Emptiness Hurts

It’s weird how often I go through this problem when I am working in the office.

Sometimes when my tiny little redesigned stomach is causing me problems, I fear that there is something wrong and that I am on the brink of big troubles when in fact I’m just hungry. I’ll be dealing with all kinds of stomach pains and gas pains and discomfort and unhappiness, then I’ll have a small bite to eat and I’ll feel better for a little while. Then the pain will come back and I’ll be afraid there is something wrong again until I make myself have some lunch. Then I feel fine for a while. It’s weird.

I used to know what hunger felt like. I mean, don’t we all? It is a sort of human thing, right? My stomach feels funny, rumble rumble, oh I’m hungry. That’s not what this feels like though. This feels more like when you eat something that’s gone bad and it just sits like a rock in your stomach. I would hope that having something to drink would alleviate the symptoms the way having food does, but it just doesn’t work the same way. I tried drinking water today between 10:00am or so and 11:30 and it didn’t help. The pain and discomfort just kept getting worse. I had a small protein bar snack and felt 80% better. By the time I broke for lunch at about 1:15 it was all back again, full force. I had some chicken tenders and some peanuts. Less than five ounces of food combined, but probably 24 grams of protein or so. Now my stomach feels 95% better.

I’m guessing that by the time the clock strikes 4:00 I am going to be uncomfortable again. This is going to dog me back and forth for the rest of the day. If history has taught me anything, I will be fine tomorrow after a half decent night’s sleep.

The weird thing about this is how often it happens when I am in the office. I don’t know if it’s the traveling to get here, or if it’s the day of the week (office days are Wednesdays), or if it’s some other connection that I haven’t made yet. I don’t know. It’s weird.

I think I am just going to enjoy the brief reprieve while I can and try to get some work done. Here’s hoping I don’t feel like this tomorrow. Fingers crossed, folks.

Hospital Gate

Rob Shoots Film

Tewksbury State Hospital gate.

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Week 46 Weigh In

Things are getting weird now.

I posted about my bonus weigh in on Sunday, three days ago. I was down 2.8 pounds after having been up at least a pound each of the previous two Wednesdays. Yeah, I am cheating on my weigh in schedule. Wanna make something of it? I didn’t weigh myself on Monday, but I did on Tuesday and I was down a lot. From Sunday to Tuesday I was down a massive 2.2 pounds. Wow! I didn’t record it on the spreadsheet or on my iPhone. I left it officially unofficial. When I weighed myself this morning for my regular Wednesday weigh in I was up 0.4 pounds since Sunday. That’s half a pound since Sunday, which means I was up 2.6 since yesterday.

Oh boy. I am at 216 even, which matches where I was on March 4th at the 10 month check in, which is also where I was hoping to get back to after last week. What a world, right?

BMI is 26.3 again. Total since surgery is 215.4 again. Total since first check in is at 236 even again.

Yesterday turned out to be a tough day with yet another migraine. I did what I meant to do the last time I had one, which was a week ago last Friday, and made an appointment with my primary care. It was tough to do through the partial blindness and the crushing headache, but I managed. I have an appointment for tomorrow morning. We’ll see how it goes. I expect it to just be a check in that sets up referrals to other doctors, but we’ll see. Let’s hope there is a placebo thing where now that I’ve taken the first baby step toward dealing with this it just goes away. Wouldn’t that be nice?

I had another issue last night as well. I tried to stay up through the headache but I fell asleep on the comfy chair in the living room. After about 45 minutes I got up and went to bed. I slept there for about an hour and then got up and went back to the living room. My head was much better, though still far from all better, and I wanted to spend some time with Jen. We ended up going to bed around 9:30, and I packed it in around 10:00. I woke up about three hours later and couldn’t get back to sleep. The headache was gone and in it’s place was a stomach ache. Shit. I was in and out of sleep until about 5:30 when I finally got up. I drank a water bottle while getting my jogging (yogging) in, and the stomach ache lessened but didn’t go away. I had two protein bars on the drive in to work and that mostly cleared things up. I expect it will come back again as time and digestion do their things.

Yesterday turned into a shitty day. Today is better, but still shaping up to be shitty in it’s own way. Yippee.

At least I still weigh less than I did in my last two weekly check ins. I’ll take that as a win.

A Little Better

The migraine feels a little better. I slept for a while but I’m up again. It’s a three on a scale from one to 10. Three hours ago it was a seven or eight.

In closing, here’s Lily.

Another Migraine

I went 10 days without a migraine headache. The streak is over though. I had about 40 minutes without being able to focus my eyes. That seems to be passing, thankfully. Unfortunately I am now in the massive headache stage. I need to fight through the next 45 minutes and get through the work day. We’ll see how I feel at that point.

I fought through the vision phase enough to book a doctors appointment for Thursday morning. Fingers crossed we figure this bullshit out.

I need two hours of stand time to close my third and final apple watch activity app goal. I need about 20 more ounces of liquid to hit that goal, and 25 grams of protein to hit the food goal. I also need to have two more calcium pills, which have been really tough for the last couple of days.

Shit.

Gun Shy: Dietarily Speaking

I mentioned yesterday that taking a couple of vitamin pills before lunch was enough to set my stomach into a spiraling abyss for a couple of hours. Wouldn’t you know it, it happened again this morning. It wasn’t as bad, but it was bad enough. I take four pills in the morning. Three vitamin supplements and one over the counter medication.

Those four pills plus eight ounces of water sent me right into gastric bypass hell. I took in eight ounces of water but probably spit out a pound of saliva. It just kept coming. Foamies like a boss. I tried to get my jogging in place (yogging in place) in while in the midst of it and I had to stop for a while to concentrate on spitting. What the hell? I can see it if it’s a food issue, but pills? Tiny little pills? I took a minute or two in between each pill too but clearly that wasn’t enough.

Once it started calming down a little, I got back to the yogging and was able to finish my exercise goal. I was then able to eat some protein supplements for breakfast without getting sick again. I was definitely gun shy though. I took my sweet time and wasted a ton of time. Enough that I was almost late for work, which is crazy seeing as I was sitting at my work desk for almost all of this.

Here’s hoping I’m through all of this today. I don’t want any issues at lunch time. I don’t want to be distracted from work at all. Wish me and my new stomach luck.