I was always able to lose some weight but I was never able to keep it off. You know, the way it is with almost everyone. I would lose 20 pounds over the course of a few months and then gain 30. I would lose 40 and gain 60. Lose 30 and gain 60. By the time I got to my mid-40’s, weighing 400 pounds was almost normal. I was so out of shape that simple tasks were becoming difficult. Walking up a flight of stairs would leave me out of breath and in pain. My back and my legs hurt all the time from carrying myself around. Once the pandemic hit the yo-yo weight loss went out of control. Suddenly weighing 450 pounds was becoming normal and I literally felt like I was going to die on most days.

At some point along the way I had talked to my doctor about weight loss surgery. I went to an information session at a clinic in Chelmsford, MA and it scared the holy hell out of me. The surgery itself was terrifying, but the work needed to be done afterwards to stay healthy was worse. It was so intimidating. I would have to watch every bite of food I ever eat for the rest of my life. I would have to monitor my intake of liquids and proteins forever and I would never be able to eat sugar again. Also, eating too fast or not chewing thoroughly enough could make me feel really sick for short periods of time. It all just felt like too much.

Then the pandemic happened. My father had a heart attack and my mother’s dementia was advanced beyond the point where we could take care of her. Suddenly mortality was very close by and very real. Suddenly my weight and my health as they were became much more terrifying than the weight loss surgery process. I went back to my doctor and then went back to the same clinic and five months later I went under the knife for gastric bypass surgery. I literally had a doctor butcher my digestive system.

It worked. I lost almost 250 pounds over about a year and a half and so far I have been able to maintain that loss. The work required to stay healthy is immense and it has been very difficult at times, but I feel like a different person and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. In the past I would have considered surgery as taking the easy way out. Now that I know how difficult the post-surgery world is, I no longer think it’s a shortcut or cheating. It’s a different sort of challenge than just dieting, but it’s still a difficult challenge.

Now all I have to do is stay on the right path for the rest of my life and I hopefully will maintain the achievement of my weight loss goal. Fingers crossed, right?