Here Comes the Existential Pain

It’s April 30th. The last day of the month. Normally that’s not a big deal, but this month… this month

April 2021 is the last full month of my forties. There is a day in the month of May… a day that is coming soon… a day that the first digit in my age changes, and that is a bad thing. When it changed from zero to one it was awesome. When it changed from one to two it was also awesome. When it changed from two to three… well that sucked. That sucked bad. When it changed from three to four it was painful but by then the damage was done, and I also had Jen to make me feel better about it.

Four changing to five feels about the same as three to four, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. I’ve got eight days left. Eight days left in my forties, which I didn’t even want in the first place but now that they are ending…

crap.

…….and I just found out my friend’s kid has Covid. The universe is a prick.

50

Today is the day.

Today is the day when the first of my friends from my high school class (Tewksbury High, class of 1989) celebrates his 50th birthday.

Mike the bass player is 50 years old.

Damn, brother. We are OLD!

Happy 50th birthday, Mike.

New Years Already?

I’ve told this story before, I’m sure.

Back in the late 1970’s (or possibly the very early 1980’s) when I was just a little fat guy of less than 10 years of age, George Lucas announced to the world that there would be nine Star Wars movies and that he would release one every three years. My father, the undisputed master of all things math, instantly calculated that the final movie would hit the theaters in 2001. “You’ll be 30 years old,” he told the smaller yet still fat assed version of me, “so you’ll have to take me to see it.”

As someone who was probably between the ages of six and nine years old, the concept of a 30 year old me was a little too big to comprehend, let alone the idea of me taking my father anywhere. It did sort of set a date into my head though. 2001 was something real, not just a movie title. There were a bunch of years that would lead up to it, but once the calendar reached 2001 it would feel like I had arrived at my destination. Anything after 2001 could not possibly exist. It was just fantasy.

Until it happened, that is.

Now we stand here, just a few hours shy of the start of 2014. To that I say, No fricken way! Most people are thinking to themselves, where did 2013 go hahaha? Not me. I’m still thinking, where did 2010 go. And 2007. And 2002. What the hell?

My step son and I were talking the other day about how all kids wish they were adults, and all adults wish they were kids. That might be a slight exaggeration, but it’s not too far off. There is one reason for that adult wish that I never really considered when I was still a kid. The years go by so much faster when you’re older. If I had known that was going to happen I would have fought the changes much harder than I did! It’s like we reached 2001, then I blinked, and then it was 12/31/13! What the bloody hell happened???

Granted, I’ve done some cool stuff over those years. The stretch of time beginning in early April of 2007 through today stands out as particularly wonderful. Still… how can it be 2014? Wasn’t it just New Years Eve a few months ago? Can’t we slow down and smell the roses? Can’t we stop the world because I want to get off? Can’t we do any number of other cliches relating to the speed at which time passes?