Patches is a Hero

Jen had something for work this morning that required her to be logged in at 5:00am. It happens. I was hoping to get out of bed around 6-6:30.

6:15am comes around and I am out like a light. Snoozing like a… whatever snoozes. Suddenly my phone starts ringing and I wake up. It’s Jen. She needs help. Turns out Patches is in the hallway outside of her office and she’s caught a mouse and she’s playing with it. I need to come out and remove the remains.

I put on shoes first. I think I was thinking something like, what if Patches hasn’t actually killed it. I might need to step on it or something, I don’t know. When I get out there, there is a mouse laying on it’s back outside of the office. Patches is a few feet away eyeing it distrustfully. That’s when the fun started.

I’m thinking that I should get a bag or something, and maybe a dustpan maybe. I need to scoop that little rodent up and get it out of the house before Ms Patches and her claws start doing science projects. Before I could move though, the little sucker flips over onto its feet and starts running. I think we can say that it’s not firing on all cylinders, mentally speaking, because it ran right toward the cat.

I went out into the kitchen and grabbed a plastic bag and a pair of tongs. Patches was playing with the mouse, running back and forth between the living room and the hallway. By the time I got back the mouse was on it’s back again, looking dead. I looked closer and it was still alive, breathing super fast. It didn’t move when I put the tongs on either side of it but it woke up when I grabbed it. I dropped it in the bag and took it outside.

If it survived the horror of being Patches’ toy then it likely froze to death after I liberated it. Sorry ’bout that, Mickey.

The important thing to note here is that after 11 years Patches has finally started pulling her own weight around here. This is the second mouse we’ve had in the house since we’ve moved in and it’s the first one she actually caught. Good job, cat. I am proud of you. Last night I was pissed at the vomit antics, but you have completely redeemed yourself by keeping your family safe from the rodent menace. You are truly a hero, kitty.