Tag: Family

Long Day

Don’t you hate it when you read someone’s blog (or any social media) post where they talk cryptically about something but don’t give any specifics on what they are talking about and go out of their way to not share any details at all?

It was a long day. I left the house at a little past 11:00am and went to the hospital to stay with my father. I left at 7:00pm. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. There may be a family discussion tomorrow and if there is it may be rough. That’s all the detail you’re getting.

I am home with the love of my life now. My bride and our two psychotic cats. I am where I belong, even if I feel the need to spend time just sitting with my father during his time of trouble.

To quote the band Traffic from a song from their brilliant self titled second album, “who knows what tomorrow may bring?”

Day Game

The Red Sox and the Astros are playing a day game today. The Sox are up 3-1 in the eighth inning. I’m just watching the game with my dad.

It would be better if we weren’t in a hospital room, but I’ll take what I can get.

Changing Up Tomorrow

My annual review was scheduled for tomorrow but circumstances conspired to allow us to move it to today. Nice. That also means I can take a sick day tomorrow and spend the day at the hospital with my father. Visiting hours don’t start until 10:00am so instead of driving to the office at 7:30 I don’t have to leave the house until 9:30. That means I can either sleep a little later tomorrow, or I can get up at the usual time and play some guitar.

Mental health wise, both options would be wonderful, but I think the guitar playing thing might be key.

On an unrelated note, my wife is brilliant. She is just amazing and everyone knows it and agrees.

Stress

Why is it that missing a day of work makes things 100 times more stressful when you return the next day? I was out Friday and it seems like nothing really happened in my absence, but here we are today and I am stressing out over every tiny detail?

I thought this week would be a normal two-days-in-the-office week but now it’s three. I have three pieces of paperwork that I need to have done by (probably) Thursday. It should be super simple. In fact, there were four pieces of paperwork and I’ve already cranked out one of them. I’m freaking out over the remaining three though. Why? I have time off booked for Monday and Tuesday next week. I thought they were going to be music days, but now will the be spent with dad in the hospital? I don’t know. Maybe. Part of the time at least.

Seriously. Stop freaking out over nothing, Robert. You’ve got this shit covered. You can handle it. Stop stressing. Work is okay. Dad is going to be okay. Calm down and just get it done like you always do.

I think I might just be reacting to being sad that Bellana left for Vermont this morning. No clue when we’re going to see either kid again. I’m guessing that’s the real root of my struggles with this particular Monday.

Over all it’s not a bad day or anything, I am just stressin’ like ya do. May your Mondays be easier on the ol’ stomach, as it were.

Sunday Stuff

Lots of stuff going on today. It started with car music. I put vocals onto the four songs that were ready and then wrote the lyrics and the melodies to two more as I was recording. One of them suuuuuucks. The other might be okay.

Errands run, chores done, worry over my dad worried. I am hoping to spend some time with Bellana today before she goes back to Vermont tomorrow. I feel like I’ve been missing her visit.

Random picture time. First, my “recording studio” view. Can you believe how terrible the light is? The weather is dreadful right now.

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Next, the center of town. Clock included.

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353/365
353/365

And in closing… cats.

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That was Tough

The point of this blog is to bear my soul to the universe (no it’s not, there literally is no point to any of this) but how can I accurately do that without sharing any specific details about the current situation?

Let’s just say that it was tough today. I was at the hospital with him for a smidge more than five hours. Most of that time was quiet and uneventful. The rest? Yikes.

Being there was tough for me. I can’t even imagine how tough it was for my father who actually experienced everything.

I’m home now with my wife and my step daughter. We’re watching The Fall Guy and I’m trying not to stress over things.

Dizzying Day

The funeral was lovely. I went to a post-funeral lunch and it was nice.

I then went to the hospital and within minutes of arriving my father was moved to a new room and I had to run out to help with something that suddenly came up at home.

It has been an insane day and it’s going to continue to be insane for the foreseeable future. My step daughter is here though, so that’s good news.

Random Thoughts

The last few days have put me into a prolonged, slow burning state of freak out. Fun.

My friend’s father passed away on Monday. My father went into the hospital on Tuesday. No details on either situation will be forthcoming. We just got clobbered by a thunderstorm which, it turns out, was rough enough to knock out the power in the hospital. The backup generators kicked in a second later, but woah.

I am planning to go to the hospital after work tonight. I need to make dinner first but then I’ll go for a quick visit before visiting hours end. Tomorrow morning is the funeral. I’ll go to the hospital afterwards. How’s that for a tough day? The last few days have been bad, but tomorrow… woah.

On less important (re: not important at all) topics, I have one more episode of The Umbrella Academy’s final season to watch. I strongly suspect that once I finish that final episode I will immediately start a rewatch of the entire series from season one episode one. I think that is going to happen.

Earlier today I was looking at Threads (the twitter alternative social network made by the same assholes who make instagram and bookfayce which begs the question why the fuck am I giving this new social network site the time of day) and I posted that musically speaking, today is a Porcupine Tree kinda day (from a mental health standpoint, of course… meaning heavy and complicated and confusing if you’re not paying close attention). TWELVE MINUTES LATER I got a notification that the Porcupine Tree instagram account had been ported to Threads. They haven’t posted anything yet but I guess I should say you’re welcome?

I don’t know what the dad situation is going to be like this weekend but I do know that Bellana, my step daughter, is coming over for a visit. All the bad, scary stuff going on feels a little more bearable when the kids come by. I am really looking forward to seeing how she did at her conference this week. I want all the sciency details.

Speaking of science, from a nutritional standpoint I screwed up yesterday. I spent the whole day at the hospital with Dad and when I left the house I forgot to take my pill case with me. I took my breakfast vitamin pills before I left, and took my lunch vitamin pills when I got home for dinner. I was going to take my dinner vitamin pills before I went to sleep, but I fell asleep earlier than expected and missed that dose. Dummy. Note to self: bring the friggin’ pill case tomorrow. Dumb ass.

What else? Word from the hospital this afternoon is that Dad is starting to show early signs of coming out of whatever was wrong. My fingers and toes and eyes are all firmly crossed. Again, I am not sharing details beyond a small hint of optimism. Enjoy it while you can.

Okay, Robert. Stop stressing and get back to work. You have stuff to do. Do it.