Tag: pumpkin

Gross

Is carving up a pumpkin and making a jack-o-lantern the single grossest thing that we as a society do? No? Is it in the top 10? Yeah, probably.

Why do we do it? Specifically, why do I do it when our kids are old enough to have moved out of the house and we don’t have them here at all during the Halloween season?

I don’t know, but I still do it. Specifically, I just did it. Meet our 2024 jack-o-lantern. I am still thinking of a name for him. Smiley? Jackass? Putz? They all seem appropriate.

My beloved wife and I watched It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown last night. I completely forgot about the scene where Lucy and the girls used Charlie Brown’s big bald head as a template for a jack-o-lantern. Freakin’ hysterical.

Casualty of Halloween

I went grocery shopping tonight. I bought a pumpkin. You bet your sweet Halloween ass that I’m carving the shit out of a jack o lantern this year. That’s not what this story is about though.

I put all of the groceries into the trunk of my car. I made sure to put the pumpkin on one side and the eggs on the other. When I got home and popped the trunk I found that the pumpkin had rolled clear across the car and landed smack on the eggs. There was only one casualty of Halloween war. One egg, pumpkin-pulverized.

Rest in peace, my eggie friend. May the angels lead thee to paradise, or whatever passes for paradise to a chicken fetus.

Also, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is a Christmas movie. 100%. Ho Ho Ho.