Tag: Family

I Need to Play

I need to play guitar tonight. I’m starting to go crazy again and I need to play to fix my brain a little.

Harry goes back to his dad’s today and comes back on Wednesday and Thursday. Then over the weekend Bellana comes home and stays with dad for the weekend. It’s his birthday next week so they are celebrating over the weekend. Then on Monday and Tuesday she will come here while Harry stays at Dad’s. I am hoping we can steal him for a little while but I doubt it.

Then on Wednesday Bellana goes back to Burlington. I go back to work for two days and Harry comes back to our house for two days. Then on Friday we move Harry into school in Burlington and that’s it for us having kids in the house.

Less than two weeks away from the empty nest. If you were wondering where today’s flavor of misery comes from, that’s it right there.

Season 11

I had a moment just now where I thought I missed the premier of The Walking Dead’s 11th season, but that doesn’t actually happen until next week. Whew, eh?

I closed all three rings in my activity app tonight. That means I closed all three rings every day for a week. The app calls that a perfect week. I’d be much more excited about it if my legs weren’t in so much pain.

This has been a really good weekend for the three of us. The only thing missing was my step daughter. She’s coming down next weekend and we are going to get to spend some quality time with her. This weekend though was all about Harry and it was wonderful. I’m so excited for the next chapter in his life to start in two weeks but I’m also crushed that he has to leave us. I want to make the most of the time we have left.

For now though, let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow’s a work day.

Sweet dreams, internet.

The Final Sunday

Well here we are. Today is the last Sunday we have with Harry before he leaves for college. Next Sunday is with dad, and the Sunday after that he’ll already be two days into his college career.

So we’re being weird today and driving up to the New Hampshire lakes region for some mini-golf and some wandering and exploring. It’s kinda our thing. The wandering and exploring, not so much the mini-golf, but that’s our excuse-destination.

Pics will be shared, I am sure.

Off we go!

Flake Day

We have had the most glorious flake day today. Jen and Harry and I are just hanging out together. There is comedy on the TV there is a cat lounging on the couch, dinner was Japanese food, there was a trip to Best Buy for college supplies and it’s pretty much the best day I could possibly have.

Saturday Morning

I slept in my own bed last night. Actually, I slept in A bed last night. My wife was with me. My step son was down the hall in his room, my cat was crawling all over us and purring like a purr machine.

We watched The Suicide Squad last night. It was awesome but too gory for Jen and she had to bail. Sorry sweetie. We then watched the episode of Parks and Rec where Letters to Cleo played the Unity Concert and Kay Hanley winked at whatshisname and Jen and Harry thought it was funny because me and Larry and Mike would have KILLED for a sliver of attention like that back in the 90’s. I bet Mike still has that water bottle that he took from the stage after a show at… The Paradise? Was it a solo show at The Lizard Lounge? I forget. I just remember that show at Merrimack College when she eviscerated the schmuck who was trying to slam dance (pick your spots, moron) and she stopped the show to tear him a new one and the three of us all simultaneously concluded that she is in fact the greatest front person in all of rock and roll past, present, and future.

Today I cleaned up the trash off the yard after the rodents knocked over the barrels again. Harry was nice enough to do it yesterday and all his hard work was ruined by a family of plague and rabbis infested squirrel pricks. Then I vacuumed up Lake Asshole in the cellar which has been forming for much longer than I ever let it form before, and it’s still smaller than it was regularly getting… so that’s good? I guess?

And while doing all of these chores I was just so friggin’ happy that I was doing them at my house for my family and not doing them at my parents house.

It is so good to be home.

Late Lunch

I had a late start to my lunch break today. Hopefully that will make the second half of the day feel a little quicker. I often play mind games with the clock like that. Does it make a difference? Probably not.

I am feeling really stressed out today. I am trying so hard to keep a level head, but I feel like a temper tantrum is coming at any moment. I’m suddenly feeling really tired. Probably because I just ate a nice PB&J lunch and I’m full and my brain thinks some shut eye is a good idea. Instead I am taking diet pepsi through an IV directly into my heart. The caffeine is helping, but I fear it won’t be enough.

I have actually been able to get some good work done today, but my mother is having a rough day today and everything is getting under my skin. She’s not complaining about pain at all. She did for a while, but mostly today it’s just been memory. She asked me where her husband was. I said he’s in the bed in the next room. She said no he wasn’t. She said she wanted to go home. I told her she was home and that this has been her home for more than 50 years. She said it used to be her home but not anymore and she wanted to go home to her parents house. I had to tell her that her parents weren’t in their old house anymore. Because they are both dead, she said. Yes. She said her mother died recently. I told her it’s been 23 years.

It’s so stressful, and feeling like I’m leaning against the tipping point isn’t making it any easier to deal with. I really need to go home and see my family. I haven’t seen my wife in almost 48 hours. I haven’t seen my step son in 24 hours. I haven’t talked to my step daughter in over a week. I’m just feeling crushed right now and they are the only thing that can straighten me out. I love my parents and clearly I’ll do anything for them, but for fucks sake I have a family of my own and I miss them so much.

Ugh… I don’t even remember what I was going to talk about. Give me a second, I have something in my eyes. No, I’m not crying, you’re crying. Wimp.

Okay, I have to get back to work. Talk to ya’ll later.

Feels Like Home

Last night was pretty quiet. My mother fell asleep sitting up on the side of her bed. She was like that for over an hour. I woke her up and told her she should lie down or she was going to hurt her back. She told me she hadn’t been sleeping and that I was crazy. Now she’s complaining about how much her back hurts.

My father didn’t sleep terribly well either. He has some aches and pains but I am not sure that is what was bothering him. I heard him sleeping and waking off and on. He’s supposed to take some Metamucil with his morning pills. He’s complaining that I made it too thick. Sorry, dad.

I went to bed a little earlier than I usually do when I am here. I turned in at 11:15 or so. I woke up a little before 4:00am again. That keeps happening. This time I woke up on my own. Both of my parents were sleeping. I didn’t fall back to sleep until sometime around 4:30 and then I stayed under until about 6:00. I got five hours and 45 minutes of sleep. That’s like hitting the jackpot around here.

I got up and started getting ready for the day. I showered, packed up my dirty laundry, packed up my CPAP machine, and took it all out to the car. That’s when a little piece of home followed me here.

I often bitch about the friggin’ wildlife in our yard getting into our trash barrels. It’s pretty common for them to knock them over and scatter shit all over the place. As I was walking back from the car to the house I saw that something knocked over one of my parents’ trash barrels. I got to have the homey experience of cleaning all of their shit off the yard too. Hooray.

The home health worker is going to be a little late today. She should be here around 9:15. I only have two short meetings on my schedule today. I am seriously hoping for a quiet day at work. Yesterday wasn’t bad, but overall I really need things to go simply and smoothly today. I can already feel my fuse getting shorter and shorter. I just need to keep my head down and not lose my shit over something irrelevant.

Duck and cover, everyone. Here comes Friday the 13th. In the immortal words of that guy Samuel L Jackson played in Jurassic Park, hold on to your butts.

Long Day

I’m a little more than half way through my 48 hour parent sitting shift. I have been here for approximately 28 hours but I swear it has felt like 9,000.

Nothing bad happened today, it just seemed to drag on forever. My father has been fine. The home health worker sat around bored for most of her shift, but she was able to pitch in with dad on the couple of instances where he needed a little help. My mother hasn’t had a bad day pain-wise, but memory wise has been difficult. They were supposed to go and get their haircut at 1:00pm. My sister was going to come over and pick them up and drive them to the appointment. On the way over the woman who cuts their hair called her and said she was on her way to the house. What?

So instead of my sister and my nephew coming over and then everyone leaving the house but me, every one stayed and we added the hair stylist too. It was really hard to work while all 600 people were here. My step son coming over for lunch made it all better, but I ended up putting noise canceling headphones on and cranking the volume so that I could almost shut them all out. It didn’t work that well, but it was better.

The whole time the hair dresser was here my mother kept asking her how she found them. She was constantly insisting that this is not her house even though all of us assured her that this is the house she’s been living in since 1969 or so. She wouldn’t have it. She was positive she wasn’t in her house and she didn’t know where she was and therefore the hair dresser should not have been able to find them. My father whispered to me that she is getting much worse. She is. It’s heartbreaking and it’s awful.

Tomorrow is another day. They have another appointment in the afternoon, but it’s a tele-health appointment with their primary care physician. My brother is going to come over and take the call with them. I have a meeting at about that time so I don’t know if I will be able to join them. My father has been plowing through bottled water this week and we ran out of his favorite kind. Also, strangely, he is craving Rice Krispies. My sister stocked up on both today and will bring them by tomorrow. My goal is to focus on work as much as the situation will let me, and then when 6:30-7:00pm finally arrives I will get the fuck out of here, go home and watch The Suicide Squad with my wife and my step son, and not come back here until Tuesday night.

I need this to be over. I need to spend time with my wife. I need to spend time with my step son before he leaves for school in a couple of weeks. After that, I need my fucking band to get back together and that can’t happen while I’m parent sitting. I need this to be over.

My Step Son is the Best Person on Earth

My step son is literally the best person on Earth. Holy crap is he amazing!

Just as I was about to start my lunch break he called me. He asked if I was busy and I said no. He asked if I could come out to my car. What? Sure! I went outside and there he was. He brought lunch for both of us. Five Guys, to be exact. Can you believe that? Can you believe how amazing that was?

I love my step son so much I just don’t have the words. That was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Ever. I am so happy. I honestly think I might cry.

Humid

Things stayed quiet last night, other than the 3:30-4:00am bathroom experience I mentioned in the last post. Outside of that it was okay. I failed to hit the five hours of sleep mark, but only because I was awake for that half hour. I only came up short by a few minutes. My SleepWatch numbers weren’t great, my heartrate dip was only 11%, but I am feeling okay right now. We’ll see how I feel around 3:00pm today. I’m guessing I will be a bit of a mess.

My parents are okay, dad is still asleep. I have 20 minutes to go until I have to give them their meds, and the home health help should be here around the same time. None of that is the story today.

No, the story today is the weather. Specifically the heat and humidity. It was still 80 degrees out at midnight last night. It’s 77 right now, but the humidity… There is so much moisture in the air that just sitting here has me drenched in sweat. There are two air conditioners in the house, one in my mother’s bedroom and a huge one in the living room. Neither of my parents like to have them on. I don’t even know why I put them into the windows this year. The big one displays the air temperature in the room and my father doesn’t like to turn it on unless the room temperature is above 80. Yes, you read that right… 80 degrees.

I have my little desk fan, which is pretty much the hero of 2021, and someone also brought a bigger, yet still small enough to keep on the desk, fan that I have on the floor blowing straight up at me. Those two things together will hopefully keep me from overheating or literally drowning in my own sweat. The forecast is calling for mid nineties with humidity in the high nineties (it’s 96% right now) and a heat index (whatever that is) that should make it feel about 10 degrees hotter than it is.

Yippee.

Should be an exciting day. Duck and cover and stay cool, folks.