Tag: Poetry

Dictionary Edits

Daily writing prompt
If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?
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I don’t have the mental focus to answer this question today. I’ll try, I am just completely out of sorts this morning and I don’t know how to fix myself. Ugh… but I must try so…

One word to remove from the dictionary, as it were. Is maga a word? I don’t need to remove the word, I just need to remove the fascist philosophy, if that’s even what it is rather than just open hate and racism and sexism and general fascism out and proud for all of the world to see.

One word… crud. I can’t think of anything. There are phrases that come to mind. “It is what it is” was used by nazi trump to justify thousands of Covid deaths and therefore has been removed from my usage completely forever. Fuck that fascist fucking fuck.

People misuse the word “myself” all the time and it makes me want to punch them in the eyes. I can’t say I want to remove the word entirely though because some people actually use it correctly.

I would say the word “nucular” needs to be eradicated from existence, but it is not a word. It’s an idiotic stupid mispronunciation of an actual word, nuclear. Pronouncing nuclear as nucular is an IQ test. If you do it, you fucking fail.

I am swearing a lot in this post. Clearly that means the word fuck is not my choice to eliminate. Embrace it.

I really don’t have an answer to this one. Let’s just go with mosquito because maybe if we all stop acknowledging them they’ll just fuck off and leave us alone. Yeah, that’s what I’m going with. Fuck it.

(Non) Daily Haiku for You #139

Today’s haiku for you is undead……

Zombies are hungry,
But feeding them is stressful.
Does my brain taste good?

So I watched an episode of The Walking Dead last night. Season two episode seven, titled Pretty Much Dead Already. That is the episode that changed my opinion on the show from “I think I like this show” to “holy shit I can never miss an episode of this show ever.” To say it’s a good episode is a massive understatement. If you were to say it was one of the best hours of television ever aired then I probably would not 100% agree with you, but I would understand where you are coming from.

I wrote the above haiku during my lunch break today. Watch a great zombie episode on Monday night, write a zombie haiku on Tuesday afternoon. Makes sense, right?

I then thought it would be funny to ask the wordpress.com AI Assistant to “write a haiku about zombies.” Allow me to share the results the AI came up with:

Hungry Zombies Haiku

Zombies are hungry,
But feeding them is stressful.
Does my brain taste good?

Yes, kids. You are reading that correctly. It gave me the same haiku that I just wrote! What the hell, bro? I hadn’t even published it yet! The AI Assistant literally read the document I was working in and stole my haiku! What the fuck?

Okay… I am going to ask for another one. This time I will ask it to “write a different haiku about zombies.” Here’s the result:

Zombies in the night,
Moaning for flesh and delight.
Fear their endless plight.

Oh nice, it rhymes this time. Think it did that as an apology? Neither do I. What a jerk! What an artificially intelligent ass wipe!

I wonder… did the AI Assistant somehow misinterpret my initial request for a haiku as a request to format my current post? Something like that? It added the title. I centered the text myself after the fact. I wonder if it thought I wanted input on the text I had already written. I’m not sure. I did specifically ask for a haiku, but I did not ask for a new haiku. Who knows. The AI is a jerk either way. A plagiarizing, haiku stealing thief of a jerk.

If the second AI haiku was not stolen from me… where did the AI Assistant steal it from? I’m sure it just went to google and spit out the first zombie themed haiku it found.

The Water is Off

21st century life, in a house where the water is shut off while the plumbers install a kick ass tankless water heater.

If it’s yellow, let it mellow
If it’s brown….

Huh.

If it’s brown… hold on, I’ll come up with something.

If it’s brown… hmmmmm

Oh! If it’s brown, Drive in to town!

Just call it what it is: Poetry, babie.

We’re in Hot Water Now

My wife took a shower this morning, no problem.

I shaved, no problem.

I took a shower, the hot water ran out… and never came back. 16 hours later, we still don’t have any hot water. Damn it.

We are trying to get a plumber here tomorrow. It looks like they’ll be able to get here. On the phone they asked me how old is my hot water heater. I laughed. Like I know. They then said they will need the heater’s name, rank, and serial number before they get here so they can know what they are up against.

On an unrelated note, iTunes just failed me. My brother has become a Walking Dead fan. He’s through season 5 via Netflix. I wanted to give him season 6. I bought the season pass so I have everything. I downloaded all 16 episodes, put them on a flash drive, and then tried to open one using someone else’s iTunes account. It wouldn’t play without my password. Damn you digital rights management (or whatever the hell you’re called)! My kid brother needs to see him some Negan! I have failed my family name!