I feel weird right now. I’m very tired. Sleeping doesn’t seem to help as much as it should. How weird is that? Jen and I both go to bed completely tired, and then wake up 6-7 hours later feeling just as tired as we did when we went to bed.
The weekend is upon us but it is probably not going to be a restful one. There are softball try outs tomorrow along with piano class. Some housework needs to be attended to. Jen has work work and school work to do.
On Sunday I am on call for a major customer’s major software update. These things normally do not require me to work, but the last time this customer went through an update I had to work quite a bit.
That’s bad, but what’s worse is that my step son has little league try outs on Sunday and I can’t be away from a computer. I’m crushed. I want so badly to support the kids in their baseball/softball careers. In the last year my step son has become a fanatical baseball fan and he and I can gab about the game endlessly. My step daughter doesn’t get nearly as wrapped up in things, but every coach she’s had has made it a point to tell me how good she is. I know enough about the game to be able to tell that for myself, thank you, but it’s always great to hear it from coaches. She’s good. She’s really good.
I love baseball. I loved playing when I was a kid even though I was always the worse kid on the team. Just being around the game was so much fun. I want my step kids to feel that way too, and I want to be there to encourage every little detail. On Sunday, however, I am going to miss out on something for one of them. I’m really disappointed in myself. Don’t get me wrong, I know how good I have it schedule wise as far as my job is concerned. The commute sucks, the money is low, and I get stressed out like mad at times, but I punch in at 9:00 and I punch out at 5:30 and the changes to that schedule, being on call or what not, are few and far between. I have my weekends, and when my wife’s incredibly intense schedule comes into the equation I am able to get the kids where they need to be, or get the errands done. It pleases me that I can do those things and I really shouldn’t bitch about the rare instance where work does get in the way of something on a weekend… but I’m still going to bitch and you just have to deal with it.
So I am tired right now. I’ve been sleeping okay, it just hasn’t made much of a difference. Now I’m annoyed too because I won’t be there for my step son on Sunday. So I’m tired and annoyed. Being annoyed makes me more tired. Being tired makes me more annoyed.
Oh please, please let this be a quiet day at work.
Inside the Red Head's Head 