Blindness Can Be Funny

I’m kidding. Blindness is not funny. Being a dumbass who wears glasses however can sometimes lead to funny stuff.

This happened while I was at my parents house yesterday and I laughed at myself, but by the time I straightened it all out I wasn’t in a funny mood anymore so I didn’t write about it. I’m at home today and it’s getting funny again. A little. Sort of.

My parents have a bottle of lens cleaner in the bathroom. My glasses were dirty as hell after having balled my eyes out into them for a while the night before. I went into the bathroom, ripped some tissue off the roll, took off my glasses, grabbed the bottle and sprayed the shit out of my lenses. That’s when I smelled it. A nice, fresh, sweet scent that wafted back to me from my glasses, and from the hand holding my glasses. What the hell? I looked at the bottle, but without my glasses I couldn’t read the label. Pretty clearly I grabbed the wrong bottle.

I cleaned the glasses as best I could, put them back on, and through the streaks and the fog and the haze I could see that I did not, in fact, spray my glasses with lens cleaner. Instead I sprayed them with scented body wash, which was in a nearly identical bottle right next to the lens cleaner.

12 pounds of actual lens cleaner later and I could see again. The reason I bring this up now is…

…Man, my glasses are dirty again. Where’s my lens cleaner?

The Final Pre-50/90 Song

A little mini-suite. I had my 10 songs underway for my June album in a month project and like a doofus I threw together an extra song at the last minute, and made it three songs in one. (I then added two more, because I’m dumb).

Mostly this was an excuse to add an acoustic guitar (my Takamine 12-string) and a Gibson electric (ES 335 Pro) to a project that had been 100% Stratocaster to that point.

One night recently my two step kids and I all had a really difficult time falling asleep. That lead to some anxiety among the kids who thought that the inability to sleep was a sign that there was something wrong with them. I reassured them that it happens to all of us once in a while and that they should just relax, and then I wrote a song about not being able to sleep because of nightmares. I am a lyrical hypocrite. Accept it, I have.


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Here is the iOS mix.

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June Music is now as done as done can be. It’s 11:45pm on July 3rd. 50/90 officially starts in 15 minutes. I, however, will wait until morning because I am exhausted.

G’Night everyone!