The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 14

I took out the garbage.  When I came back in the house my beautiful bride, Jennifer, was standing in front of the cabinet in which we keep our box of garbage bags.  I said she needed to take a step to the left….

I then proceeded to pull the entire chorus of Do The Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show out of my teeny, tiny, little brain.  Now, I’ve never been much of a Rocky Horror guy.  I saw the movie.  It was goofy but okay.  I would guess I’ve heard the song Time Warp maybe… three times in my life?

And there it was… the whole chorus… spewing out of my idiot, stir crazy head.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 11

I’ve been holding this one back for a while but it’s been an issue since day one.

I’m looking at the calendar trying to remember which day this started.  I think it was the first day that Jen’s company sent everyone home.  March 11th?  I think?  It might have been the 13th but I’m not sure.  Let’s go with that, Friday the 13th.  It has a nice ring to it.

Everything was still open but the signs were showing that everything was about to shut down.  Before I left for work I told Jen I was planning on making a couple of stops on the way home.  As it turned out I didn’t make any of them.  Everyone was worried, everyone was starting to react.  I decided I would not add any extraneous contact with the outside world and instead of running my errands I went straight home to be with my family.

One of the errands on my list that night was a haircut.  I was already a few weeks past needing one.  It was getting shaggy and it was starting to bug me a little.  Just a little.  I was actually trying to be proactive and get it done a little earlier than I usually do.  I didn’t go through with it though.

Now it’s April 2nd.  Sweet Christmas, does Roberto need to get himself a haircut.  Two words: Cousin Effing It.  It’s long enough in the front that when I get out of the shower I can’t see.  I’m not kidding about the Cousin It.  I don’t just feel like him, I look like him.  It’s beyond rigoddammeddiculous at this point.

I can honestly say that I spent a couple of minutes on ebay searching for Flowbees in a non-ironic fashion.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 8

Last night I had a really bad night’s sleep.  I slept a decent length of time, but I was more exhausted when I woke up than when I went to bed.  Yesterday was the same.  I blame two little events that happened on sleepiness.

Yesterday before work, maybe around 8:00 AM, I was sitting in the office trying to write a melody for one of my March Music RPMarch songs.  I wasn’t getting anywhere and I decided to go and get myself some breakfast.  I got up and walked through the office door.  Somehow I misjudged the spacial relationships (like sum kinda cat with cut off whiskers or something) and I slapped my left elbow against the door.  I got it right on the funny bone.  MuthaPussBucket!

Last night after work I was sitting in the office trying to write lyrics to one of my March Music RPMarch songs.  I wasn’t getting anywhere and I decided to take a break.  I was going to grab some cookies (Nutter Butters, aka Bliss) and watch an episode of The Flash.  On my way back from the kitchen I again misjudged the spacial relationships (like some kinda chump) and I slammed my right elbow against the door.  I got it right on the funny bone.  MuthaPussBucket!

Note: My spell check does not flag MuthaPussBucket as a misspelled word, even though it isn’t even really a word.  One of the times I typed it I misspelled it as MuthaPussPucket and the spell checker flagged it.  Do I use the word MuthaPussBucket so often that the spell checker lets it slide?

To paraphrase my high school principal’s morning announcement sign off, have a happy and healthy day and don’t forget to wash your damn hands.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 7

It’s been a week and a half, can I get used to this already?  Come on, this is stupid.

My normal-life telecommuting day is Thursday.  New episodes of Star Trek Picard come out on Thursdays.

A few minutes ago I was shaving… why?  I don’t know.  As I was shaving I thought to my idiot self, I’m working from home today so there is a new Star Trek Picard to watch before work.  Sweet!


It’s Wednesday.  It’s my eighth consecutive telecommuting day.  Why the hell can’t I stop thinking every single effing day is Thursday?  Brain, would you get on this please?  I’m tired of being disappointed over no new Picard every single solitary day!  Enough already!

And what the hell am I gonna do when Picard is over?  I should have three more weeks of The Walking Dead followed by the premier of the new spin off.  Wrong.  It’s two more weeks and then nothing.  The season finale of The Walking Dead isn’t finished and it won’t be until after this all clears up.  It has been delayed indefinitely.  The new series is also still in post production so they are pushing that off indefinitely too.  Same with (at least some) of the CW DC Comics shows.  The final episodes are being delayed until it’s all over.  Bloody hell!

That’s all right though, our schmuck of a president say’s all of the restrictions will be lifted by Easter.  He said it would be so great to see all of the churches full.  When I heard that I realized what his goal was.  He doesn’t want to be remembered as a nazi.  He wants to be remembered as a great nazi.  Therefore he is going to arrange for the death of millions of Americans.  He’s going to go down in history as the first great mass murderer of the 21st century.  Why should hitler have all the fun, right?

Our president is evil.  He’s going out of his way to demonstrate it each and every day.

Okay, so this goofy post about feeling stir crazy got a little heavy right there.  It’s okay.  It needed to be said.

The Stir Crazy Files – Episode 3

I just finished season two of Star Trek Discovery.

Ever since I became a step father I have found that I often get overly emotional while watching things that never would have touched me before.  I start crying like a little baby at the oddest things.  More often than not it’s during scenes that involve difficult family moments, more often than not involving parents and little kids.

Most of these episodes happen in the obvious places.  The filmmakers push a button and I respond.  The first season of This is Us was utter hell for me.  I shed so many tears it left me dehydrated for months.  The last scene that Ned and Jon have together in like episode two of Game of Thrones.  On first watch it was a nothing moment.  On a re-watch years later it destroyed me.  Military stuff is really hard to get through.  The opening 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan on first watch was spectacular.  On second watch, now as a married man with two step kids, turned me into a gigantic puddle of emotional goo.  Some things effect me in huge ways when they absolutely should not.  The one I can’t get over is from Wonder Woman.  Yeah, Wonder Woman.  The scene where she jumps out of the trench and crosses no man’s land?  I ball my dumb stupid eyes out.  Every time I see it I completely lose my shit.  Why?  It’s a super hero movie for goodness sake.  It’s a Greek Goddess fighting a bunch of normal people.  Why does it wreck me so?

Well… Star Trek Discovery.  It happened again.  There is a goodbye scene in the last episode.  I literally had to turn away to keep my eyes from leaking like a leaky faucet.  Why did this stupid show mess me up like this?  What is it about the world around me that allows me to be effected like this?

Oh yeah… the world around me… that might be it.  I wonder if being at 99% of my maximum allowed stress level for 24 hours a day for over a week might have left me vulnerable to an emotional unglueing?

Yeah… I wonder.

As for the show?  Season one was really good.  Season two… awesome.  Star Trek Picard is a mystery show.  It’s a whodunit, where you’re trying to put the pieces together.  Discovery has elements of that, but it’s basically just an action/adventure/blow shit up kinda thing and it is just sooo good.

Fight the stir crazy, watch Star Trek.  You’ll thank me, even if you do fall apart like a baby near the end of the last episode.