Category: health

Two Cat Household

Nothing new with my mother. She’s in a dedicated hospice facility and the room is 1000000 times better than her room at Lawrence General. Her breathing is rough. She doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, but it is super tough to listen too.

In other news, we have two cats now.

Robin:

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Lily:

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Here we see both of them in the same image. What were they doing? They were watching The Bachelor. I mean their eyes were glued to the screen. It was a little unsettling.

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Coming to the End

I got about an hour of sleep last night after work but before I went over to the hospital. I got maybe 20 minutes of sleep overnight as I was taking the night shift of staying with my mother. When I got home I got maybe another hour of sleep. I punched in to work a little before 1:00 and was almost immediately told that my mother’s doctor is saying she’s coming to the end of the line. He expects that she will go either tonight or tomorrow.

Jen and I are going to go over once we get out of work, which for me is in just a few minutes (I’m leaving early) and for her was still up in the air, but won’t be too long. I am not planning to stay over night again. I just can’t do it. I will be back as soon as I can tomorrow morning though, and I will be available to bring my father back and forth as much as he needs.

The doctor said if we haven’t said our goodbyes yet, we should. I had a moment of clarity from my mother that was all I ever needed. I told her I loved her as I was leaving the ER last Tuesday and she said she loved me too. Given the advanced state of her dementia, that was pretty much the greatest thing that could happen. I am never going to forget that moment. On Friday last week we had another moment where my father and my brother and sister and I were all in the room with her saying goodbye. At that time we all thought the end was upon us and we didn’t realize she was going to hang on for another week… she’s a tough old gal, my mom. I will never forget that moment either.

I will never get a better goodbye than either of those moments. I will hang onto them forever.

Send my mother some happy thoughts tonight, if you would.

Hard Time

I am having a hard time with the state of the universe today. It’s just difficult. Everything. Here are some pics from the gas station this morning on the way to work to try and distract me from all of the shit.

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In happier news, Lily the kitten got out of the room we were hiding her in this morning. We were probably going to let her out today to see how the two cats handled integration. All is well. They have integrated. Robin the mother cat is adorable. Lily the kitten is adorable times 10.

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I am going to go take a nap. I’m the overnight shift tonight.

Week 39 Weigh In

After last week’s huge weekly loss I was expecting to be up a little this week in a sort of universe-correcting-itself way. Nope. I am down. I’m not down a lot, but that’s sort of a universe correcting itself thing too. Last week I was 227.8. This week I am 226.8. A difference of one, beautiful, glorious pound. I will take it. A small loss is better than even the tiniest of gains, right?

My BMI went from 27.7 to 27.6. My weight lost since the surgery is now 204.6. My weight lost since the first weigh in is now 225.2. None of those numbers are milestones, but I have to say that for some reason that 225 looks like a really happy thing. I can live with that.

Given the chaos surrounding my mother’s situation right now I am not sure if I am going to be eating terribly healthy over the next few days at least. That could lead to a gain next week due to overdoing it, or another huge loss due to seriously under doing it. We’re going to have to wait and see.

Until then, I am going to enjoy this week’s single pound while it lasts.

No News

I was able to get about 7.5 hours of sleep last night and that was very much needed. I didn’t get any news about mom overnight. My sister was there last night. I think my next overnight is tomorrow. My brother, Jen, and I got to meet with the doctor yesterday afternoon and he reiterated to us that every patient in this situation is different, so we don’t really have any signs to point to that will tell us how things are progressing. She’s in Care Measures Only, or Hospice right now so it’s just a waiting game.

I just heard from my sister that, as I suspected by the lack of text messages, overnight was quiet. We will see how things go today. I am going to try and work through the morning. We will see how that goes too. Hopefully I’ll be able to get Dad to see her again today. He isn’t able to stay for long, but I hope we can get him as much time with her as we can.

Overnight

Jen and I spent the night in mom’s hospital room. We both slept a little but not too much. There was no real change in mom’s condition other than she actually seems to have fallen asleep, and that has slowed down her breathing rate.

My sister is planning on getting here around 8:00. We will go home when she gets here, check in briefly with work, check on our pair of cats who don’t like each other very much, and then sleep for a while before heading back to the hospital.

What’s Going On

My mother went to the emergency room on Tuesday morning because the staff at her nursing home felt she was behaving oddly. After a few hours they came back with a surprising and alarming diagnosis, pneumonia. She was admitted on Tuesday morning.

On Thursday night my father and brother were talking and my father said what we were all thinking. Enough. It’s time to start looking at this from a quality of life standpoint and think that we need to just do what we can to make her comfortable. They started talking about hospice care. On Friday morning I went over to my father’s place and we continued the conversation. We’re all on the same page. It’s time to start looking into hospice.

My brother is my mother’s healthcare proxy so he tried getting the ball rolling with the hospital. I was taking my turn staying with my mother and I tried to do what little I could to get the case manager and my brother on the phone with each other. It worked, but it sort of didn’t matter. After they talked, the doctor called him and blew what little planning we had in place to bits and pieces. The pneumonia was likely the result of her being unable to swallow food anymore. They took her off solid food and oral medications. He didn’t say that this was it, but he hinted strongly that this was it. He didn’t tell us to get to the hospital immediately, but he did say he was arranging for a priest to give the last rights.

Obviously we all raced to the hospital. We all broke down and came unglued and balled our eyes out as the reality of the situation hit us. We have no idea how much time she has left, but it isn’t much. Her nurse at the time suggested CMO care, which stands for Comfort Measures Only. Sort of like hospice on steroids, maybe? We agreed to that, while still waiting on the hospice evaluation which was planned tentatively for today, Saturday. She was moved to a private room so that we wouldn’t have to worry about a roommate. We don’t want her to be alone at the end. Her mother was terrified of that when her time came and we want to avoid it for her too. My sister stayed until a little before 5:00am, then my brother took a shift, and then I came on at noon. Jen was with me last night and she came with me today. There were a lot of family visitors too and we were only alone with her for a short time.

At this point she is on a couple of medications that she’s taking IV, but that’s it. Her breathing is difficult but keeping her comfortable is the goal. We don’t know what’s coming next, but we’re preparing ourselves for anything at this point.

And that is what is going on. Jen and I are home to get some dinner but will be going back soon. I am going to try to bring my father back tomorrow. My sister in law got him there today. I want him to get as much time with her as possible.

This is completely awful.