Our meeting with the plumber today uncovered the source of Lake Asshole. Hooray!
I did a little experiment. First, I dug around the cellar and found a container that would fit under the offending leaky pipe, as so:
Next, I let some time pass. I don’t remember how much time but I’m guessing around six hours, give or take. I then brought the container upstairs to dump it in the sink and also took a picture:
At the time this photo was taken, the cellar floor was bone dry. Yeah…. We found the leak.