Daily writing prompt

What have you been putting off doing? Why?

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What have I been putting off? More like what haven’t I been putting off!

I am a procrastinator. I am a master procrastinator. I am a legendary procrastinator. I am the undisputed king of procrastinators. Everyone needs to find that one thing in life that they are really good at and I found that my one thing is being an epic procrastinator.

I procrastinate at work. There are projects that I have to do regularly that I just can’t wrap my brain around unless it’s the absolute last minute. I drive myself nuts when I do it, but I do it all the time.

Home improvement projects? Why do it today when you can put it off until tomorrow. Example: When Harry moved out he took his bedroom furniture with him. Jen and I have been planning to replace it so that he can have a bedroom when he comes home. There are four boxes worth of an IKEA bed in his room as I type this. Have they been opened and assembled? Nope. That’s actually my main project for today, but it could have been done yesterday. Instead I repeatedly fell asleep watching Doctor Who. Peak level procrastination.

Even my stupid little creative projects get pushed off. I promised myself I would take the cameras out for a walk this morning, yet here I sit right at the high point of golden hour typing this silly post. Also, when was the last time I played guitar? Last month. Why? Procrastination.

Like I said, I am the king. You’re going to get a photo of that IKEA bed today if it’s the last thing I do. There comes a time when procrastination must end, am I right? Sure. I’m the king after all.

Daily writing prompt

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

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I answered one of these daily prompts not long ago with a definition of imposter syndrome. That response works for today’s question as well. When was the first time I felt like a grown up? Let me answer with another question, have I ever felt like a grown up? Let me answer that one with yet another question, what does it feel like to feel like a grown up?

Who the hell knows.

I was a 26 year old college drop out working for peanuts in a warehouse. I made the decision to get my shit together and go back to school and get a degree so that I could get a real job and have a real career. It took seven years to achieve that goal, but I did it. Was the moment when I decided to get my life straight the first moment of grown up behavior? It might have been.

Could it have been the moment when I asked Jen to marry me? Could it have been the moment I spoke those marriage vows and became Jen’s husband and Harry and Bellana’s step father? Likely.

Should I look at this more abstractly? Is the difference between adult behavior and childish behavior accepting the fact that you cannot be in control of everything? If so then it would probably be the horrible night when we learned of Harry’s diabetes. We were in the ER at Boston Medical Center and we had to sit there helpless while he was in diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA) and the doctor was basically spelling out the numerous things that were trying to take his life, and she could not assure us that we weren’t going to lose him. You may think you know what terror feels like, but unless you’ve been through something like that you probably have no idea. We were utterly and completely helpless. Was that the first time I felt like a grown up? Scared out of my skull? It might have been.

I think the real answer to this question is that there was no defining moment. There was no specific instance where I realized I was a grown up. Instead it was a gradual process that took ages to complete and really just sort of… you know… happened. Maybe that’s what growing up is? Things just sort of happening?

Deep, man. Deep.