Gun Shy: Dietarily Speaking

I mentioned yesterday that taking a couple of vitamin pills before lunch was enough to set my stomach into a spiraling abyss for a couple of hours. Wouldn’t you know it, it happened again this morning. It wasn’t as bad, but it was bad enough. I take four pills in the morning. Three vitamin supplements and one over the counter medication.

Those four pills plus eight ounces of water sent me right into gastric bypass hell. I took in eight ounces of water but probably spit out a pound of saliva. It just kept coming. Foamies like a boss. I tried to get my jogging in place (yogging in place) in while in the midst of it and I had to stop for a while to concentrate on spitting. What the hell? I can see it if it’s a food issue, but pills? Tiny little pills? I took a minute or two in between each pill too but clearly that wasn’t enough.

Once it started calming down a little, I got back to the yogging and was able to finish my exercise goal. I was then able to eat some protein supplements for breakfast without getting sick again. I was definitely gun shy though. I took my sweet time and wasted a ton of time. Enough that I was almost late for work, which is crazy seeing as I was sitting at my work desk for almost all of this.

Here’s hoping I’m through all of this today. I don’t want any issues at lunch time. I don’t want to be distracted from work at all. Wish me and my new stomach luck.

Foamies

The Foamies. I first heard that term from one of the bariatric surgery facebook groups. Sometimes when you eat too fast, or take too big a bite, or don’t chew enough, your food gets caught up trying to get into your newly redesigned stomach. Your body tries to help out by creating a ton of extra saliva. For some of us though, because our stomach is partially blocked, the swallowing reflex temporarily shuts itself off. That means all of that extra saliva sits in your mouth and just stays there. If you force yourself to swallow it your stomach starts to hurt a lot and you cough it all back up. The result is that you’re stuck with a face full of foam. Hence, The Foamies.

I sometimes get The Foamies just by taking vitamin pills. I end up standing over the toilet, or the sink, or a trash barrel, or whatever, just spitting out all of that crap. I just spit, and spit, and spit. Eventually it stops and you can move on with your life. Today I had two lunchtime plans. First, we have a big pile of chicken breasts that are going to go bad soon. I wanted to cook them in the air fryer and then store them in the fridge to have as leftovers for the next couple of days. I snuck upstairs and put them into the air fryer and set a timer for the first half of the cooking time with the intention of flipping them over and then putting them back in for the second half of the cook time.

The flip time coincided with when I needed to take my two afternoon calcium citrate pills. When the timer went off I grabbed my water bottle and my pill caddie for the day and went upstairs to the kitchen. I took the first of the two pills with a gulp of water and then went to the cookin’. When the chicken breasts were flipped over I gulped the second pill and went to work cooking my lunch in the toaster oven. It was a little piece of Purdue frozen chicken patty and some french fries, cooked in the toaster oven on the air fryer setting.

Two seconds after gulping the second calcium pill it hit me. Pain in my stomach and lots of saliva. Shit. The Foamies were hitting me. The toaster oven was supposed to run for 15 minutes and the air fryer was going to finish a couple of minutes before then. While I waited, I spit a ton of foamie into the trash barrel and the sink. It was very unpleasant and thankfully no one was in the kitchen with me. The air fryer finished and I cut open a chicken breast to make sure it was done. It was. I wrapped it all up and put it into the fridge. Project #1, complete. I spit up some more and then the timer for the toaster oven went off. I took out my lunch and measured everything so I could track it on my food spreadsheet. The Foamies persisted for another minute or two but it ended right on time and I started eating lunch.

I ate the chicken patty without incident. I was halfway through my 2.5 ounces of french fries when it hit me again. The Foamies Part Two: Electric Foamie-Boogaloo. Shit. It was a little before 2:00pm. It didn’t stop for an hour. It just kicked my ass. It wiped the floor with my digestive system. It was awful. I would work for a few seconds, cough up some crap for a few seconds, wash/rinse/repeat. Come on, stomach. Cut the shit!

I did eventually finish my lunch. Just a few minutes ago, in fact. The fries were really good. Nice and crispy. I just wish I could have had them while they were still sort of warm. I can understand when it hits me because of a mistake I make while eating. I don’t get why it hits me when I am taking something tiny like a calcium pill. I had a mild case of it this morning due to my morning vitamins too. What the hell? Should I be switching all of my vitamin pills to chewables? I was in my mid teens before I was able to swallow a pill without crushing it up first. I considered it a failure at being a grown up. Now that I may be faced with something like that shame again? I just don’t wanna! I’m almost 52 years old. I should be able to swallow a god damned pill!

The Foamies. The struggle is real, friends. The struggle is real.

Tough Pill to Swallow

I just had an interesting discussion with the cats about unusual behavior.

I took my calcium pills between 12:35 and 12:50. I took a pause between the two pills because sometimes calcium pills screw up my stomach. The first pill went fine. The second… well… the second blew things up in a huge way. I spent a solid 10 minutes leaning over the toilet hacking and spitting and foaming up like an insane person. The whole time I’m gagging up a single, tiny, little pill, Lily is sitting in the doorway watching me.

I told her that my behavior was not normal for a human. It is just something that happens to me. Mom and the kids are never going to exhibit symptoms like this. That’s when Lily jumped into the tub. I told her that behavior was also unusual for a cat, and that we’re both behaving strangely. Right on queue, Robin walked into the room and wouldn’t you know it, she jumped into the tub too.

See kitties? We’re learning so much about abnormal psychology right now. We could practically teach a college level course on it. Fascinating!

Bonus Weigh In

The last time I wrote about stepping on the scale I said I was going to do this, but I was 90% kidding… and then I did it. I guess 10% serious was enough.

The last time I weighed myself and lost weight was the monthly check in on March 4th. I was down to 216 pounds even. The next two Wednesday weigh ins I was up. First one pound, then 1.4 pounds. I was not bothered by that. It was expected and not a big deal. The thing I was kidding about was that I would step on the scale every day and when (if?) I ever went below 216 I would mark it on my spreadsheet. Ha ha ha, right?

I think I weighed myself on Thursday. I don’t think I did it on Friday. I honestly can’t remember if I did it yesterday, Saturday, or not. This morning I did it and I was down to 215.6. Heh heh. The spreadsheet and the Health app on my iPhone have been updated. I’m down 2.8 since Wednesday, which probably means the scale was inaccurate somehow. I don’t care. My BMI is 26.2, my weight loss since surgery is 215.8 which means I have lost more weight since May 4, 2022 than I actually weigh, and my total since the first weigh in is 236.4.

And all was right with the world.

So Far, So Good

I didn’t have much of a breakfast today. It was just a couple of protein supplements while in the car on the way to the office. Nothing special, but there were no issues at all. Check.

Lunch was one serving of microwaved chicken tenders and a couple of ounces of peanuts. No issues there either. My stomach handled it well. The closest I came to a problem was actually feeling a little too full.

I am at about 80% of my protein goal, and 75% of my liquid goal. After last night’s shenanigans I was worried that things would go bad today. Fortunately it is so far, so good.

Here’s hoping dinner goes off without a hitch too. It’s looking like it might be protein bars in the car again, but that’s okay. Fingers crossed.

Week 42 Weigh In

It’s Wednesday and Wednesday is Weigh In Day. My gastric bypass surgery happened 42 weeks ago today. What’s the latest news? We’ll, I’ll tell ya.

It feels like things might be leveling off. I am still down this week, but for the second week in a row the loss isn’t that different than what I was seeing years ago when I was on Weight Watchers, or WW as it’s now known. About a pound a week. In the old days the hope was half a pound each week. Last week I was down 1.8 pounds. This week it’s 1.4. So better than the WW days, but not that much better. I have mentioned a few times this week that I have been eating a lot more since my mother went into the hospital at the end of January. I am trying to cut back a little but results have been slightly less than successful.

So I am down 1.4 pounds. I haven’t broken 220, but I am right on the edge. The scale read 220.6 this morning. So close. Hopefully next week that 10’s column will flip. There were milestones elsewhere though. My BMI went from 27 to 26.8, inching closer to the magical 25. My weight lost since the surgery flipped the 10’s column and hit 210.8. The total weight lost since the first weigh in flipped the 10’s column last week and now stands at 231.4. I suspect it will be a while before I flip the 10’s columns on the totals again. We’ll see. I have an appointment with my surgeon next week so I will be sure to ask what comes next as far as leveling off is concerned.

So that’s the latest on the weight loss front. Now I just have to get my ass in gear on the RPM Challenge stuff. So much to do and almost no time left to do it. This weekend needs to be uber productive. Fingers crossed.

Week 38 Weigh In

Well this one is going to be weird.

I’ve been sick for about three days. I haven’t been eating on a regular schedule, I haven’t been hitting all of my goals, I had two days without exercise, and I even missed my two doses of calcium yesterday. I woke up feeling okay this morning, which was a really nice change, and I expected to be down a little but I wasn’t hoping for much.

Way to read the room, Robert.

I was down A TON.

Last Wednesday’s weigh in was 235 pounds. Today was 227.8 pounds. A one week loss of 7.2 pounds. That is absurd. Utterly ridiculous. I expect to be up next week because 7.2 pounds is not normal or sustainable or good.

It is, from the tunnel vision point of view of weight loss, awesome though. Not because it’s a good thing, but because IT PUT ME OVER 200 POUNDS SINCE THE SURGERY! 203.6 pounds to be exact. YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!

Hitting 200 pounds since the first check in was amazing. Hitting 200 pounds since the surgery is so much better. I don’t know why that is, but it is. You’re just going to have to trust me on this one. TWO HUNDRED POUNDS SINCE SURGERY, BABIE!

So the 10’s column changed for my current weight, the hundreds column changed for loss since surgery, the 10’s column changed for total since first appointment, it’s now 224.2 pounds, and the BMI dropped almost a full point, from 28.6 to 27.7.

I mean… holy shit, boys and girls! Two hundred pounds in 38 weeks. I never even dreamed of this. Two hundred freakin’ pounds!

I’m an Idiot

I had my gastric bypass surgery over seven months ago. Today was the first time I forgot to wait 15 minutes after having a drink before having something to eat. I started eating dinner nine minutes after having a drink.

What the hell, moron? Seven months? What’s wrong with you?

Dumbass.

Harry is here. We’re going to pile into the car and go look at xmas lights. That’s like my punishment for being a moron*.


*No it isn’t.

Post Surgical Education: Shake Edition

I learned something about my new stomach this morning. I learned that Slimfast meal replacement protein shake things don’t work for me. The taste was all right, but I couldn’t get through 11 ounces because my stomach complained so much. I think it might be the thickness of the drink? I don’t know. Every sip made my stomach feel clogged up and the gas it produced was massive.

Okay. Live and learn, Robert. No Slimfast shakes for you.

Duly noted.

Week 32 Weigh In! YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!

Hello and welcome to today’s weigh in post, and it is a doozy, oh my readers and only friends! Your humble narrator woke up feeling sick to his stomach today but he doesn’t care because HOLY SHIT!!!

Now I have mentioned that food has been troubling me over the last week or so and it’s likely down to that as the reason the numbers have me so out of my mind ecstatic this morning. Given that, it’s safe to say that once I get myself straightened out some of what I am cheering about today will be put back on. That’s okay. I can live with that. I am just in the moment right now and the numbers in this moment are… Fuck me, are they incredible!

Last week, for the week 31 weigh in, I weighed 254.6 pounds and my BMI was 31.

Today… week 32… oh my goodness… I weigh 248.6 pounds, which is down a mammoth SIX (6) pounds! I haven’t had a six pound week since September. Six pounds is MEGA, but that’s not what the bliss is about this morning. My BMI is down to 30.3. I’m three tenths of a point away from not being obese anymore, but that’s not what the bliss is about this morning.

My total weight loss since the surgery is breathtaking. I flipped the 10’s column again, moving up to 182.8 pounds! I have lost over 180 pounds since May 4th. I can’t believe it. That is absolutely stunning and shocking and that’s still not what this bliss is about this morning.

So what is the bliss about this morning?

On my first visit to the weight loss clinic on January 19, 2022, I weighed 452 pounds. Let’s do some math, shall we?

452.0
– 248.6
———–
203.4

OH MY GOD, PEOPLE! I TOPPED TWO-HUNDRED POUNDS! FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO, I’VE LOST TWO HUNDRED POUNDS IN SLIGHTLY LESS THAN ELEVEN MONTHS!

My total weight loss since the first check in is 203.4 pounds! TWO-HUNDRED THREE AND FOUR TENTHS POUNDS!

I HAVE LOST TWO-HUNDRED POUNDS!

I’m going to have to write more about this later because at this particular moment in time I am too dizzy with shock and delight to really process this. I will write more after I get to work so I can bask in the bliss for a few hours first.

TWO-HUNDRED POUNDS!!!!!