Tag: health

Long Day

Today was a long day. Just busy from start to finish. I didn’t have a chance to stop for dinner until around 8:00. I was able to talk to my father at the rehab place for a couple of minutes but my mother’s phone kept going straight to the answering machine. It’s a landline and sometimes when you press the button to hang up it doesn’t actually close the line. That’s probably what happened.

Tomorrow is likely to be another long day. I hope it goes smoother though.

We found out this week that the building my group works in is likely to be sold. I guess someone approached us out of the blue with an offer too good to refuse. They asked us to go in and clean out our desks. They set up a schedule so there will never be more than five people in at a time. I signed up for the last day on the sheet, April 9, 2021. The last time I saw my desk was March 13, 2020. what a fucked up world, eh?

I’m so tired of it all.

Intermittent Fasting Fails

My intermittent fasting goal is 16 hours. 9pm to 1pm. Roughly. Sometimes I start early but I rarely finish early. I just go for a smidge longer than 16 hours. The goal though, is always 16 hours. If I fail to reach the goal it is because something came up. We had lunch plans with the kids, or someone was nice and made brunch. Stuff like that.

Yesterday I stopped an hour early. I didn’t have a reason. I was just hungry and really wanted some lunch. It was one of those times where I felt uncomfortably hungry. Not quite sick, just not right. Every time that happened previously I stuck it out and was proud of myself when I hit the goal and was clear to eat. Yesterday I more or less chose to fail.

It hasn’t happened yet today, but it’s going to happen again. I am going to eat breakfast this morning. I just hit the 12 hour mark a few seconds ago (8:45am) and I have decided to make some eggs. I am choosing to fail for the second day in a row.

I’m not sure if this is a trend or not. The more stress I feel right now the harder it is to stay on the plan, and I have been feeling the stress ramp up to hitherto unknown levels (hehe, he said hitherto like some smarty pants). I didn’t exercise this week either. It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve done that. It is effecting everything. I need to get back to marching in place for 30 minutes a day. That helps my appetite, my sleep, my energy levels, and sometimes even my back and leg pain levels. I think if I can get back to exercising a little each day I can get back into the intermittent fasting swing of things.

I’m sure I’ll let you all know all about it.

Vaccine FOMO?

I spent a good chunk of this morning going through nearly every vaccine distribution center in Massachusetts trying to luck into booking someone else’s cancelation. No dice.

Is it possible that part of my frustration at not being vaccinated yet can be chalked up to FOMO? The Fear of Missing Out?

No. No, it can’t. Not getting an invite to the Dispo app is FOMO (even though the entire concept of that app is flat out dumb, I still want in damn it, let me in!), but not getting vaccinated is not. The frustration over not getting a vaccine appointment is due to not having a vaccine appointment. That’s all, folks.

Jen is working today and Harry is at his dad’s so I am on my own. I’ll think of a cleaning project to do for a while then I’ll mess with my amplifiers. I said Jen is working, but the cat just ran into this room and Jen followed. Sometimes the cat gets into “Timmy’s stuck in the well” mode and makes us follow her places. It almost always ends on the bed where she just wants us to focus all of our attention on petting her. Our cat is both smart and powerful.

I am also trying to cheer myself up over my lack of a vaccination appointment by listening to Rush. Clockwork Angels, to be exact. Allow me to say that “Seven Cities of Gold” is possibly the best song ever recorded. The music annoyed the cat enough that she left the room (and allowed Jen to leave as well) but to me it’s pretty much the pinnacle of human accomplishment. I mean, that and the moon landing, but mostly Rush.

Okay, now that “Seven Cities of Gold” has finished, I’m listening to “The Wreckers” and I need to correct myself. “The Wreckers” is the high point of human accomplishment. There, fixed that.

Sleep

Why am I so damn tired? Why can’t I get a good nights sleep? I had a great nights sleep two nights ago but I was still exhausted all day. Then last night it was back to the usual crappy and now I am so tired I can’t read the words on this post. I have no idea if I’m spelling this thing correctly or not.

Why can’t I sleep, damn it??

Surgical Success

Dad is out of surgery. They said he did excellent. What a relief!

This week has been a crazy, nutty, maniac of a week even without my father going back to the hospital I am very thankful that his piece of it went well as all of my work pieces of it are circling the crazy drain.

Big thanks to the staff at Tufts.

Send Your Happy Thoughts

My father is going to have surgery today. Serious surgery. I am fully confident that everything will go well. It’s not routine, but it’s as close to routine as something this big can be. I am also scared shitless. I’m sending all of the red head vibes I have to offer and I’m hoping everyone else will send all their happy thoughts as well.

Why Can’t I Sleep

Four out of the last five nights I’ve had epically bad sleep. I’m talking pre-CPAP therapy level bad sleep. Over the last week the nights that weren’t legendarily bad still weren’t good.

Why can’t I sleep anymore? Worry and stress and guilt are surely part of it, but why is it so much worse now than it was a couple of weeks ago? Nothing has changed.

My watch tells me that last night I got 3:45. How am I even alive anymore? What the hell, bro?

Bed Time

I had a crummy nights sleep last night and the night before. I should have gone to bed two hours ago but what can you do? Looks like I’m in for crummy sleep again tonight.

But at least there’s a new WandaVision out tomorrow.

Sweet dreams, everyone!

Stressful Day Ahead

I knew today was going to be stressful. Lots of meetings, lots of important imminent deadline kind of things. Work was going to be busy. Then last night the hospital asked to have a call with all of us at some point today to review the next steps for my father. They will let us know when. So all of my stress-filled plans are in flux so that I can join a call that will likely cause my stress level to increase exponentially.

It’s going to be a rough one today. Next week, when things actually happen at the hospital, is going to be worse but I’ll hurl myself off that stress inducing bridge when I come to it.

Yippee.

Good News is Scary

We got some good news about my father’s condition today. I should be happy. I should be thrilled. I am, partly, but I’m also scared out of my gourd. The good news involves coming home from the hospital for a couple of days before going back to the hospital again for major surgery. We thought he would be staying in until the surgery and the post-op recovery were complete.

He’s good enough to come home early. Yes! He’s still going back next week. No!

My emotional state feels like scrambled eggs look.