Patches says the frozen pizza wasn’t bad. Not as good as a good take out, but good.

My co-worker is kinda furry.

Patches says, who you calling a Ho?

Hidden paws on Jen’s desk.

Many years ago I swore I would never turn into one of those clowns who buys Christmas presents for his pets.

Fast forward to today:

Okay so in my defense…

A. It’s not Christmas yet.

B. That perch is so cheap it’s probably going to fall off as soon as Patches looks at it.

Patches says, “make the bed, fatty!”

She’s so mean to me.

Patches is pissed. She wants me to punch out of work and go watch the new episode of Hawkeye.

Damn, calm down cat. I need to make dinner first.

Patches sat on me because she heard me say I wanted to work on some music tonight.

No, don’t do it, she said. We can’t handle such torture.

She’s probably my biggest fan.