Birthday Cake Blues

I shared a picture of Bellana’s birthday cake yesterday. I bought it at the supermarket a couple of days ago. It’s huge and chocolate and it looks delicious and wonderful and I can’t have any. Well, if I wanted to trigger a round of dumping syndrome I could have some, but I absolutely do not want that to happen so I won’t be having any.

I really want some. Not in the same way that I used to want cake prior to the Gastric Bypass surgery. Back then I would have drooled for a while as I fought the urge to eat half of the cake in one bite and then I would eat half of the cake in one bite. Now I just look at it longingly and then forget it’s there for a while. The next time I find myself in the kitchen I’ll go through it all again.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again… this is a weird new universe we’re living in.

I’m Pretty Sore Today

Yesterday was a tough one physically mostly, but also mentally.

I am not going into a lot of detail here, but the back story is this. Last September my parents moved from their house in Tewksbury to an assisted living space in Billerica. Over the course of the next eight months my mother’s dementia grew steadily worse to the point where she was getting up in the middle of the night and falling down. On May 9th she had a fall and was taken to Lowell General Hospital. The assisted living space said they could no longer handle assisting her living so the hospital started working toward finding a new place for her. She was moved into a nursing facility in Andover and she’s living there now. That means that my parents, who are days away from their 55th wedding anniversary, are no longer able to live together. It’s crushing to say the least. My father was still in the same room at the assisted living place, but that room was in the memory care unit, which he does not require. So yesterday we moved him to a new room, one that is not in the locked down memory unit.

We had movers pick up a piece of furniture at the house in Tewksbury and take it to Billerica. They then moved everything from the memory wing in the basement to Dad’s new room on the first floor, then they took some of mom’s things back to Tewksbury. I bounced from place to place with them and helped out a little. Mostly just by punching in the door lock codes getting in and out of the memory wing.

After the movers were done (huge, huge thanks to them) I went back to Dad’s new room and helped unpack. My sister and my two nephews were there too. We had everything wrapped up by about 2:00 with one glaring exception. Dad sleeps on a rented hospital bed. The company that rents the bed handles moving it from place to place. They initially said they would be there to move the bed at 2:09. Then 2:48. Then 3:30. I had to leave before they got there. I’ll tell you why right now.

We had broken for lunch at around noon. Dad went to the cafe, My sister and the kids went to Wendy’s, and I stayed in the room waiting for maintenance to fix something in the bathroom and switch on the Cable TV. I started eating my little four ounce of chicken lunch but kept getting interrupted. In the end it took me about two hours to get through it and I spent a lot of time taking a bite, then unpacking something for a few minutes, then going back for another bite. I don’t know if my bites were too big, or if it was something to do with being active mid-meal, but I found myself getting pretty nauseous. I pushed through it, but I was feeling pretty bad.

Later, during the time we were done with everything but the waiting for the bed I started feeling sicker. I think it was due to lack of protein? Maybe? Lack of food? Something? I only had a protein shake for breakfast so I hadn’t eaten much. I was just feeling sick to my stomach again and weak and I was getting on toward being nervous about driving. I had to leave and go get something to eat. Once I was home with food in me I felt better. I feel bad about bailing, but at least now I have another couple of food experiences to keep an eye on.

So stomach wise, things are good today. Thankfully. Dad wise, he’s in his new place. He’s miserable about being separated from Mom, but otherwise he seemed okay yesterday. It’s possible he was just putting on a brave face for two of his kids and two of his grandkids, but he did seem okay. Here’s hoping he still feels okay today.

The hang up for me, personally, at this point is pain. I more or less was on my feet yesterday from 7:00am to 3:00pm. It was rough for Mr. Out of Shape here. Sure, I have a lot more energy and stuff since losing 100 pounds in the last seven months (WOOHOO!), but I am still really fat and out of shape and that was a lot of work yesterday.

Then to make things work, I still did my 30 minutes of walking. It was after dinner when I was all settled and feeling better. Jen and I were in the living room watching the tube and I got up and started walking. My Activity App credited me for 18 minutes of exercise during the day, but I have a streak of doing 30 minute walks going (I don’t actually remember when the streak started so I can’t tell you how long it’s lasted) and I didn’t want to ruin it. So I started walking. 30 minutes later I was a mess, but happy. Today I got up as usual and did another 30 minutes before work and now my legs are going to fall off. Poof, no legs. Figuratively at least.

Here’s hoping the pain lessens as the day goes on, but we will have to see.

Ouch, babie. Ouch.

Weigh In

Happy 10 weeks since surgery day! How are we feeling, good? Are we excited for today’s weigh in? I sure am!

I lost 3.8 pounds in the last week. That’s down quite a bit from the pace I had been on over the last month, but it’s still triumphant. I was kinda hoping I’d get to 4.9 as that would change the 10’s column in my total weight, but I’ll take this and I’ll tell you why…

My weight loss since the surgery date has flipped into the 80’s. Barely. I have lost 80.4 pounds since the last pre-surgery weigh in. Amazing.

Even better, my weight loss since the first check in has increased to triple digits, babie! I am in the hundreds and it feels amazing! 101 pounds, to be exact. I can’t freakin’ believe it! Amazing!

The only thing that even hints of a negative here is that my weight is so close to dropping in the 10’s column that I am probably not going to be able to stop myself from stepping on the scale before next Wednesday. I know that sounds silly and all, but I’m trying to be disciplined here and I can see a small failure in my future… probably Friday or Saturday. We’ll see.

Happy 100 pound day! WOOHOOO!!!

Where’s My Film?

Hey CVS… 13 days… where’s my roll of film, bro?

I posted on an analog photography Reddit forum the other day asking for suggestions for film labs that operate online. Meaning, I ship my film to them, they develop it and send me scans of the images, or send scans and ship back prints (if I pay a little extra).

I book marked a few sites and made accounts at some of them. One had a page dedicated to expired film. There 30+ year old example was super dark. That’s what I expect the first of the two rolls at CVS to look like. My zeroth roll, if you will. The second roll and all that follow should be okay. I don’t really care about that. I just want to see some results. I want to know that the camera and the light meter and all of the stuff work.

I also spent some time recently looking for camera clubs to join. There’s one based in Andover that would be fun to check out but they are shut down for the summer. Thanks a bunch. There are some others in the general Eastern Massachusetts area, but they are kinda far away. Oh well.

My last research topic was free online photography classes. I found one through the Harvard Extension School! Awesome! I tried to sign up for it but when I clicked the “start class” button the link was broken. Sonofabitch! I’ll try again later. No biggie.


Unrelated note: Dinner tonight was 4.2 ounces of deli roast beef. It was delicious. When I was done I set a timer for one hour so that I could know when I would be clear to drink water again. 40 minutes later I changed my mind and went looking for a couple of ounces of grapes. I ended up with 2.5 ounces. Want to know how much that is in practical terms? It was 11 grapes. My dessert tonight is 11 grapes. This is a pretty goofy looking new world, ain’t it?

T-Shirts

I did something silly yesterday that I wasn’t going to write about but now feel like I want to share.

I have a drawer in my dresser where I stash t-shirts that used to fit me but don’t anymore, but I don’t want to get rid of for whatever reason. Yesterday, for the first time since the Gastric Bypass, I opened that drawer. There are shirts in there that were gifts that never really fit right and are basically new. There are shirts in there that date back forever including Rush tour t-shirts from 2004 and 2007.

I tried a few of them on. Some fit okay. Miraculously. Some still have a little ways to go. In true nerd fashion I walked over to Jen’s office to show off and get opinions on how things looked.

I am guessing I will need to buy a couple of work-appropriate collared shirts soon, but for casualwear (hehe) I might be all set.

I feel silly and weird and I am kind of enjoying it.

Relief

I was waiting on an insurance claim for my leave of absence from work in May. I expected it to be a formality that would be wrapped up in no time at all. I was wrong. I was stressing out over the open case the whole time and when I say I was stressing out… it was really stressful, you know?

I’ve been waiting for about a week now for the final document to come in the mail. Every day I was running up stairs and checking the mail box and every day I was left disappointed.

Until today.

I am so relieved. I am so happy that it’s all over. What an ordeal. Here’s hoping I never have to do anything like that again. At least if I do, I’ll know what to expect ahead of time. I won’t be this naïve again.

Sigh
of
Relief

Hungry

This is a new one for me in this new post-gastric bypass world. I had 5.4 ounces of salmon for dinner. Jen made it. She used the air fryer. It was perfect. Five ounces is generally my max for a meal. Today I chased the salmon with a little 3.5 ounce cup of sugar free pudding. That’s 8.9 ounces of food. That in and of itself is unheard of, post-op, but it gets worse, and the worse is what I am actually writing about…

I’m still hungry.

No, n-n-n-n-no. This will not do. My new stomach pouch is tiny. Five ounces should be enough. I don’t want more. I don’t need more. Why the hell is my brain screwing with me and telling me that I am hungry? My daily protein goal is 60 grams. I broke 100 today (barely). Why am I feeling anything other than pleasantly full?

Stupid brain. Stupid, stupid brain.

Lunch Break Flake

I had two ideas for things to do on my lunch break today. I am not going to do either one.

  • Thrift shopping for manual film SLRs on the cheap
    • The Salvation Army store in Salem, NH is apparently only open M-F 10am to 5pm meaning I will never be able to get there unless it’s on my lunch break
  • Take one of the cameras (probably the digital) out into the woods behind the house to check out a couple of huge fallen trees. Nature photography, babie. Yeah!
    • I think the main reason I am not outside right now is ticks. I would have to put on longer, heavier socks and maybe boots and shit like that and I just don’t wanna.

Instead of doing those two things I am sitting at my desk typing this here message to you, the universe.

I’m actually struggling with lunch today. I don’t know what I want. For the first time since before the surgery I am kinda tired of the handful of mini-meals I’ve been eating. I wasn’t in the mood for any of the usual suspects. Chicken, Tuna, Eggs… nothing. I made myself 3.9 ounces of chicken salad but I really don’t want it. I am just eating it to get the protein.

What do I want? Who am I?

Unrelated note: I read that CVS takes 7-10 days to develop your film and return it to you. Today is day 11 since I dropped off the first roll. One YouTube video on beginning film photography said it takes two weeks. Is the YouTube video more accurate than the store? Stay tuned and find out. Or, CVS can just give me my friggin’ pics.

ADDENDUM: Screw it, I thought. I am going to check out that spot in the woods. I grabbed my camera and opened up the bulkhead (which is right next to my desk), and saw that our next door neighbor was hitting golf balls into the woods, as he sometimes does. Shit. A 10 minute photo-op is not worth getting beaned in the noggin’ with a golf ball. Maybe tomorrow. Ticks be damned.

Weigh In Day

As of today I am nine weeks post weight loss surgery. That means today is weigh in day. How’d it go? It went really well. I lost seven pounds in the last week. That’s a pound a day, on average, if you’re keeping track. File under: Holy Shit Burgers.

The 10’s column in my current weight changed again. That is such a magical sight. Last week the 10’s column was a six. Today it’s a five. Brilliant.

Now I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but over the last five weeks I have averaged about 5.5 pounds lost each week. If I do that again next week, my total weight loss since the first check in on January 19th will top 100 pounds. Again, I am not getting ahead of myself. That is just some intellectual thing that the analytical part of my brain sussed out. It is not me getting excited or looking ahead or getting over confident or any of that crap. It’s just a number.

However, if that happens next week… there may be a marching band roaring up and down my street all day. Just saying.

  • Weight Loss Since (a few days before) the Surgery: 76.6 pounds
  • Weight Loss Since the First Check In: 97.2 pounds

Holy shit, dudes. Holy. Shit.

Two Months

Today marks two months since surgery. I didn’t weigh myself to celebrate. I thought about it but decided to keep my Wednesday rule and wait two days.

I feel great. The only issue I have is scheduling liquids. A couple times a day I find the dehydration taking over. There was one time when I was visiting mom that it was bad enough to make me a little light headed. Another time, also during a mom visit (pattern?), my mouth was so dry I couldn’t form some words.

Other than that, it’s been aces. The weight is falling off and I haven’t felt this healthy in over a decade. I have millions of miles to go, but so far it’s all good.

So looking forward to whatever comes next.