The Next Step

Today marks two weeks on the post-surgery recovery plan’s Stage II diet. (It might be phase II, not stage II, but who cares) Where do we go from here?

In about 5-10 minutes I will be heading out of the house to go to my Stage III class. That is, I believe, when they start letting me eat solid foods. Actual chewing will be involved.

I gotta say, I am a smidgen nervous about this step. I really want to eat food again, but I also really want to keep babying my little baby stomach.

I’ll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck.


Jen made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner for her and Harry, who coincidentally started a new job in a restaurant today, and she purred a meatball for me.

It was my first post-op taste of red meat and it was glorious.

It made me think about eating at restaurants. My go-to is usually a steak, but there is no way I’m going to be able to eat a whole steak in one sitting now. I’m going to have to learn how to be the kind of guy who takes home the leftovers. Maybe I’ll keep a cooler in the trunk of each car, or something like that.

Proud of Me

I’m feeling all proud of myself right now. I made scrambled eggs for myself. It’s not the first time I’ve made scrambled eggs (it’s been ages, maybe even decades), but it’s the first time I made them in a purée friendly fashion for post bariatric surgery purposes.

Look at me, all cooking and shit.


Yesterday was a much better day as far as gas and pain are concerned. I was very pleased to hit a milestone too.

The goal in the puréed food stage is to try to eat a quarter of a cup of food at a time. Last night at dinner, Jen puréed some chicken for me and gave it to me with a teeny little side of mashed potato. The combined size of the serving? About a quarter of a cup. Awesome!

Even better? I had a bite or two of potato left and I had to stop eating. I felt full. Like legitimately, unquestionably full. It was a bit of actual hard evidence that my tiny new stomach is getting with the program. Two weeks ago I would have eaten that meal in one bite. Chomp, gulp, done. Not any more. Here’s to a lifetime of small, healthy portion sizes.

For breakfast today there was a quarter cup of scrambled eggs. I can’t say I feel full after eating it, but I do feel comfortable. Good job, tiny little baby stomach. Keep it up.

Say No to Applesauce

So I’ve had my first post-op bad reaction to a food.

Fortunately it has nothing to do with the surgery and everything to do with, “what was I thinking?”

The applesauce I had for “lunch” has left me with the worst gas. Duh. It’s apples… of course it made me gassy.

There is a bit of a stomachache and I’m burping like you wouldn’t believe. At some point I expect to fart hard enough to launch my dumbass into orbit.


Day Nine

Hello and welcome to day nine post-op. What’s on the agenda for today?

Yesterday I had three one-teaspoon sized “meals” of pureed food. The goal is to get up to five quarter-cup sized “meals”. Based on yesterday’s success, I think that will be doable eventually, but not right away. Today, I’m thinking of bumping up from a teaspoon to a tablespoon. I think that’s a good enough push for myself for one Friday.

I also need to keep up with the liquids. Dehydration is the one troublesome thing over the last week. If I stay on top of it I’m okay. If I don’t I get a little light headed. It doesn’t sound like hard work, but damn, it seriously is. I’m doing okay, it’s just tough and I struggle with it here and there. I also need to continue to get off my ass for a few minutes each hour and move around and keep the circulation moving. That has not been a problem at all, I just need to stay vigilant. The Apple Watch Activity app’s stand hours goal is a help there. I think I’ve missed one stand hour in the last week. No troubles there.

I am turning into a television binge watching couch potato though. I mean, enjoy it while it lasts, right? I mentioned all the Star Trek yesterday, but I also got it into my pea brain to get back into Breaking Bad (I’m about to finish season two), and there’s a new horror show on Prime Video called From that looks okay. I watched the first episode yesterday. Today is also supposed to be the debut of the new season of The Kids in the Hall, the first in 30 or so years, also on Prime Video. I can’t miss that. Over on Netflix, I plowed through the second season of Russian Doll in world record time. It wasn’t as good as the first season, but it was still excellent. I’m also trying to stay connected to the guitar universe. I’m a little nervous about playing, what with the incisions in my gut to worry about, but there’s still That Pedal Show and Five Watt World and half a dozen other must-see YouTube channels.

Yeah… couch potato.

Before we get to any of that though… time to make myself a protein shake, then a tablespoon of pureed sweet potato. Later today, around lunch time, I’m thinking of maybe cracking open a little package of applesauce. Mmm, delicacy.

Puree Fail

I mentioned yesterday that I had my first taste of pureed food, post-surgery. It was a teaspoon of pureed sweet potato. Jen made it, and she made enough for me to have a few “meals” worth of it today. Once I got through my morning routine today I made myself some breakfast. I measured out the same sized spoonful of sweet potato and figured I’d warm it up in the microwave. 30 seconds later I was left with a solid, bone dry, burned mass of something that used to be sweet potato. Oops.

Note to self. Don’t use the nuke on teaspoon sized meals, M’kay?

Once it was done I made myself a protein shake and brought it downstairs to my new basement office so that I could write a post. I had my first sip 15 minutes after my last bite. I was through my second sip when I remembered I’m supposed to be waiting at least 30 minutes between food and drink.


Do better, asshole.

Here Goes Nothing Recap

I had my teaspoon of puréed sweet potato. I’m still alive. I still feel okay. I took my time. Specifically it took 45-50 minutes to get through that tiny bit of food, but that was by design. I wanted to give my tiny new stomach the simplest experience I could.

There was a little gas. No pain or anything. I finished about 10 minutes ago and we are still feeling good.

No more food until morning. I may have baby food for breakfast. I’m not kidding at all.

Welcome to the stage II diet, folks.