I want to pass a Federal law in this country. The law will make using the term, “Black Friday” to describe the day after Thanksgiving in the United States a misdemeanor punishable by a $10,000 fine.

Search for “black Friday” on wikipedia.org. It returns a list of cases for which the phrase is used. Here are a few highlights:

• Black Friday (1881), the Eyemouth disaster in which 189 fishermen died
• Black Friday (1939), a day of devastating bushfires in Victoria, Australia, which killed 71 people
• Black Friday (1945), an Allied air attack against German ships in Norway
• Black Friday (1978), a massacre of protesters in Iran
• Black Friday (1993), a series of bomb explosions in Mumbai, India
• Black Friday (Maldives), a 2004 crackdown by government forces on a peaceful protest

Oh yeah, it also means a day of crazy Christmas Shopping.

On Thanksgiving we join with family and give thanks for all of the things we are fortunate enough to have.  On the day after Thanksgiving people storm the malls and the shops for ridiculous bargains and the result is more and more often riots, violence, and in some cases even death.  All of this on the day after Thanksgiving.

Only in America, am I right?  It’s disgusting and it’s embarrassing, and it proves that no one gives a damn about the meaning of Thanksgiving, and that all that matters in the US is money.  To make matters worse, more and more stores are opening on Thanksgiving itself so you can get those great Black Friday deals early.  Again, rendering Thanksgiving meaningless.  If you own a store and you open on Thanksgiving you should be fined millions of dollars.  I’ll add that to the bill I put before Congress.  Of course money rules Congress too, so I guess I’m shit out of luck.