Tag: mouser

Mouse Hunt

I mentioned in a post yesterday that the cats were on a mouse hunt. They were going all kinds of crazy from room to room. Stalking for a while, chasing for a while, pouncing for a while. It was distracting and entertaining. I told Robin the Cat that if she caught the mouse I would give her treats.

Last night before bed I found that their endeavors were successful. There was a very small little mouse on our bedroom floor, dead as a door nail, and two cats up high on the furniture guarding over it. I scooped up the fallen rodent soldier and took it outside. Then I went to the top of the refrigerator and took down the bag of cat treats and gave our mouse hunters their reward. Good work, cats. Thank you for protecting our home. Guard cats.

If I had caught the mouse I would have taken it outside alive, but I knew there was slim chance of that. I was busy working and getting ready for today’s medical thing and I knew the cats were going to get it. This is the first time they have killed a mouse (that I know of) but it was just a matter of time. We live in the woods. Critters are a thing.

Thank you, mousers. Congratulations on a job well done. Also, thank you for leaving it where I could find it and for not offering it up like a present in the middle of the night or anything. Most appreciated. Maybe I’ll give you more treats today.

Mouser Fail

Okay, before you get all judgmental I am going to say that we live in the woods, it’s winter, it’s freezing cold out, and we got a metric tonne of snow last night. All of that combined leads to one unfortunate truth: Little tiny furry critters are going to find their way into our house. It is inevitable. It doesn’t mean we’re leaving food out or any shit like that, it just means our house is warm. That’s all. Get over your shit and just enjoy the stupid little story, m’kay?

I was sitting on the couch in the living room working on some music on my laptop. My wife was at her desk in her office working. The two cats were laying together on top of one of the cat trees. They were asleep, as far as I could tell.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement in the hallway between the living room and my wife’s office. It was a mouse. It was casually strolling around the corner into the living room. It stayed close to the wall and went behind a chair and I lost sight of it. A few seconds later it popped out again and walked calmly right up to the base of the cat tree! Neither cat noticed. They didn’t move a muscle. Way to sleep on the job, felines!

The mouse changed direction and ran into the next room. I followed it but quickly lost sight of it. I made some noise and shifted some furniture around but the little sucker was nowhere to be found. I went back to the couch and got back to work.

About half an hour later or so I saw it in the hallway again. This time it did not come into the living room with me. Instead it changed direction and ran into Jen’s office. I watched as it went right under her desk, literally inches away from her feet! We can’t have that now can we? I went into the room after it and pulled Jen away from her desk. We had the little home invading bastard cornered against the wall but with the desk in the way neither one of us could really reach it.

Eventually it made a dash for the door and left the two slow moving humans in the dust. Straight out the door, across the hallway, through the living room door and straight into Robin the Cat! It was like something out of a Tom and Jerry cartoon. The mouse skidded to a stop, squeaked, “Holy shit!” clearly at the same instant that Robin yelled, “Holy Shit!” back at it, then it turned around and ran back into the office.

We had it cornered again, this time on the other side of the room. We also had two cats taking a keen interest, but again the little shit managed to make a break for the door and leave us all behind. The four of us gave chase, but it lost us all again and eventually we gave up looking for it. Robin is still stalking around the house determined to catch the furry little asshole. Jen and I are both back to what we were doing before. Lily is doing what she does best… sleeping.

If the cats don’t catch it tonight I am probably going to have to put traps out tomorrow. Sorry, mouse.

More Mouse Hunting

I actually feel bad for this little rodent bastard. A little. Not much, but a little.

I got up this morning and walked to the bathroom, ya know like ya do. Both cats were in there just hanging out. That’s odd. Something is up. Lily was just sitting on the floor mat. Robin was investigating something near one of the towel racks. I couldn’t see what she was after. At least not until I looked up. On the shower curtain rod, right in the middle, was a mouse. Just sitting there. Calmly surveying all around him. Oh no you don’t, you home invading fucker!

I had my iPad with me. I used it to swat the mouse off the curtain rod. I hoped the cats would take it from there, but they ran away in abject terror. Chickens. The mouse was a little stunned so I threw the floor mat over it and kicked it against the side of the tub. I would have just stepped on the bastard but I was barefoot and we ain’t going there.

I had the little shit trapped for the moment. Was it dead? Did I kill it when I smooshed the mat against the tub? Hopefully, but doubtful. I had nothing to scoop it up with so I figured I would trap it under the waste basket and figure it out from there. I pulled the mat away and tried to drop the basket down but it was too fast and ran into the corner. We went back and forth behind the toilet a little but I was too slow and it made it out of the room.

It ran into Harry’s room. I had it cornered for a second, but when I reached down to pick up a book off the floor to squash it with it managed to run into Harry’s closet and that was all she wrote.

A few hours went by. Jen and I were both logged into work. Her office is next to the bathroom which is next to Harry’s room. I am in the cellar underneath Harry’s room. I could hear the cats running around above me. Jen could hear the terrified little mouse home invader asshole squeaking. I went upstairs to look and found the cats lounging in the doorway to Harry’s room. Just hanging out. Keeping watch.

A few minutes later Jen asked me to come back. The cats had the little prick cornered in the hallway. This time I was wearing shoes and I was able to kick it against the wall. It wasn’t dead, but it was stunned enough for me to grab a broom and a dustpan and a plastic bag and scoop him up. I put him into the bag, took him outside into the pouring rain, and dropped him into the gopher hole, just like the last one that I caught alive.

I do feel bad about kicking it. Just a tiny bit. Not enough to stop me from doing it again. You invade my home, you furry fuck, you get stepped on. Still. I would have preferred a catch and release kinda thing. This was more like a seriously injure, catch, release, and probably die within 10 minutes as something bigger is going to make a snack out of it. Oh well.

Another good job by the cats. They are skilled mouse hunters, though they don’t appear to be terribly skilled at closing the deal, if you know what I mean. I’ve actually had to put an end to each of their mouse hunts. They haven’t gone beyond the play stage yet. At least not that we know of.

I hate mice.

Three Cheers for the Mouse Hunters

Yesterday, for the second time since we adopted our two cats, Lily and Robin were stalking something. They were spending a lot of time watching underneath the refrigerator. Occasionally they would try to reach under and grab something. There were a couple of times where we could hear something rustling but we didn’t actually see anything.

Last night I woke up at around 3:00am. The cats were freaking out. That’s not terribly unusual as they often get the zoomies over night. This time I could hear some squeaking though. They were hunting and their prey was freaking out. Later, after I finished my exercise and guitar playing, I went into the bedroom and saw them both hovering over something in the attached bathroom. I turned on the light. There was a mouse laying on it’s back. I thought it was dead but it twitched. It was playing dead. I went to get something to pick it up with and while my back was turned it ran for it. The cats chased. I closed the door and let them do their thing.

15 minutes later I opened the door again and the mouse was once again playing dead. I had a broom and a cardboard box on me this time. I swept it into the box and it jumped out. I smacked it with the broom and swept it up again. I took it outside and dropped it on the edge of the woods. It made a run for it. Good riddance, home invader.

Three cheers for the mouse hunters who once again earned their keep and protected their new home! I gave them a handful of treats as a reward for a job well done. Good kitties! Good, good kitties!

Post script: Fuck. I am working in the cellar. A second mouse just poked it’s head out from under the desk drawers next to me. Son of a bitch! Well, we do live in the woods and the weather has been awful for a week now. This is to be expected. Still… asshole mouse.

Mouse Situation: Resolved

And just like that, our mouse invader has been vanquished without any bloodshed. The cats might be a little disappointed.

Jen heard some commotion in the bedroom and went to investigate. The cats had knocked over a little waste basket and the mouse ran inside. They had it cornered. The little rodent asshole was frozen in fear, shaking like it was going to tear itself apart. I picked up the basket and took it outside. I flung our little uninvited guest out of the basket and, in a pathetic sense of mischievousness, into what we believe is a groundhog hole on the edge of the back yard. Ain’t I a stinker?

The cats are confused. They still smell Mr Mouse so they are still trying to hunt it. Jen tried to reward them for their hard work by putting out a handful of treats for them. They haven’t even noticed yet, but they will once things calm down.

Good kitties. You have protected your house. I’m proud of you.