The labs and the ultrasound are done. They had to stab me three times to draw blood and the ultrasound tech was having trouble finding whatever it was she was looking for.
Last time I had an in person appointment I signed up for their patient portal app. I’m kinda hoping I’ll get to see all of the images of my inner workings. That should be fun.
I will be heading over to the hospital for the next step in the weight loss surgery process. Today it’s just blood work, an abdomen ultrasound and an upper GI x-ray. It’s times like this that my job and my home life sort of high five each other. The application I work on covers hospital imaging departments. I haven’t a clue what the machines are called or how they work or anything like that, but when the technologists enter the information into the computer, I know what everything looks like under the covers. Of course the hospital I am working with is not one of our customers so I like to watch staff enter data to see if they get as frustrated as I’ve heard my software’s users get. (*)
I’ll be leaving in five minutes. I have the order sheet. I have a mask. I haven’t had any food or drink since last night at 9:30. I have nothing to be nervous about with this step, and yet I am nervous. I need to grow a pair.
(*) #sarcasm
Now that the RPM Challenge is over I can start worrying about other things.
Specifically, tomorrow’s doctors appointment. Not that there is anything logical to stress about. I’m having some blood work, an ultrasound, and an x-ray. All prep for the real thing.
But… what if the imaging shows that there’s something screwy going on in my inner works? What if they see something that makes me ineligible for the weight loss surgery?
See? I can freak out about anything these days.
Twice this week I didn’t close my Activity App rings until after 11:00pm. Today I wrapped it up by 2:15pm.
Suck it, morbid obesity.
I’ve been so busy today that I didn’t even start my exercise until 9:45pm or so. I finished at about 11:30. Done.
Normal people would have started at 9:45 and ended at 10:15. When you are as morbidly out of shape as I am it doesn’t work that way. For me it’s more like exercise for a few minutes then rest and recover, then repeat for almost two hours.
I closed that 30 minute exercise ring though. I wasn’t sure I’d pull it off, but I made it. Shocking.
Two things.
First. On Wednesday the dietician told me to wait an hour after eating before having anything to drink. Three hours later I am sitting at my desk having lunch and the minute I was done eating I was guzzling a water bottle. I was still gulping water when I realized what I was doing. Like… dude… she just told me! Yeah, that one is going to take some getting used to. I managed to do it right all day yesterday, but come on. The first day!
Second. I’ve been using the CPAP machine every night since, what… early 2019? Years. Literally years, plural. Like… multiple years! Every night! The only exceptions being nights where I was sleeping in a room that the CPAP machine wasn’t in. I can probably count them on one hand. Last night at 11:00ish, I put down my iPad and curled up in bed and went to sleep. I woke up an hour and a half later and thought that it was weird to wake up that quickly. I woke up again at a little before 3:00am and realized I never put the damn CPAP machine on. It was sitting on the table next to the bed looking all lonely and dejected and ignored. Years! I’ve been doing it for years and I just plain forgot last night. I even woke up without it on and it didn’t register! What the hell, Robert? Years!
In other news, February is continuing its theme of being a dick. I think we’re up to three instances where a super warm day was followed a day or two later by a legitimate snow storm. It was in the mid 60’s on Wednesday and today, two days later, we’re getting a foot of snow. Nice. Way to be a dick, February.
In other news that is actually important to the future of human civilization, I am sad to realize how little I know about Ukraine. They were a Soviet Republic and an American fascist tried to use them to rig the 2020 election and got off scot free because the United States government is broken and getting close to the point where it’s not worth saving anymore. I thought they were to the South of Russia but when I looked at a map I realized everything I thought I knew about Ukraine was probably actually about Georgia. Wikipedia just confirmed that. I thought Eduard Shevardnadze was the first post-Soviet president of Ukraine, but he was president of Georgia. Shit.
I keep reading stories about heroic stands by the Ukrainian army. They took back a city, they took back the airport in Kyiv. Things like that. Every time I read something good I try to find reports to back it up and I always find one report confirming and one report confirming the opposite. In the age of instant knowledge, I really hate not knowing what’s going on.
I have a huge confirmation bias regarding this war. It’s Russia. The superpower that stood against us for all of those years. The only nation that could match our massive military machine. How can Ukraine fight them off? It’s impossible, right? Then I try to convince myself otherwise. The Soviet Union I was so afraid of is gone. Sure, Russia retains most of that might, but Ukraine was a Soviet state too. They were part of that military. Who knows, maybe they were a bigger part of it than I realize. I’m wrong about everything else so why not that too? Then I read that the US government expects that Ukraine will fall within days. Damn it. Sometimes, not often, I hate being right.
It’s 11:00. Past my bedtime.
I still have 11 minutes of exercise to do today. I’m trying to cram it all in at the last minute. My legs are so pissed off at me right now.
I’m sure Jen can get you the address to send flowers to when I kick it. Yippee.
ADDENDUM: I closed the exercise ring with 26 minutes to spare, and I lived to tell the tale.
I just leaped over another hurdle. I had my first meeting with the Dietician. It was a Zoom call. We talked about how I eat and how much I eat and how I’ve made some changes already. So much more to do. She’s going to send me a meal plan. I really think that will help tremendously. I need someone to tell me what to eat because when I choose for myself I end up eating everything there is.
One thing she wants me to do now, because I will have to do it post-surgery so why not get used to it ahead of time, is no drinking while eating. I never even imagined that would be required. I also never imagined how ridiculously difficult it would be.
I am always drinking something. It used to be soda, now it’s water. The new rule is to stop drinking 15 minutes before eating, and then to not start again for 60 minutes after eating. That’s going to be tough for me, but I’ll figure it out. The timer on my Apple Watch gets used pretty much constantly already. Once I have to time when I can have a glass of water it’s going to be used so much it might catch fire.
I also have to start keeping a food journal. Oh Google Sheets, I’m coming for you!
Turns out I was not double booked. The doctors appointment is in fact tomorrow and not today. The electricians are here and for the first time in ages the lights in the kitchen and the dining room are going to work correctly. If they are done by 10:30, or even if they just don’t turn off the internets, then I may be able to attend that work meeting. I’m on vacation though, so I’ll be all incognito like. Hi everyone, I’m not actually here. Ha! I’m so professionally funny.
The best part of all of this is that I have 24 hours left before I have to lose my head being afraid of another doctors appointment. Hooray and all that happy crappy*.
*That’s a Stephen King reference, from too many books to count. I think. Maybe he only used it in one book and I just read that book more than once. Who knows.
I cleaned the bathroom, did all of the laundry, made dinner, played a ton of guitar, and closed all three rings.
I’m ready for zombies now.
Inside the Red Head's Head 