The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 50

I had Friday off last week for the holiday.

My wife took Monday through Wednesday off this week to make the 4th of July into a super long weekend. I couldn’t do it. I had meetings I needed to go to on both Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday though…

I took Wednesday (tomorrow) off.

These two events have confirmed something that I think I knew all along but was trying to avoid acknowledging…..

I need a vacation.

I need to go away.

I need to pack up the Mrs and the Step Kids and go find a mountain or something. I want to go to New York and have an adventure. I want to go into Boston and hear some live music. I want to go to Faneuil Hall and surf through the massive crowd. I wanna ride a god damn duck boat.

I miss everything right now. I miss people. I am a total introvert and I miss people. What the hell?

We’re coming up on Four Months. Four Months.

Please don’t think I’m going into quarantine fatigue. I’m not going to start being stupid like all those fucking meat heads going out to parties and bars and restaurants without wearing god damned masks. I’m not an asshole and I’m not stupid and I don’t have a death wish for myself of for those around me.

I just want to go out.


The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 49

Today’s stir crazy file actually happened yesterday. Something was said or done or whatever and I thought, that’s episode #49 right there!

10 minutes later I had completely forgotten it.

If that’s not a Stir Crazy File, I don’t know what is.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 47

This one is more of a pissed off rant than a stir crazy observation. I’m a little pissed and I need to vent.

We are signed up for an exterminator service. Our house is in the woods and there are bugs everywhere. We get ants (YOU WANT ANTS? ‘CAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU GET ANTS!*), we get bees, we get ticks, we get spiders. It’s wild freakin’ kingdom.

Once a month I get an email, a text, and a phone call all within a few minutes of each other saying that they are coming on such and such a day and please leave your gates open so they can access your property and whatever.

Last month when the service day came I had the windows open in the bedroom. The technician knocked on the door to ask me to close them. When I opened the door I was really surprised to see that he wasn’t wearing a mask. I didn’t have one handy so I stood as far back from the door as I could, but it is my house and I’m inside. It should not be on me to wear a mask, it should be on him. I get an email after each appointment where I have an opportunity to rate their service. I let them know how upset I was that their representative failed to wear a mask when he stood on my door step.

This morning was the first appointment we’ve had since I gave them a bad review. Just after I punched in to work the doorbell rang. What the hell? No open windows today. This time I put on a mask before I opened the door. There was a technician standing on my step. It was a different guy, but he too was maskless. Why did he ring the doorbell? To tell us he was here, and to introduce himself. Without a mask.

What. The. Fuck?

The Commonwealth of Massachusetts’ guidelines state that you should wear a mask when out in public. That guideline has been in place FOR MONTHS. What the hell kind of business allows their representatives to show up to a customer’s house without a fucking mask on his fucking face? How?

I don’t give a shit if you think COVID-19 and Coronavirus are a joke. I don’t care. I don’t think they are a joke. I take them very seriously. Very Seriously. That’s what matters. If you want to keep my business then you will at least give lip service to MY safety and PUT A FUCKING MASK ON YOUR FUCKING FACE.

I sent another bad review. Much worse than the last one. If I get any response less than an offer to orally service me, then I am cancelling my account with them.

I started this post in the hope that venting would make me feel better. It didn’t work. It’s had the exact opposite effect. Wear a fucking mask.

*If you’ve never watched the show Archer, go watch the show Archer. Now.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 46

Not so much a stir crazy thing, more of a crazy quarantine related factoid.

I can’t remember the exact dates, but I think I have them. On or about Wednesday March 11, 2020 I filled the gas tank in our Mazda. My memory is less clear on this, but it was either Saturday March 7, 2020 or Saturday March 14, 2020 that I filled the gas tank in our Kia.

Fast forward to Monday June 8, 2020. I filled the gas tank in the Kia. We were down to 3/16th of a tank so it was time.

There were no other fill ups for either car in the the intervening time. The Mazda still has half a tank left from the March 11th fill up.

My commute from home to the office is about 33 miles or so and usually takes an hour and a half (on average, I think) each way. My wife’s commute is less than that but she often spends an hour each way. The very concept of going three months on a single tank of gas is so far out of the realm of possibility that my mind is having a hard time processing it. I would normally go through a tank every four days in the Mazda. The Kia is a hybrid. The tank is only about 9-10 gallons, but it could usually go 5-6 days without a fill up.

The Kia went three months and the Mazda is three months and counting.

I simply cannot get over it.

Mind = Blown.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 45

I’ve probably written this exact post before, but I’m too lazy to look back and check.

My eyes. My eyes are getting really tired, really fast these days. By 3:00 or so on more days than not my vision is a blurry mess. It’s not so bad that I can’t deal with it, but it’s just a major pain.

I need to have my eyes checked. I need a new set of prescription glasses. I need one set of glasses for general use, one set of glasses for reading so I can start reading actual books again (because reading with the progressive lenses is about as much fun as getting kicked in the nards), and I need a set of sun glasses too.

Of course we know that’s not happening because of COVID-19. No way I’m going to put myself in a situation where a couple of different people are going to have to get right up close to my face to check out my eyes. Mask or no mask, it’s not worth it. If it keeps getting worse there might be a point where reward starts to outweigh risk, but until then? Screw that. I’m not risking bringing the plague into my house. No, no, and no.


The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 44

I think I did the math right (the math involved counting) which means 12 weeks ago today was the last day I spent in the office. More math: (12/52)*100 = the percentage of the year that has been spent in quarantinish. What’s the value? Why, 23%. We’ve been in social distance lock down for almost a quarter of the year. Yippee!

Patches, my cat, is standing firm on her belief that my desk is her desk. I have two desks right now and she has made this declaration about both of them. She’s sitting on my desk as I type this, and if I stop typing for a second she’ll sit on the keyboard. She’s staring at my hands, willing them to get the hell out of the way so she can sit down.

Correction, she just moved from my left side to my right side and sat on my track pad. Cat!

Over the last few days I have found very few moments where something goofy happened that could be blamed on the lock down. It’s basically normal life now. Our society is dissolving all around us, but being locked in the house is no longer a symptom, it’s just the way things are. That’s kinda sad.

It’s Friday though. I’m about nine hours shy of the weekend. I can make it… I think. It’s been almost a month since my beloved bride cut my hair. She told me she wants to give it another shot this weekend. I’m game. Let’s do it.

I think I am going to go punch into work now. I have to move to the other desk so I don’t drive my love nuts as she works. I’m guessing the cat will invade my space (her space) soon after I get there.

23% of the year down… still going. Have a good one, everyone. There will likely be cat pics later.

Good day.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 43

See look, he’s posting as normal. There’s nothing wrong. Society didn’t end last night when the so called president ordered troops onto the streets of Washington in order to put down constitutionally protected rights. No, there’s nothing wrong.

I just changed the cat’s litter box. I dumped it all into a garbage bag and took it out to the trash. I enjoy one aspect of this process. Since the squirrels in our yard gnaw holes in the barrel covers so that they can climb inside and eat our trash, when I put the contents of the litter box into the barrel I am literally telling the squirrels to eat shit.

See? Nothing wrong. Life just going on as it was before the fascists ordered armed troops onto the streets of the nation’s capital. No problem.