Daily writing prompt

Have you ever broken a bone?

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I’ve broken a bunch of bones in my time. Only one as an adult. Let’s see if I can remember them all.

• When I was in first grade I broke my first bone. We were sledding on Munster’s Hill in Tewksbury, MA. Don’t look for it, it doesn’t exist anymore. I was on a circular sled thing and bombing down the epic slope. I hit a bump and grabbed some air. The sled spun off to one side (I think it turned left, but it was 1977 or so, so who knows) and I kept going straight. I landed on my right shoulder and broke my collarbone. I had to wear a brace for three weeks.
• The second broken bone incident happened when I was in seventh grade. This will put us in or around 1983 or so. I was in the driveway in front of the Tewksbury Junior High School, which is now called the Griffin Middle School, I think. If the weather was nice we could step outside in front of the school for the last few minutes of our lunch period. There were a few of us killing time together. As were we being herded back inside a girl in our group whose name escapes me at the moment was walking in front of me. For some reason she stopped short and elbowed backwards. Someone must have said something stupid or something. It might even have been me, but I doubt it because I would have been utterly terrified to talk to a girl, even if she was a friend. I put up my right hand to block her elbow and she caught it just right. A bone in my right pinky finger’s knuckle broke. The doctor said it was on the growth plate, whatever that means, so there was some question whether or not my finger would have trouble growing as puberty took over, but it all worked out fine. I had to wear a splint for a few weeks.
• Fast forward to eighth grade and we’re in gym class. We were outside behind the Junior High School and the class was playing football. I was tossing a ball back and forth with someone else, I don’t remember who, and because I suck so badly at all things football I caught the ball funny and broke a bone in my left ring finger. After the previous year’s experience I knew exactly what happened the instant it happened. I walked over to the gym teacher and told him I needed to go to the nurse because my finger was broken. This one also required a few weeks in a splint.
• This is the last one and it’s embarrassing because I am a stupid idiot. It was 1997 or 1998 or so. I was an adult which is part of why this is so embarrassing. I was in the kitchen at my parents’ house in Tewksbury. I was going to make a tuna fish sandwich for lunch. I don’t remember what else was going on, but I was definitely having a bad day and was super stressed out over something. I was back in college by then and was probably worked up over a test or something. I opened up the can of tuna and stood over the sink to drain the water. I pushed down on the cover to squeeze out the water and some of it splashed up onto my shirt. It was the idiotic straw that broke the camel’s idiotic back. I threw a very brief temper tantrum. I turned around and punched the wall. What a douchebag. I broke a bone in my right hand just above the wrist. Moron. I didn’t have health insurance at the time so I went to a walk in clinic where the doctor laughed at my stupidity and put me into a cast. Like I said, moron.

And there you have it, folks. My personal broken bones history. Normally I wouldn’t share my personal medical history, but given how often I write about my weight loss surgery I would say that no one is getting anything out of this crap that is any worse for sharing than any of that stuff, right?

The moral of the story is… keep your temper under control and don’t be stupid and punch walls. Don’t be an idiot, like me.