The Boston Penguins? The Pittsburgh Red Sox?

I’m a little conflicted about this one even though it makes zero difference to the universe from my perspective, and also because it’s not actually close to happening. But…

The Fenway Sports Group, the company that owns the Boston Red Sox, is in talks to purchase the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Does this matter? No, no it doesn’t. I have no problem rooting for this company’s baseball team while rooting against their hockey team. None at all. The only things I would ask are that they change the name of the Penguins arena back to The Igloo because, let’s face it, that name pretty much rules. Second, once the seven year grace period mentioned in the article is over, MOVE THEIR ASSES TO BOSTON. If not Boston then maybe Hartford. I hate the Penguins with a passion. I don’t hate them as much as I hate the Canadiens or the Rangers, but I hate them. Still, if New York can have two teams, the Rangers and the Islanders (three if you count the Devils next door in New Jersey. I hate the Islanders too, and I also hate the Devils. I hear Jesus hates the Devils** too) then why the hell can’t Boston support two teams? Granted, New York is about 10031503135 times bigger than Boston, but anything those creeps can do, we can do better. Blah! Suck it, New York! Burn!

If you can’t move the Penguins to Boston, then move them to Hartford. For a couple of reasons. One, brass bonanza. Two, it would be fun to watch the Civic Center roof collapse on the Penguins. Three, as much as I hate them, I do sort of missing having The Whale right next door.

According to the article, there is a deal on the table but the Fenway Sports Group needs to approve it, and then the NHL also needs to approve it. I would guess that those two steps mean that any potential sale is still a long way off, and again it won’t effect us at all. Still… maybe it would be weird to actively root against the folks who own the Red Sox. That’s not going to stop me from happily doing it though. Go Bruins. Bite me, Penguins.

*’s post editor keeps saying that I am successfully adding a link to that line of text, but every time I click publish and then click the link it opens to a blank page.

**Back in the days when my brother and sister and I were buying 10 game partial season ticket packages for the Boston Bruins we went to a game against the New Jersey Devils. There was a guy sitting up in the balcony near us who was chanting, at the top of this voice, “Jesus hates the Devils” and that guy, whoever and where ever he may be, gets an A+ in life.

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