Author: robertjames1971

I'm wicked tall.

Froggie

I wrote about the karmic retribution I witnessed on the morning commute today, but I have yet to write about the other thing that happened during my drive to work.

I’ve yet to write about the frog.

On two past occasions, we have somehow found a tiny little frog hanging out in our house. Once our former cat, the late great Miss Patches, cornered a frog in the living room. Years later our current pair o’ kitties cornered a frog in the hallway between the living room and the bedrooms.

A little research lead me to believe that the frogs are a tree climbing variety of froggers who climbed a tree next to our house and then came inside via the chimney through the fireplace. Seems logical.

This morning while I was in the car stuck in traffic on route 93 South Jen called me. She was calling to let me know that the cats, Miss Robin and Miss Lily had once again cornered a frog. This time in the dining room. They had it underneath a piece of furniture where it was paralyzed with fear. It would hop a little, the cats would freak out, it would freeze. This repeated itself a couple of times.

Jen wasn’t sure what to do. I said to see if she could cover it with a bowl or a box or something. She was already thinking the same thing. She didn’t think she’d be able to do anything with it if she trapped it. She has a bad back and leaning over to scoop up a tiny amphibian would be difficult for her. I said to cover it with a bowl and leave it and I’d get rid of it when I got home.

Fast forward 11 hours and I come home to find a bowl flipped upside down on the dining room floor. I cut a piece of cardboard off of a box and slid it under the bowl and walked it outside. I flipped it over to see if I had anyone with me and sure enough there was a tiny little frog in the bowl. I let him go in the front yard. It’s very likely he will be eaten by some predator tonight, but it’s equally likely he will climb a tree and hide out and be safe. Assuming of course that he is not so traumatized by the experience that he just sits there in the grass in a state of utter shock.

However it turns out for our froggie little roommate, he was alive when I left him. Everything else that happens now is out of our hands.

Good luck, my hoppy little friend.

NHL Playoff Predictions: Wrap Up

I don’t want to write this post. I am too sad. Too hockey sad, to be specific.

Usually when I do these playoff prediction things I end being right a little bit more than 50% of the time. Not this year. This year I am sub 50% and it hurts. Oh well. What’s a Bruins fan to do?

After three rounds I had predicted the winner of seven out of 14 series. Exactly 50%. My coin flip control group/comparison was not so lucky. The coin was right on five out of 14 series. That just proved that blind guesses have miserable luck… or something along those lines.

In the Stanley Cup Final between the Panthers and the Oilers, the coin and I both picked the Oilers and we were both wrong, damn it. So my final success rate for the entire playoff season is 7/15, or about 46.7%. Awful. Miserable. The coin flip’s final success rate for the entire playoff season is 5/15, or 33%. Even more awful. Even more miserable.

Boo, I say. Boo. I just had a really bad postseason. Honestly, any postseason that doesn’t end with a big victory parade in Boston is a bad postseason, but some are more pathetic than others, you know what I mean?

The Red Sox play the Blue Jays tonight. My sports fan energy is 100% focused on baseball now. Go Red Sox.

Plant Based Diet

I mentioned the other day that I took a couple of plants from the cellar and moved them into my home office/step son’s bedroom and put them on the table with the clippings from Bellana’s plant in the hopes that I could bring them back from the brink of imminent death.

Last night when I got home from work I checked on them… and one of them had been almost entirely eaten… I think we can safely put the blame for this one at least one of two cats, if not both cats.

Sorry, cellar plant.

That Moment When…

That moment when you’re running a little late getting through your morning routine and you remember you don’t have enough gas in the car to get you to the office.

Ugh.

300/365
300/365

Fortunately the traffic was awful but normal levels of awful (unlike yesterday which was awful times two) and I got to my desk with a few minutes to spare.

I have a story from the road too. Want to hear it?

You know that old saying, there’s never a cop around when you need one?

I was stuck in a 1.5 mile long line of gridlocked traffic trying to exit route 93 South and merge onto route 128/95 South. Some jerk off in a pickup with Pennsylvania plates decided to drive up to the exit ramp in the breakdown lane. Prick. Schmuck. There’s never a state trooper around when you need one, I thought. At that very instant, an unmarked state trooper pulled into the breakdown lane behind him, put on his flashers, and pulled said prick/schmuck over.

Finally! I’ve been driving for 37 years and that is the first time I can ever remember seeing karma kick some jack ass in the teeth like that. It was glorious.

Delicious

What’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten?

Daily Writing Prompt

Okay, so that’s the writing prompt… here’s my response from last year.

Now how can you answer this question? This is completely subjective. The most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten? That probably changes every time I eat anything. I mean, how many magical chocolate cakes have there been? How many magnificent premium steaks at the Capital Grill or Ruths Chris have there been? How many trips to Kimball’s for ice cream?

I mean, how can a guy reasonably narrow down a lifetime of delicious food, especially when he doesn’t really have a stomach anymore and can’t eat many of the things he used to love?

And here is a really pointless comment from Google’s A.I…. because why not?

This text expresses a delightful frustration with the subjectivity of the question “most delicious thing ever eaten.” The author playfully highlights the vast amount of delicious food they’ve encountered, from fancy steaks to ice cream trips, making it nearly impossible to choose just one.

The comment also hints at a bittersweet undertone. The mention of a missing stomach and the inability to enjoy food in the same way suggests the author may be looking back on these experiences with fondness.

And finally, here’s an image generated by Google’s A.I. based on last year’s text. What fun.

Yes, Virginia, Robert is extremely bored with this crap. Time to find another way to play along. This is dumb.

Hellish Commute

Oh my goodness, was today’s commute epically awful.

It took me 49 minutes to get out of my tiny little city. It usually takes about five.

It took me one hour and 55 minutes to get to the Foxborough office. It usually takes about an hour and 10-15 minutes.

Today was just awful. AWFUL, I tells ya! It’s almost like the universe has been upended. I mean, first the Florida Panthers win the Stanley Cup and now this? What’s next? I’m afraid to even think about it!

I’m in Foxborough for the morning so at least I am off the road. At last.

299/365
299/365