Gore

Last Friday I burned my hand on one of the racks in the oven. I posted a picture. That night the burn blistered over. It wasn’t too gross, just a little unpleasant to look at. Jen said to me, “don’t pop that blister.” and I said in return, “no, I won’t pop that blister.”*

The next morning the shower had other plans. I took the band aide off, got into the shower, and next thing I knew the water had ripped that blister right off. Well that’s too bad. It looked pretty grody after that. I tried to keep it covered but somedays the band aides just wouldn’t stick. Yesterday was one of those days.

When I woke up today it had blistered over again. Finally. Heel, you sucker! Then I took a shower. Once again the water pressure ripped it off. Once again I didn’t see it happen. This time though… I looked down at my hand and it was covered with blood**.

I cleaned it up. Reverted to Boy Scout training and applied direct pressure until the bleeding stopped. I put some medicinal goop on it and got a new band aide to stick. All is well now.

Come on, you stupid injury. Scab over and heel, ya creep.

*Those may not be exact quotes. I tried to capture the spirit of the thing.***

**When I say covered in blood, that’s probably an exaggeration based on the fast approaching end of September and the imminent start of the month long Halloween season. Halloween is getting all like Christmas these days. Every year it starts earlier. HoHoBooHo.

***That is a direct quote. Dickie Dun, sports journalist covering the Charlestown Chiefs in the movie Slapshot.****

****Yes, I did put footnotes into my footnotes.

Halloween Plans

So with over 1400 new cases of Covid-19 in Massachusetts today, and over 80,000 new cases nation wide, I figured I’d bring up the topic of Halloween plans.

What are you folks doing?

Wanna know what we’re doing?

Our plans are to turn off all the lights outside of the house, turn off all the lights inside the house that face the street, close all of the curtains, lock ourselves into a room in the back of the house and act like Shaun and Liz and Ed and Dianne and David and Shaun’s mom from Shaun of the Dead and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

Happy Covid-ween, everyone. Stay home and wash your damn hands!

‘Tis the Season

I was thinking of celebrating the last week before Halloween by watching a scary movie before bed each night. Hulu has a film version of Clive Barker’s Books of Blood (how? Is it an anthology thing? Is it based on a single story? Books of Blood is a short story series (six books if you live in the UK, three if you live in the US) that I’ve wanted to see. Speaking of Mr Barker, I still haven’t seen the director’s cut of Nightbreed. I have heard good things. I think there’s a film version of Midnight Meat Train too… is that from Books of Blood? I can’t remember. What about Dread? I think they made that into a movie too. That one is definitely from Books of Blood (volume 2, if memory serves) and it scared the living shit out of me.

I have one more episode of Haunting of Bly Manor and that show is so freakin’ good. I’m also mid-way through Lovecraft Country. I could use both of those shows as my scary movie-fest each night.

Having said all of that, Jen and I are blitzing our way through Schitt$ Creek and only have a few episodes left. We’ll watch some of those tonight and then I’ll go to sleep because I got little to no sleep last night… so spooky fest is dead before it starts.

Sorry, horror fans. I’m old.

Trick or Treat

I’m on candy distribution duty for tonight’s Halloween. Trick or Treating began at 5:00pm and it runs until 7:00pm. The first group rang the doorbell at 5:28. The second at 5:30… and the second group turned into a run, the likes of which I’ve never seen. Maybe close to 20 kids in all. They were like G.I.’s storming the beaches at Normandy. They just kept coming two or three at a time. It was an onslaught. We started with six bags of candy and half of it is gone… and it’s not even 5:45 yet!

Happy Halloween!

I Dislike Christmas in October

I saw this at a CVS in Salem, NH two nights ago:

To that, I say, BITE ME. It’s not even Halloween yet and they are putting out Christmas crap. I hate Christmas. Now granted, last year my first Christmas crap sighting in a store was in September, so October 27th was a pleasant surprise. Still…

I wonder if the Halloween decorations (33% off) are jealous.

Halloween Success

Another Halloween success story. One kid went to a party. The other went trick or treating with me. First he spent about an hour manning the door until we ran out of candy. There were a TON of kids out this year. Once the boy got to the road though, it was all good. He went out as a Lego Mini-fig and he was a huge hit. It was awesome.

Now we’re going to hang out and test drive the new Apple TV.

Yeah… we gots one.

Happy Halloween, everyone!