Conflicted

I am conflicted and I always get into this state when the kids are involved.

When my step daughter moved away to college in 2019 I was conflicted. On the one hand, I wanted her to go away to school and have a fantastic experience and learn a ton and make new friends and start her life and have everything be amazing. On the other hand I wanted her to stay home with us forever.

Two years later when my step son went away to college it was the same thing. I wanted him to go to school and have the time of his life and learn incredible things and have adventures and excitement and make memories that would last a lifetime while also not wanting him to leave us, ever.

In May of 2025 my step daughter moved home. She graduated and worked a two year contract at the University. When the contract ended she came home to live with us while she figured out her next move. The next move was grad school, but she had to work out the details. It took a little more than a year, but next month she is going to start school in California. 

I am so excited for her I could burst… again… just like 2019. Just like my step son in 2021. I fear I might spontaneously combust out of excitement for her future. She’s going to finish grad school with a PHD and then every time I see her I will ask her, “what’s up, doc?” and it will be epic and no one will ever get tired of that stupid Bugs Bunny joke and we will always laugh and it will be perfect.

Also, I don’t want her to move. I mean, I thought moving from Massachusetts to Vermont was bad… California? No way!

She’ll still be here for a few more weeks, but the next milestone in the moving process happened today…

It’s time to start packing. I’m excited and sad at the same time, but what else is new?

Photowalk

I went on a photowalk today. A big one. I am so sore, all over.

I had to go into the city to run an errand for my wife tonight. She and my step daughter were attending an event so I took advantage of the alone time to shoot the photos for this months installment of the Frugal Film Project in Boston.

10 minutes into the walk my watch prompted me to track a workout. Almmost exactly two hours later, after having covered more than 4.5 miles and shot two rolls of 120 film and about 1.66 rolls of 35mm film, I was back at the parking garage and I stopped the workout.

Now that I am home my legs are exhausted and my back is KILLING ME. Ooops. I’m thinking about doing another photowalk tomorrow though. I still have that third of a roll of 35mm to finish, and oddly enough, my digital camera never made it out of the bag today. I was cranking out the film photos the whole time.

In unrelated news, I don’t know how those evil nazi mother fuckers in ICE do it. I had to take one of the cats to the vet today for a check up and just putting her into the cat carrier was so much like putting her into a jail cell that I felt unbelievably guilty. Just imagine doing that to another human being. I couldn’t do it. Ever. Fuck those mother fucking nazi fucks in ICE. May they rot.

2026 50/90 Challenge Day 42/90

Day 42 (yesterday) is in the books. What progress did I make? I still had three songs that are ready to mix and I was planning on getting to some of those but I never did. Instead, I put rhythm guitars onto two songs (numbers 37 and 38) before work. After work instead of mixing I added two new songs (numbers 39 and 40) and immediately put rhythm guitars on those as well.

I now have three songs ready to mix, three ready for vocals, and four waiting on lyrics and melodies. What will I work on for day number 43 (today)? Who knows. At this rate I’ll probably just add more songs. Why not, right? I have 30 songs finished and 10 more in progress. We’re rolling along nicely.

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2026 50/90 Challenge Day 40/90

I went a little berserk on day 40.

I’m not supposed to exercise following the tooth extraction fiasco so when I woke up I immediately started recording vocal tracks. Why not, right? I had nine songs in progress and all of them were ready for vocals. I didn’t expect to get to all of them, but I wanted to get a chunk of it done. I did not expect that singing would cause pain at one of the tooth extraction points (mostly the socket that used to hold the lower left wisdom tooth) but it did. I pushed through it though and managed to crank out six of the nine songs. Six! Crazy!

But wait, there’s more!

Last night after dinner my wife had to work for a while so I was left to my own devices. I was planning to spend a little time before work one day 41 adding lead guitars to some of newly recorded vocal songs but instead I went down cellar to the music nook and started adding lead guitars last night. I once again plowed through all six songs. Six! Crazy! My finger tips were a raw, horrid, mess by the time I was done, but I got through all of the songs that were ready for leads.

I guess now day 41 is going to be a day to do some mixing. We’ll see.

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Frugal Film Project Take Two: July Edition

Hello and welcome to another installment of the Frugal Film Project. The internet challenge that tasks you with buying a cheap film camera (for me it’s a Lomography Lubitell 166 Universal from the good ol’ Soviet Union of yesteryear) and pairing it with a cheap-ish film and shooting one roll each month for a year. Seeing as I am a dumbass and a glutton for punishment I am doing two rolls per month this year. Kodak Gold 200 and Kentmere 100.

Both of July’s rolls were shot in Boston. We’ll start in color with Kodak Gold 200. It was July 5th and I was curious to see what was still around following the best 4th of July celebration in the country, the Boston Pops show on the Esplanade. Unlike last month, all 12 photos came out. I started on Boston Common and walked over to the Esplanade in hopes of seeing some stuff worth seeing along the Charles River.

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I am always extra careful to make sure that the image in the viewfinder is level before I click the shutter. Either my viewfinder is out of line or clicking the shutter causes me to dip the camera down to the right because almost every shot I’ve ever taken with this camera is crooked.

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So that’s one roll down for July. I had every intention of shooting the second roll that same day but something came up and I had to end my photowalk early. I went back on July 19th to shoot the roll of Kentmere 100. I retraced a lot of my steps but I managed to visit Acorn Street as well. That is considered to be the most photographed street in Boston. Once again, all 12 shots came out. That’s kinda miraculous to me.

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And that concludes the black and white Kentmere film portion of the project. Two rolls of film, 12 images each. Last year I started this game in May and was successful through August before failing in September. This year I started in May again and I need to last one more month to match last year’s attempt. I think I can do it. Tomorrow is August 1st and I have no clue where I want to go for the next two rolls. Somewhere in Boston, probably, but we’ll see. Until then… go shoot some film!

Rush!

Jen, Bellana, and I took a train from a little South of Boston to New York on Tuesday morning. Mike the bass player took the same train on Monday. Kevin the drummer flew into New York from Arizona on Monday. Sarah and Adam, two of Bellana’s friends, came into town from somewhere to the South (sorry, I don’t recall exactly where) on Tuesday too.

Jen, Bellana, Kevin, Mike, and I met for dinner before the show and had some excellent sushi and steak. I had three pieces of salmon sashimi and it was delicious. I also stole some of Jen’s french fries because I am a stinker who enjoys getting in touch with his Irish heritage by eating all things potato based. The fries were (and I am not overstating this in the slightest) spectactular.

When dinner was wrapping up, Bellana went off to meet Sarah and Adam and we all converged on Madison Square Garden. It wasn’t until after we got inside that things started getting weird.

The tickets we bought were in section 328. Section 328 however, isn’t an actual section. I don’t know what the hell it is. I think it’s a press box of some sort. There were two rows, separated by a stairway, and the seats were folding chairs up against a sort of desk with monitor screens under a glass table with a glass partition-like thing sticking up in front of it. We would have had to look over the glass and down to our left to see the stage. 

Those seats would have been fine and we would have been able to stand with no one behind us complaining. It just felt odd. The situation, however, was about to get even weirder.

Bellana and Sarah and Adam went off to find a merch table while the rest of us stayed in our press-box-ish seats. I should mention that we only had six tickets and Adam was going to sit by himself somewhere else, down in the 200 level. As the rest of us were discussing the weirdness of our seats am MSG staff member approached us. He told us he had a number of seats that had not been sold (why?) and he offered to upgrade us.

Upgrade us? The fuck? I have never even heard of someone getting a ticket upgrade at a concert before. I mean… huh? Are we interested in seats in the 100 level? Well, seven hells yes we’re interested! He handed us six tickets, four together and two a row behind, and walked away. Kevin summed it up best when he said, “did we just manifest this?” He then grabbed the guy and asked if we could get one more ticket so Adam could sit with us. That’s when Bellana and Sarah and Adam came back to join us and told us that a different staff member had approached them with upgraded tickets too! What the hell is going on here? 

We tried but were unable to get seven upgraded seats, but we did manage to get six together. Adam took one of their upgrades and the rest of us sat together. Through out the whole first set there was an empty seat next to us so Adam joined us during the intermission only to have the owner of the missing seat show up during the second set. Oops. We were all standing though so we all just stayed there like nothing weird was happening.

Ticket upgrades? At a supposedly sold out arena concert? Who knew?

Okay then… how was the show?

It was fucking amazing.

It was absolutely awesome.

Geddy Lee’s bass playing was his normal level of amazing. He really sounded like someone who never stopped playing over the last 11 years. The really impressive thing was his voice though. In some of the last tours before retirement he was struggling at times. His notoriously high voice was not as high as it used to be, as is normal for human beings as they get older, and there were things that he just couldn’t do. Sure, the band adjusted the keys to steal him a few extra notes but there will still times where he sounded like he was haing a rough time. Last night though there was none of that. He has mentioned that once they seriously starting playing again he worked with a voice couch to try and recover some of his range and apparently it worked because he was in the best vocal form I’ve heard since probably the early 90’s. It was so impressive.

As for Alex Lifeson’s guitar playing, he did have some issues. I am a guitar player and he is one of my absolute guitar playing heroes so I may have been more sensitive to everything he did than the normal obsessive Rush fan would be, but I did hear some struggles. I believe he has arthritis in his hands and there were definite signs of pain. I saw him shaking his hands out in between songs a couple of times like he was trying to loosen them up a little. There were a few times where he was going in for the kill on a solo and his hands just weren’t responding and he didn’t quite get there. There were other times where he did though, and hold shit were those moments amazing. The intro to La Villa Strangiato stands out as an example where he was jaw droppingly amazing. The end of the 2112 Grand Finale too. I was in awe. Amaze Amaze Amaze. I would say that the struggles represented maybe 2–3% of the show. The rest of the time he was absofuckinglutely perfect. 

As for the new folks, we’ll start with keyboardist Loren Gold. We were joking before the show that he probably doesn’t have a lot to do as Geddy is still playing quite a bit of keyboards. I think he was handing all of the sampled sounds that the whole band used to trigger throughout the show, and there were times when I heard keys playing that were not there on the studio records. That was cool. The big thing I noticed was that as Geddy was playing the keyboard solo in Subdivisions, he was playing it as well. I couldn’t hear any doubling but I could see that they were both doing the same things with their hands. Spoiler alert, I will have to pay attention to that at the next show we go to. Loren was also singing harmonies all through the show. That was really cool.

Now… for the topic everyone wants to know about, how did Anika Nilles do? Neil Peart is the greatest rock drummer the planet has ever known. Filling his role in the band is literally an impossible challenge for any drummer alive. Having said that, Anika toured with Jeff Beck. Look through Beck’s long, illustrious career and look at the drummers he worked with. Every single one of them is unbelievably incredible. She fits in with that crowd perfectly. She is absolutely equal to this challenge. Without question. She was amazing. She was astounding. She was astonishing. I need to rethink my hierarchy of the world’s greatest drummers in a post-Neil Peart world. I was pretty convinced that the top spot went to Gavin Harrison of Porcupine Tree, The Pineapple Thief, and King Crimson fame, but now? Now I am not so sure. I think my favorite parts of the entire show were the moments where she did something different than Neil. The moments where she took a piece of Rush music and made it her own. Those moments were incredible. To say I was impressed is a massive understatement. 

The show was incredible. The show was amazing. The show was an absolute joy. How incredible? Incredible enough that Jen and I bought tickets to the November 1st show at Mohegan Sun casino in Connecticut. We’re also trying to see if we can work any other show dates into our schedule. It was that good.

Now for some photos…

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Pre-upgrade view
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Xanadu with the double necks
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Alex playing Heavy Bastard
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Geddy and Anika… hiding behind her cymbals
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All four of them
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Two things. First, the only way my camera saw Anika was when she was on the screen. Second, I forgot to put my camera into burst mode of the pyro in Far Cry so this is all I got. Sorry.
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They did three tributes to Neil. This was Bravado. They also did video montages for him on Time Stand Still and The Garden. They did a little tribute to John Rutsy during Working Man as well.
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Alex auctioned off the real Whitey for charity, This must be a replica.
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The whole band
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Lasers
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Geddy playing a Gibson Thunderbird. Awesome.
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Old people rock
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Lasers and missed focus
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The Omega Stand
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No bass? No!
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During Tom Sawyer, Alex was trying to make Geddy laugh so Geddy was trying to block him out
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The only time I could see Anika’s face was on the video screen

And there we have it. My 26th Rush concert. The first since 2015. 

To quote Rocky from Project Hail Mary, amaze amaze amaze!

Showtime Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the long awaited day. We’re heading South to New York to see Rush. My step son is not going to make it. Between school and work he was just too busy. My step daughter will be with us though. I’m super psyched. My wife is super psyched. My step daughter is super psyched. We’re all super psyched.

I thought it would be fun to post a shit load of photos from the last time I saw Rush in New York. These were June 29, 2015. Just over 11 years ago. I honestly thought I would never see them again, but here we are. Neil Peart is gone and tomorrow’s show will be different. It will be new. It will be joyous and amazing and brilliant. I can’t wait.

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Okay, that’ll do for now. Here’s hoping that in a couple of days I’ll do another post just like this but with 2026 pictures instead of 2015 pictures. 

The Charles

Two weeks ago I took a bag full of cameras to Boston to shoot some film for the Frugal Film Project. I got half way though things and had to leave to go home for something. It was the day after the 4th of July and I wanted to walk along the Charles River by the Esplanade.

Today I went back. I also stopped at Acorn Street and wandered around Arlington and Berkeley Streets near where I used to go to school. I shot a roll of Kentmere 100 in my Lubitel for the Frugal Film thing. I also had most of a roll in my Nikon N90. I loaded it at Sail Boston last week and only shot a few pics before it was too dark for film. Finally, I had a roll in my dad’s Pentax K1000 that I loaded in… April? May? I don’t remember. I finished all three rolls. 

When I got home I took those three rolls and three other rolls that I finished over the last two weeks and sent them off to get developed.

While I was in town I also shot a bunch of stuff with my Digital camera. My Nikon Z5. Here come some highlights.

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Acorn Street
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Acorn Street from the other direction
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I took a ton of pics of the Hancock building
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I also took a ton of pics of the Pru
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I also took a ton of pics of little foot bridges
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I was using the 70–210mm zoom so I could take pics of things that were really far away
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The Longfellow Bridge from a crazy distance
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There is a chance that one of the film pics I took of this fountain has a rainbow in it but I think I missed it
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The view from one of the foot bridges
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Same bridge, other direction
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Bridge
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The Hatch Shell. The Boston Pops are not there anymore
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We love you too, Boston