Why Can’t I Sleep

Four out of the last five nights I’ve had epically bad sleep. I’m talking pre-CPAP therapy level bad sleep. Over the last week the nights that weren’t legendarily bad still weren’t good.

Why can’t I sleep anymore? Worry and stress and guilt are surely part of it, but why is it so much worse now than it was a couple of weeks ago? Nothing has changed.

My watch tells me that last night I got 3:45. How am I even alive anymore? What the hell, bro?

Absent Minded Apple Watch Guy

You’d think that after a year and a half I’d have this down pat.

I screwed up my technological sleeping workflow on two consecutive nights. What the hell, self?

I think it was June of 2019 when I first started using a CPAP machine to help me combat sleep apnea and constant snoring at 180 decibels. At that time I also started wearing my Apple Watch to sleep so that I could use it to track all sorts of sleepy time data.

It’s been nearly a year and a half. Every night, before bed, I put the watch on the charger to top off the battery. When I lay down to go to sleep I put the watch back on and BAM… sleep data.

Tuesday night, two nights ago to be exact, I put the watch on the charger at a bit after 9:00 PM. I finally lay my head down for a good night’s slumber at about 10:15. I fell asleep, but woke up some time later. I usually wake up around 3:00 AM or so and I looked at my watch to see if that was the case… and there was no watch there. What? I looked at the charger and there it was. Sonofa! I forgot to put my watch on. Fortunately it was only 11:30 so I was still able to track most of the night. Still… dumbass.

Wednesday night, last night to be exact, I went to bed at a little before 10:00. I sat up and doom scrolled the tweeter app for a while and then at a little after 10:00 I rolled over and slept. This morning I woke up and checked the numbers. Everything looked good. Then I noticed my watch battery was super low. What? I forgot to top off the battery before bed. What the what? Two days in a row? A year and a half into the sleep study process and I screwed up two nights in a row? I mean, I got my data and everything was fine but still… dumbass.

Two Miles

Tuesday is my weigh in day. I knew I wasn’t going to be down much if any, but I got into paranoid mode this morning anyway. I got up early and took the garbage out to the street.

When I came back inside, Jen was doing a walk-in-place workout thing. I was planning on doing some of my 30 minutes before weighing in so I joined her. 33 minutes and two (simulated) miles later I had set my record for (estimated) calories burned in a single Apple Watch-tracked walking inside workout. Talk about crazy.

As for the weigh in, for the second week in a row I was only down 0.2 pounds. I’ll take it.

A First

I’ve mentioned this a bunch of times, but in the immortal words of David Coverdale, here I go again.

On September 9th I started challenging myself to do 30 minutes of light exercise a day. Today is October 19th and I have yet to miss a day. This light exercise is either walking in place at as brisk a pace as my calves can manage, riding our new stationary bike as fast as my legs will manage, or doing yard work or carrying laundry up and down the stairs. Stuff like that. Anything that my Apple Watch recognizes as exercise counts.

Today marks an important first in that personal challenge thingie. Today is the first time I did the full 30 minutes in one sitting. Sitting isn’t the right word, but you get it, right? I walked in place for 30 minutes straight. The watch estimates I went 1.8 miles, but that’s probably just because it knows I am super tall and each step I take should be longer than the average bear’s.

30 minutes. I am pretty sure that I won’t be able to move my legs tomorrow, but I feel happy right now.

I also had to monkey with the intermittent fasting tracking today. I have meetings from 1:00 to 4:00. I have the fast set to end at 1:00, which is when I usually try to eat lunch on work days. Last night I started the fast 30 minutes early so that I could go to lunch at 12:30 and not be fasting straight through until dinner. I didn’t actually eat anything after dinner last night, so I technically could have started my fast for the night at a little before 7:00, but I figured I’d stay as close to the normal routine as I could.

I weigh in tomorrow. I’ve been good, but I don’t feel particularly good this week. I feel like the scale will not be kind. Maybe it’s time to start watching what I eat as well as when I eat it. Urgh. My kingdom for a safe, effective fat-be-gone pill. Oh yeah.

A (non-musical) Personal Challenge

For the last 23 days I’ve been able to get in at least 30 minutes of exercise and close all three rings on the iOS Activity app. My beloved wife started tracking exercise a little more than a week before I did and she managed to close all three rings for the entire month of September. I am so impressed by that and so proud of her that I am challenging myself to do the same for the month of October.

Today is October 1st and all three rings are closed for today. I can do this.

I Need to Play

I haven’t played my guitar this week and the stir crazy is getting to me. I’ve done a lot of work on 50/90 but none of it on guitar. I’ve got eight songs with vocals recorded that are just waiting for leads. I have three that are ready for rhythm guitar. Tonight. I hope. All totaled, I’m up to 47 songs now. Three more to go and then all I have to do is the gigantic mountain of work left to finish them up.

The Agents of Shield re-watch is up to season five episode one. It opens with a montage set to a Talking Heads song. At least I think it’s a Talking Heads song. It’s definitely David Byrne singing. It lead me to the question: The year is 2020, is it time for me to give Talking Heads a try? I more or less ignored them back in the 80’s. Should I change my mind? Change my tune, so to speak?

Jen and I have been trying to exercise. I’ve been getting 30 minutes or so in each day for the last few days. I’ve been slacking a little today though. One of the things the Apple Watch activity app tracks is calories burned. I had the goal set at 640. I can’t remember if I set that or if it defaulted that way, but it’s been like that forever.

My SleepWatch app has been giving me notifications stating that I get better sleep if I burn 800 calories. That’s interesting. The last few exercise filled days have seen me going way above 800 and I have been sleeping a little better than normal. I guess that settles it. My activity app has been upped from 640 to 800 calories. Yup. I need to go for a 5-6 minute walk now.