Tag: Movie Review

Rebel Moon Part II Recap

Okay, I finished the new Rebel Moon movie. As bad as the first half was (see the post from earlier today), the second half is better. Why? Because with about an hour left in the movie it turns into an unending string of action scenes with almost no dialog. Perfect. It has an obnoxious amount of slow motion, but that’s Zack Snyder for you.

There are a whole bunch of Chekov’s Gun moments. Character A picks up weapon B and dies without using it. 15 minutes later character C is about to die but stumbles on weapon B and uses it to blow shit up. That happens a few times. There is also multiple deus ex machina moments. One of the funniest moments in the movie is where the source of a deus ex machina stands regally and watches a different deus ex machina play out. It’s freakin’ absurd.

Is the movie good? Oh, hells no. Is it as bad as the reviews? Yes. The first half is worse, the second half is just one long, unending battle scene and therefore avoids all of the things that are awful about the first half. It’s still not great, but it’s better. Not enough to save the film from this review though: Terrible.

Will there be another one of these movies? From the story point of view, yes… of course there will. From the standpoint of Netflix and money? Who knows. If people are watching it then probably. If that is the case then you can blame me. Sorry about that.

Unrelated musical note. I finally got around to putting volumes five and six of Quarantine Tunes onto my bandcamp account. Not because I expect anyone to buy it… please don’t buy it… please, it is not worth any money… but so I could add them to my music page here on the ol’ bloggie. I am one mix away from finishing volume seven. I’ll probably post that to bandcamp and the music page as soon as it’s finished.

Rebel Moon II: Atrocious?

I said in a post the other day that I was planning on watching the new Rebel Moon movie (part 2) on Netflix. I was thinking about re-watching the first movie because even though I watched it a short time ago I couldn’t remember anything about it (except for the thing about Daario Naharis doing a scene with Daario Naharis). I figured I’d watch part 1 to refresh my memory and then watch part 2.

Last night, that’s what I did. I watched part 1 again. It’s still bad, but probably not quite as bad as the reviews made it out to be. The dialog is worse than I remembered. It’s really bad. I mean… really bad. The complete and total lack of plot was just as I recalled. The movie isn’t so much terrible as it is just boring.

This morning I have started watching part 2. I am about 45 minutes into it and… oh my goodness, is it terrible. I mean. Atrocious. It’s not like we are expecting much out of Zack Snyder these days but sweet christmas this is ridiculous. I still have about an hour and a quarter to go, so it might improve, but I am not what you would call hopeful.

My favorite part so far is the slow motion, action farming scenes. We watch them harvesting grain in slow motion while super intense, dramatic music plays and I gotta be honest with you all, I laughed out loud at how incredibly stupid it was. Just ridiculous like you’ve never known before. That was briefly topped by the scene of the general filling his water bottle in slow motion. Like… wow. Just… wow. I mean, it’s probably Chekhov’s water bottle, right? It’s got to have some meaning at some point further on in the movie, right? He filled a water bottle in slow motion… that has to have meaning, right?

I’m 48 minutes in now… it can’t get worse, can it? Can it?

Brain Drop

Daily writing prompt
Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.
View all responses

The first thing that comes to my mind? What if it is completely uninteresting? Worse, what if nothing comes to mind? What if my brain is entirely empty? Oh no! That doesn’t leave us with much to discuss. This might be pretty weak as a writing prompt, eh?

Fortunately for me and my tiny old person brain, there was a thought that came to mind as I read the prompt. Unfortunately for you, my readers and only friends* it is nothing interesting. Just before I sat down at my desk and brought up wordpress.com, I had finished my daily exercise. 46 minutes of running (jogging, pronounced “yogging” with a soft J**) in place. The thought that was going through my head at that very moment was…

Holy crap my legs are dead. 46 minutes of jogging (yogging) in place is tough to pull off.

That is it. That was the first thing that came into my sad little brain. I wish it could have been something more interesting and exciting and intellectually stimulating but alas, no. My sincere apologies, friends.

*This is not a movie quote. It’s a paraphrase of a movie quote. A Clockwork Orange. In my teens and early 20’s it was a huge movie for me. When I was a little older I had a friend who had dealt with some bad things when she was young and it changed my perspective on the movie. It was triggering for her, though we didn’t use that term back then, and I saw it in a new light. Once I met Jen and Bellana I suddenly understood her problem with it and felt like even more of a fucking idiot for not having seen it before. The movie includes A LOT of violence against women and girls and now that I had a woman and a girl who were more important to me than anything else in the entire universe I understood that I could never watch that movie again. Now the movie is triggering for me too, in a different way but still pretty painful. Never again. Never ever. I still find myself quoting a few lines now and then because they are so completely burned into my brain, and the language created for the story is pretty unique and amazing. The treatment of the women in the story though… yikes. What the fuck was I thinking when I was a kid? How could I have been so blind and selfish? Never again.

**This is also a paraphrase of a movie quote. Anchorman. This one is something I can watch over and over again. Yeah there is a lot of misogyny in the story, but it literally exists to show how stupid men were toward women back in the 70’s. I mean, 60% of the time it’s accurate every time.

Star Trek Beyond — Mini Review

We went to see the new Star Trek movie tonight. I freakin’ loved it! I think it might have been better than Into Darkness, and I freakin’ loved that one too.

I might be biased though. I have said it before and I’ll say it again…

If Simon Pegg made a movie that consisted of nothing but Simon Pegg sitting on a chair watching paint dry, I would think it was Best Picture Oscar winning awesome. Seriously. I’m sure that at some point in his movie career he made a crap film, but I haven’t seen it… and I would probably love it anyway.

Star Trek Beyond: I approve.