Rebel Moon Part II Recap

Okay, I finished the new Rebel Moon movie. As bad as the first half was (see the post from earlier today), the second half is better. Why? Because with about an hour left in the movie it turns into an unending string of action scenes with almost no dialog. Perfect. It has an obnoxious amount of slow motion, but that’s Zack Snyder for you.

There are a whole bunch of Chekov’s Gun moments. Character A picks up weapon B and dies without using it. 15 minutes later character C is about to die but stumbles on weapon B and uses it to blow shit up. That happens a few times. There is also multiple deus ex machina moments. One of the funniest moments in the movie is where the source of a deus ex machina stands regally and watches a different deus ex machina play out. It’s freakin’ absurd.

Is the movie good? Oh, hells no. Is it as bad as the reviews? Yes. The first half is worse, the second half is just one long, unending battle scene and therefore avoids all of the things that are awful about the first half. It’s still not great, but it’s better. Not enough to save the film from this review though: Terrible.

Will there be another one of these movies? From the story point of view, yes… of course there will. From the standpoint of Netflix and money? Who knows. If people are watching it then probably. If that is the case then you can blame me. Sorry about that.

Unrelated musical note. I finally got around to putting volumes five and six of Quarantine Tunes onto my bandcamp account. Not because I expect anyone to buy it… please don’t buy it… please, it is not worth any money… but so I could add them to my music page here on the ol’ bloggie. I am one mix away from finishing volume seven. I’ll probably post that to bandcamp and the music page as soon as it’s finished.

Rebel Moon II: Atrocious?

I said in a post the other day that I was planning on watching the new Rebel Moon movie (part 2) on Netflix. I was thinking about re-watching the first movie because even though I watched it a short time ago I couldn’t remember anything about it (except for the thing about Daario Naharis doing a scene with Daario Naharis). I figured I’d watch part 1 to refresh my memory and then watch part 2.

Last night, that’s what I did. I watched part 1 again. It’s still bad, but probably not quite as bad as the reviews made it out to be. The dialog is worse than I remembered. It’s really bad. I mean… really bad. The complete and total lack of plot was just as I recalled. The movie isn’t so much terrible as it is just boring.

This morning I have started watching part 2. I am about 45 minutes into it and… oh my goodness, is it terrible. I mean. Atrocious. It’s not like we are expecting much out of Zack Snyder these days but sweet christmas this is ridiculous. I still have about an hour and a quarter to go, so it might improve, but I am not what you would call hopeful.

My favorite part so far is the slow motion, action farming scenes. We watch them harvesting grain in slow motion while super intense, dramatic music plays and I gotta be honest with you all, I laughed out loud at how incredibly stupid it was. Just ridiculous like you’ve never known before. That was briefly topped by the scene of the general filling his water bottle in slow motion. Like… wow. Just… wow. I mean, it’s probably Chekhov’s water bottle, right? It’s got to have some meaning at some point further on in the movie, right? He filled a water bottle in slow motion… that has to have meaning, right?

I’m 48 minutes in now… it can’t get worse, can it? Can it?

To Rebel Moon Or Not

To Rebel Moon Part 2 or not to Rebel Moon Part 2? That is the question that vexes me so.

Actually, it doesn’t vex me at all.

I watched the first Rebel Moon movie. I forget what it was called. It was a whole movie where effectively nothing happened. It was the first half of a heist movie. You know, the part where the heist gang leader puts together the heist team? Then in the second half of the movie everything actually happens. That is what I assume is going to happen in Rebel Moon Part 2. In Part 1 they put together the team and didn’t advance the plot even the tiniest of tiny bits. In part 2? All plot, all the time.

But do I want to watch it? Probably. Do I want to watch it tonight? Probably not. The bigger question is this… because nothing happens in Part 1, I have absolutely no memory of anything that transpired in it. Due to that, do I have to watch Part 1 again before I watch Part 2? When I watched Part 1 I told myself that I would watch it again when Part 2 came out. Do I want to put myself through that though? Should I? Should I just go in cold and hope the who’s who just comes back to me?

So many questions. Too many questions. Too many questions for what is likely to be a shitty movie, at least.

I’ll let you know.

New Years Eve

It’s New Years Eve again. Wasn’t it just New Years Eve a few weeks ago? 2023 is ending? How the hell did that happen?

We don’t have any solid plans for today apart from picking up some take-out Chinese food. Maybe some board games? Maybe another round of Yahtzee?

I watched Rebel Moon on Netflix. I was conflicted. I wanted to watch it but I also did not want to watch it. See the conflict? My spoiler free review is to recommend that you wait until part two comes out in April. This movie feels like two hours worth of a four hour heist movie, where generally the first half of a heist movie is assembling the team. That means the movie that is out now is really just the assembling of the team. That’s why it doesn’t have a coherent story. It’s more like a bunch of mini-movies introducing all of the characters. Hopefully part two will make sense on it’s own. So if you wait for part two to come out and then watch them both together, maybe it will be a decent movie as a whole. For now though… eh.

I have to play guitar today. I have two songs in progress for this month’s Record Every Month challenge. They both need lead guitar parts. I need to record them today and then mix the two songs and then I will have my first R.E.M. win since September. It’s a must.

Speaking of guitar, I went down a rabbit hole last week that I find myself visiting once every couple of years. If you read this page you might have noticed that I have been obsessed with the band Rush since 1981. Back then there were two bands that I was obsessed with. The other was Led Zeppelin. As I got older though, the whole unending adolescence vibe that Zeppelin had sort of got tiring for me and I moved away from them. Also, Jimmy Page is one of my guitar heroes, and he is definitely one of the reasons I NEEDED to learn to play guitar when I was a kid. When I look at my own playing objectively though (if that’s even possible) I don’t hear a lot of his style in my playing. I think as I moved away from the debauchery that Zeppelin represented, I sort of moved away from Page too.

Every once in a while though, I feel the need to really dig into the catalog and try to remind myself that there is a lot of value there. That comes up once every couple of years, and it came up for me on Thursday. I put together a playlist with all of their studio records and over the course of the work day I plowed through all of it. Did the old musical feelings I used to get when I listened to Led Zeppelin as a teenager come back? Yes. Not exactly the same, as I am no longer that kid that I used to be, but it was close enough that I felt good about the whole experience. Now I can move on to other things again until the next time I feel cosmically compelled to examine the Zeppelin again. Probably some time in 2025, I think.

Okay then, it’s almost 11:00am. I have not had anything to eat for about three hours. It’s time to have a snack to keep my stomach happy. Gastric Bypass for the win!

Happy New Years Eve, everyone. HoHoHo.