Category: Hockey

Finally

At long last, some good news for Boston Bruins fans. The team has finally signed their starting goalie, Jeremy Swayman. After a nasty arbitration experience last season, Swayman held out through training camp, missing the entire thing, before signing a new deal.

I am not sure how the team is going to handle the roster to start the season. The opening game is two nights from now. Has Swayman being training on his own? Will they send him to Providence to get himself up to speed, or will they just throw him into the fire on Tuesday and hope for the best? Who knows.

Here’s an article from NHL.com that might answer those questions but I am too lazy to read through it right now. All I know is that the deal is for eight years and 66 million dollars. Yikes!

Bring on the season, folks. It’s hockey time once again.

Free Agents

Happy NHL Free Agency Day. The free agent signing window opened earlier today and the Bruins have landed a couple of pretty decent names. Elias Lindholm might be our new top line center. We’ll have to see how things shake out at training camp, but it’s possible. He has a 40 goal season in his past, though not last season. Nikita Zadorov is a defenseman who seems to have a bit of a reputation for punishing hits. If that’s how he plays he’s going to be a fan favorite around here. Bruins fans love big hitters.

They are both western conference guys so I don’t really know much about them. They both look good on paper, and they both also cost quite a bit of money. We just have to make sure there is enough salary cap space left to sign Jeremey Swayman to what we all have to assume is going to be a huge pay raise.

On the flip side of the free agency coin, we’ve lost Jake DeBrusk to Vancouver, and Pat (we hardly knew ye) Maroon to the Blackhawks. Those are the only departures I’ve found in the various live blogs I’ve been constantly refreshing throughout my lunch break.

Come on, General Manager Don Sweeny, we need more signings… especially Swayman. Let’s go.

NHL Playoff Predictions: Wrap Up

I don’t want to write this post. I am too sad. Too hockey sad, to be specific.

Usually when I do these playoff prediction things I end being right a little bit more than 50% of the time. Not this year. This year I am sub 50% and it hurts. Oh well. What’s a Bruins fan to do?

After three rounds I had predicted the winner of seven out of 14 series. Exactly 50%. My coin flip control group/comparison was not so lucky. The coin was right on five out of 14 series. That just proved that blind guesses have miserable luck… or something along those lines.

In the Stanley Cup Final between the Panthers and the Oilers, the coin and I both picked the Oilers and we were both wrong, damn it. So my final success rate for the entire playoff season is 7/15, or about 46.7%. Awful. Miserable. The coin flip’s final success rate for the entire playoff season is 5/15, or 33%. Even more awful. Even more miserable.

Boo, I say. Boo. I just had a really bad postseason. Honestly, any postseason that doesn’t end with a big victory parade in Boston is a bad postseason, but some are more pathetic than others, you know what I mean?

The Red Sox play the Blue Jays tonight. My sports fan energy is 100% focused on baseball now. Go Red Sox.

Hockey Pain and Hockey Suffering

The Florida Panthers won the Stanley Cup.

I watched the clock tick down on a gamecast on nhl.com. I didn’t actually watch the game. I thought about it but I didn’t want to jinx anything. My bad.

The Oilers failed to complete the greatest comeback in professional sports history and the Panthers avoided the worst collapse ever.

The team that bounced my Bruins for the second year in a row went to the Stanley Cup Final for the second year in a row but unlike last year they stuck the landing.

Shit.

Oh, and the Bruins traded Linus Ullmark last night too. We’d best get someone legendary with that first round pick.

Shit.

Stanley Cup Final Game Seven… Uh Oh

The second period just ended and the dream of a legendary Edmonton come back has taken a step back.

Florida has a 2-1 lead.

Shit.

20 minutes of regulation left in the game, the series, and the NHL season.

Come on Oilers!

Tied at One After One

Happy Stanley Cup Final Game Seven day, everyone.

After one period of play, the Oilers and the Panthers are tied at one goal each.

40 minutes of regulation play remaining to find out if the Panthers can avoid the most pathetic collapse in professional sports history*, or if the Oilers can complete the greatest come back in pro sports history.

I’m rooting for the Oilers, but given how impossible it is to come back from down three games to none in a seven game series, my money (if I had any) would be on the Panthers… even though I friggin’ hate them.

Come on, Edmonton. Let’s do the impossible and bring the Stanley Cup back to Canada where it would belong if it didn’t actually belong in Boston.

*Sure, there have been a bunch of instances of teams winning a series after being down 0-3. It’s happened in Boston twice. The Bruins blew the three games to none lead against Philly in 2010 and I have still not recovered, even though they won the Cup one year later. In happier news, the only time it’s happened in Major League Baseball history is when the Red Sox came back from down 0-3 to take the American League Championship Series from the fucking Yankees.

Why is this the biggest come back ever? I think it’s happened five or six times in pro sports history, but I don’t think it’s ever happened in a championship round. Pretty sure this would be the first. All the more reason to consider it impossible.

It would be nice to see Florida blow it and lose in utterly humiliating fashion, but it still wouldn’t make up for them beating the Bruins two postseasons in a row. It’s a start though.

Bring On Game Seven

So I pick the Oilers to win the Stanley Cup. Then Florida wins the first three games easily and I give up on hope and declare that the Panthers have more or less already won. Then as soon as I stop caring, the Oilers turn around and win the next three games easily.

Damn it.

The Oilers won game six tonight by a score of 5-1. The series is now even at three games all. Game seven is Monday night because the NHL schedule is made by idiots who thought it fine to not have gave seven on a weekend. Come on, guys. It’s game effin’ seven. Have it on an effin’ weekend. What the hell is wrong with you jerks?

I’m still rooting for the Oilers. I’m also still convinced that the Panthers are not going to lose four games in a row. I guess we’ll see what happens on Monday then, right?

Two nights from now we’ll get the last game of the 2023-24 NHL season. That’s followed by three months of nuttin’ honey. Blah.

2nd Intermission

After two periods, Edmonton leads 3-0. There’s still plenty of time to blow it. Stay strong, hockey fans who hate the Panthers.

Bring us that game seven, Oilers. Hold that lead.

I just finished the season finale of Doctor Who. It was so good. It was so very good. I’m going to have to watch it again because I am really tired and I might have missed a few seconds here and there. Over all though? It was so good.

1st Intermission

The Oilers have a 1-0 lead over the Panthers after one period. They are dick teasing me. We all know that, right? Ugh.

My stomach played nicely today. Good job, surgically redesigned stomach pouch. Everything was very predictable. My hunger pains hit me right on schedule. Also, I didn’t over eat at the end of the work day and ruin dinner. Good job, Robbie’s little pouch thing.

Want to know what did ruin dinner? Just before 8:00 I had a bite of potato. The roasted potatoes we had tonight tasted AMAZING, but that last bite got stuck. Trigger the foamies. Trigger a little nausea. It’s been an hour and fifteen minutes and it doesn’t seem to have cleared yet. I still feel like that last bite of potato is stuck. I was able to cough some of it up, but clearly not all of it.

Damn it.

Okay. It’s after 9:00. I should be clear to watch the season finale of Doctor Who now. I have a little spit-up cup next to me (TMI), I have a gamecast of the hockey game from NHL.com open, and I need to do something to distract myself from my stomach pouch whatever it is. Doctor Who should do the trick.

Further updates will be provided. Come on, Oilers. Hold that lead, you sick little monkeys.

Game Six

The Stanley Cup Final.

Game six.

It’s about to start.

Edmonton trails three games to two. They are trying to come back after being down three games to none. Realistically there is zero chance of that. They aren’t winning this series. They aren’t winning the cup.

Still… it would be nice to have another game after tonight, wouldn’t it? Seven games are better than six right?

Come on, Oilers. Prolong the agony. Pretty please.