Category: health

Absent Minded Doof

Two things.

First. On Wednesday the dietician told me to wait an hour after eating before having anything to drink. Three hours later I am sitting at my desk having lunch and the minute I was done eating I was guzzling a water bottle. I was still gulping water when I realized what I was doing. Like… dude… she just told me! Yeah, that one is going to take some getting used to. I managed to do it right all day yesterday, but come on. The first day!

Second. I’ve been using the CPAP machine every night since, what… early 2019? Years. Literally years, plural. Like… multiple years! Every night! The only exceptions being nights where I was sleeping in a room that the CPAP machine wasn’t in. I can probably count them on one hand. Last night at 11:00ish, I put down my iPad and curled up in bed and went to sleep. I woke up an hour and a half later and thought that it was weird to wake up that quickly. I woke up again at a little before 3:00am and realized I never put the damn CPAP machine on. It was sitting on the table next to the bed looking all lonely and dejected and ignored. Years! I’ve been doing it for years and I just plain forgot last night. I even woke up without it on and it didn’t register! What the hell, Robert? Years!

In other news, February is continuing its theme of being a dick. I think we’re up to three instances where a super warm day was followed a day or two later by a legitimate snow storm. It was in the mid 60’s on Wednesday and today, two days later, we’re getting a foot of snow. Nice. Way to be a dick, February.

In other news that is actually important to the future of human civilization, I am sad to realize how little I know about Ukraine. They were a Soviet Republic and an American fascist tried to use them to rig the 2020 election and got off scot free because the United States government is broken and getting close to the point where it’s not worth saving anymore. I thought they were to the South of Russia but when I looked at a map I realized everything I thought I knew about Ukraine was probably actually about Georgia. Wikipedia just confirmed that. I thought Eduard Shevardnadze was the first post-Soviet president of Ukraine, but he was president of Georgia. Shit.

I keep reading stories about heroic stands by the Ukrainian army. They took back a city, they took back the airport in Kyiv. Things like that. Every time I read something good I try to find reports to back it up and I always find one report confirming and one report confirming the opposite. In the age of instant knowledge, I really hate not knowing what’s going on.

I have a huge confirmation bias regarding this war. It’s Russia. The superpower that stood against us for all of those years. The only nation that could match our massive military machine. How can Ukraine fight them off? It’s impossible, right? Then I try to convince myself otherwise. The Soviet Union I was so afraid of is gone. Sure, Russia retains most of that might, but Ukraine was a Soviet state too. They were part of that military. Who knows, maybe they were a bigger part of it than I realize. I’m wrong about everything else so why not that too? Then I read that the US government expects that Ukraine will fall within days. Damn it. Sometimes, not often, I hate being right.

11 Minutes to Go

It’s 11:00. Past my bedtime.

I still have 11 minutes of exercise to do today. I’m trying to cram it all in at the last minute. My legs are so pissed off at me right now.

I’m sure Jen can get you the address to send flowers to when I kick it. Yippee.

ADDENDUM: I closed the exercise ring with 26 minutes to spare, and I lived to tell the tale.

Dietician

I just leaped over another hurdle. I had my first meeting with the Dietician. It was a Zoom call. We talked about how I eat and how much I eat and how I’ve made some changes already. So much more to do. She’s going to send me a meal plan. I really think that will help tremendously. I need someone to tell me what to eat because when I choose for myself I end up eating everything there is.

One thing she wants me to do now, because I will have to do it post-surgery so why not get used to it ahead of time, is no drinking while eating. I never even imagined that would be required. I also never imagined how ridiculously difficult it would be.

I am always drinking something. It used to be soda, now it’s water. The new rule is to stop drinking 15 minutes before eating, and then to not start again for 60 minutes after eating. That’s going to be tough for me, but I’ll figure it out. The timer on my Apple Watch gets used pretty much constantly already. Once I have to time when I can have a glass of water it’s going to be used so much it might catch fire.

I also have to start keeping a food journal. Oh Google Sheets, I’m coming for you!

Not Double Booked

Turns out I was not double booked. The doctors appointment is in fact tomorrow and not today. The electricians are here and for the first time in ages the lights in the kitchen and the dining room are going to work correctly. If they are done by 10:30, or even if they just don’t turn off the internets, then I may be able to attend that work meeting. I’m on vacation though, so I’ll be all incognito like. Hi everyone, I’m not actually here. Ha! I’m so professionally funny.

The best part of all of this is that I have 24 hours left before I have to lose my head being afraid of another doctors appointment. Hooray and all that happy crappy*.

*That’s a Stephen King reference, from too many books to count. I think. Maybe he only used it in one book and I just read that book more than once. Who knows.

Still Quiet

Lunch time post. There are a few more people here than there were the last time I posted. One other member of my group is here too but we don’t sit anywhere near each other. If we yell we can talk to each other, but we’re not being rude like that. I feel a lot more Covid-safe than I did the last two times I was here, and by no means did I feel Covid-unsafe before. Whatevs.

I have vacation time booked for the next two days. There are things going on that I want to take care of, but right now I am so looking forward to what amounts to a mid-week weekend. I have a doctors appointment but I don’t know when. They sent me Zoom meeting invites for both days. They are closed today for the holiday (Presidents Day) so I have to figure it out first thing tomorrow. We also have an electrician coming for another kitchen/dining room fix quote. I am really nervous that the doctors appointment was actually moved to tomorrow (I booked it for Wednesday and no one asked me to change it) and it’s going to happen while our power is off and internet is down. That would suck. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that.

The Bruins are celebrating Presidents day with an afternoon match up with the overpowering Colorado Avalanche. It’s halfway through the second period and the Bruins are up 2-0. The next couple of games are on the West coast. A win today could be a nice little treat considering I won’t be able to listen to the West games.

Okay, back at it. Three hours and three minutes to go.

Bio-Break Blues

One thing I’ve read* about drinking soda is that it dehydrates you. I’m pretty sure it’s the Carbon Dioxide in the carbonation that does it, but caffeine might play a role too. I could Google that but I’m lazy. The effect of drinking lots of soda all day long is that you are drying your insides out. Sort of.

So what happens when you stop drinking soda? I suppose that all depends on what you replace it with. In my case, I have replaced it with water. So what happens when you stop drinking soda all day and start drinking water all day?

Well… you don’t get dehydrated, right? Okay, so what does that mean? It means a lot of things, none of which I know anything about what with me knowing dick about biology. One thing I do have a lot of knowledge about is… well… it’s embarrassing and well into TMI territory but…

…I am peeing all the time. I am living in Urination Nation right now. I’m really lucky that there is a bathroom attached to the room I spend all day working in because I only have to take about 8 steps and I’m ready to go. I am most definitely not taking the piss when I say that every five minutes I am taking a piss. It feels like every time I manage to drain the main vein it is full again within 20-30 minutes.

The math seems to work out: Drink water all day = Taking a leak all day. Even Geordi La Forge would understand that**.

*Maybe if I had proof read this post I would have noticed that there was a typo on the fourth effin’ word. I fixed it, but come on, Robert.

**Remember that scene from Star Trek First Contact when Zephram Cochran has to explain to Geordi what taking a leak means and Geordi thinks it’s the funniest thing he’s heard in years?

Distilled Water Watch

Last month I decided to use this here ol’ bloggerino to keep track of how long a gallon jug of distilled water lasts through regular CPAP machine use.

The first bottle lasted 18 days. I just emptied the second bottle. Care to guess how long it lasted?

18 days. Woah! Sounds like a trend!

Dude, I should make a spreadsheet!

YES!

Surgery: Chosen

I’m home from meeting the doctor who will hopefully be chopping up my innards. The meeting went well as far as I can tell (rhyme!). She talked over the two bariatric surgery options including the pros and cons and I decided which one I want to have. I’ll probably tell ya’ll which one at some point. More likely there will be some future post where I mention it as if you all know what it is already. As if all of you millions of readers hang on every word, right? I’m totally not talking to myself here… crickets… well, talking to myself and a slew of spam accounts… crickets…

Next week I have a Zoom call with the Dietician. I am dreading that one because that’s when I expect to be told all of the delicious and wonderful things I will never be able to eat again. We all know it’s coming. Caffeine and carbonation were just the tip of the banned iceberg. I’m ready for it though. I won’t like it, but it will absolutely be worth it in the end. Don’t forget, in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make. So there. Suck on that, diet pepsi.

Now what do you say I go cook some dinner for my Valentine? Let’s do that.

Absent Minded Putz

I have a notebook I’m using for jotting down everything that comes up at these weight loss appointments.

I’m at the appointment, patiently waiting to meet the doctor.

Where is my notebook? Why it’s sitting on my desk at home. Where else would it be?

I’m such a putz.