Tag: garter snake

I am the Angel of Death (in Some Circles)

I took a picture of a snake in the cellar last night. It was dead. I left it there with the intention of getting rid of it this morning.

There is a snow shovel in the cellar. Why? Because once I found a live garter snake and I used a snow shovel to kill it. Now, so long as the shovel is not needed in the driveway, it stays in the cellar. I grabbed our broom and took it downstairs with the plan to sweep the corpse onto the shovel, dump it into a trash barrel, and then take the barrel outside. I had to walk over to the other end of the cellar to get the shovel. As I was heading over to the laundry area, where last night’s dead sucker was decaying, I walked behind the couch.

There was another one.

Mutha Puss Bucket!

Was it dead? I don’t know. It wasn’t moving. What do I do? I reached out with the broom and poked it. It was alive all right. It took off for a hiding place, but I used the broom to sweep it back out into the open, where I bashed it with the shovel. SLAM! It wasn’t all the way dead, but it was broken enough that it didn’t matter. Sweep sweep, scoop scoop, it’s in the trash. Sweep sweep, scoop scoop, last night’s bastard was in the trash.

Now I’m paranoid. I went wandering around, looking for more of the little s.o.b’s. Turns out there was this thing that I thought was a twisty tie (the cat LOVES to play with twisty ties) in a corner that turned out to be another dead one. I first saw it a couple of days ago but didn’t think anything of it. Sweep sweep, scoop scoop, carry the barrel outside and deposit three little home invaders.

I should also add that last weekend while I was mowing the grass I happened to see one slithering along the edge of the patio. Garter snakes are easier to kill with a lawn mower than with a shovel, I’ll tell you that for nothing. I left the corpse behind, figuring some animal would make use of it. The next day I took a look and it was gone.

I’m going to assume that it was the screwy weather last night that brought two of them into the open. I’m also going to assume that the very, very cold cellar floor will put and end to all of those that do come out of hiding. If not that, then the cat. Those that do show themselves and somehow manage to survive will have to face me and my shovel. From the garter snake’s point of view, I am the angel of death. I am the back breaker. I am the head smasher. I am snakey heaven’s justice.

(if you are a garter snake) Don’t mess with me.

Wildlife

I may have developed a new lunch time ritual for the days I telecommute.  More on that in a second, but first there is gore to share.

I went downstairs this morning at a little before 9:00 to put a load of laundry in the washing machine.  There was another garter snake on the cellar floor.  I walked up to him, he didn’t flinch.  He’s dead, thinks me.  I put the wash on, went upstairs, closed the cellar door so the cat couldn’t get at the slithery bastard, and started working.  When it was time to put the wash into the dryer I went downstairs with a bucket and something to scoop up the corpse.

It wasn’t there.

DAMN IT!  It was still alive!

An hour later I went back downstairs and he was back, just a short distance from where he was when I first saw him.  I wasn’t taking any chances this time.  I went upstairs and got a couple of things.  One was the camera… obviously.

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The other item I brought downstairs was a big honkin’ snow shovel with a nice sharp edge on it.  I brought it down on the snake with a vengeance.  His back was nice and crushed.  I waited a few moments.  He didn’t move.  I scooped him onto the shovel and what do you know, he started moving.  Damn thing still ain’t dead!  I dropped him and gave him another slam with the shovel.  I paused again and then brought it down one more time, just south of his head.  He didn’t move again.  I scooped him out and threw him in the woods.  I hope something gross eats what’s left of him.  Something like a slug, or a worm, or whatever.  Stupid home invading snake.

So now that that drama was over, I could happily go back to work.  When lunch time rolled around I had an idea.  Every time I got up today, I went to the bedroom window to check on the bird feeder, and every time there were squirrels and chipmunks all over the thing.  I yell, they run, I leave, they come back.

I decided that for lunch, I would cook some hot dogs on the grill, grab a camp chair and my camera, and sit outside on the grass.  I could watch the birds and keep away the rodents all at the same time.  Success!

 
I was lucky enough to catch a couple of birds just as they jumped off the feeder. I think a good clear shot of a bird in flight is the new goal for the summer.

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I got some pics of birds just hanging out and having a snack.

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Mostly what I got though was a lot of near misses.

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Should anyone know what the name of any of these species is, please feel free to share. I haven’t a clue.

Snakes

Once in the past, I think it was last summer maybe, I found something unusual in the cellar. It was a little, very dead, garter snake. It was maybe a foot long, just laying there on the cold tiled floor, dead and stiff. I had to look at it for quite a while to determine that it wasn’t some toy I hadn’t noticed before. Nope, it was an honest to goodness dead snake.

Jen one upped me today.

She called me over to the cellar door. Look at the bottom of the stairs, she says. Is that a snake? Holy crap it certainly was! Another Garter Snake, but this time the sucker was huge! He was all balled up on the cold tiled floor, but I’d guess that if we straightened him out he’d be three, maybe four feet long.

I threw some things at it to try and spook it, but nothing worked. I went down to the last step and hit it with something. It moved, but not on its own. So if it was dead it was recently dead. It wasn’t stiff yet. I got a barrel and some cardboard and scooped it into the trash. I’m not sure, but at the last minute I believe it moved its head. I don’t think it was dead, just frozen by the cold tiled floor.

He’s gone now, but I am greatly displeased by this turn of events.