I found Miss Lilly. A few hours went by but she eventually came out of hiding. She was laying down on the ottoman in the living room, just relaxing like nothing happened. She let me pet her for a few minutes.
Shes fine, everything’s perfectly all right now, we’re fine, we’re all fine here now, thank you, how are you?
Why the hell would anyone in their right mind name something after a dope like me?
Given that I was named after my father you might think I had wanted to name a son, if I ever had one, after me. Hi, I am Robert, Jr and here is my devilishly handsome, hyper intelligent son (who clearly takes after his mother) Robert, III. Nope. No way. I would never subject any son I might have had to anything like that. Let’s just say that I would have lived through it so he would not have had to. I don’t have a biological son though (I have a step son who I love as much as anyone could ever love a biological son) so it’s a moo point. You know, it’s like a cow’s opinion. It’s moo.
I’ve seen a few people say they would like to have a street named after them. That’s a really good take. Unfortunately, I have a very common first name and a slightly less common but still very common last name. That means there are already streets in most New England towns with those names. Too late, Robbie. Too late.
As a guitar player one fun option would be to have a guitar named after me. I’d have to be super famous for that, but why not consider it? My favorite guitar is arguably the most famous signature guitar there is, named after it’s co-designer and jazz legend who is even more legendary as an inventor of audio recording devices and techniques, Les Paul. Most of the major guitar manufacturers make signature models of their common guitars or make signature models of new designs. I wouldn’t mind a Robbie signature Les Paul, or ES-335, or whatever. That would be pretty epic.
The best thing would be to have some technique or workflow named after me. Like when Captain Picard was on the Stargazer and he used his warp engines to travel a short distance and therefore appear to be in two places at once and fool his enemy’s sensors. That technique became known as The Picard Maneuver. Or when Commander Riker of the Enterprise started flinging his leg over the back of his chair before sitting down, thus creating The Riker Maneuver. Something like that. Maybe jogging in place (pronounced “yogging in place”) followed by a protein bar breakfast could be called The Robert Maneuver. That would be pretty sweet, don’t you think?
Lots of things make me laugh. Laughing is fun. Laughing makes humans feel good. I once wrote a song called “Laughing” and one of the bands I was in played it for a while. It was written in that dark period in my life after I dropped out of college the first time and if I remember it right it was about how sometimes I was so incredibly depressed that I would laugh at how miserable I was. Yeah… so that’s a bad example… maybe.
The question is, what makes me laugh. Jen makes me laugh. My wife has the sharpest wit and the best sense of humor. Every once in a while she’ll blindside me with something so funny that I just lose my shit. It’s one of the billion or so reasons why I love her so much.
My step kids make me laugh too. They are both adults now and they spend their days doing adulting things so the silliness they excelled at when they were little is a thing of the past. Back then they would slay my sense of humor on a daily basis. The Birdie Dance. Raspberry Pickle. Yeah, we laughed a lot. A lot. These days they are more serious most of the time, the way adults are supposed to be, but they can still cause me to erupt into a belly laugh that shakes the universe. They are awesome like that.
There are other things that make me laugh. Things that are funny often make me laugh. Things that are not funny don’t. It’s crazy how that works out, right? Funny stories are funny. Funny movies are funny. I quoted Dodgeball last night. I had an itch on my arm and I scratched it and my razor sharp fingernail cut me a little and I had to unironically proclaim that “nobody makes me bleed my own blood!” I guess I even make myself laugh… you easily self manipulated dumb ass.
Funny is just funny, you know?
Hey https://gencraft.com/generate, generate an image of a jedi knight laughing…
That is one creepy ass a.i. generated image of one creepy ass yoda-sith. I am going to see this in my nightmares forever.
Okay, I lied. I’ve watched a few pitches of the season opener.
Red Sox at Mariners. No score in the top of the third inning.
Happy opening day, America.
ADDENDUM: Dever’s hit a two run homer just after I published this post. The Red Sox are now up 2-0 in the top of the third. Nice.
My mother used to tell this story a lot. I have a vague memory of it happening, but it might be partly due to her telling me about it rather than a genuine memory, you know? I’m not sure how old I was when this happened, but let’s just say I was five and go with it.
I had my eyes checked at an eye doctor’s office. I don’t remember why. It was years before I would need reading glasses. I was really impressed with all of the equipment. It led to me being a little fascinated with eye doctors. I was also a little kid so I was fascinated with the usual little kid stuff. For whatever reason I blurted out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Was I asked about it? Did I just come out with it on my own? No idea. Whatever it was, I told my mother that I wanted to be an eye doctor during the week, but then drive a garbage truck on the weekends for extra money.
You know, like you do.
At other times I wanted to be an astronaut, a fireman, a policeman, a long haul trucker, a Jedi Knight. You know, the usual stuff. No plan was better than an eye doctor and a garbage truck driver on the side though. That plan was aces.
In the office day.
I miss my wife… and my cats.
I want to go home.
Something that no one understands… besides Three dimensional Calculus? Physics? Astronomy? Stuff like that?
About half of the people in the United States don’t seem to understand that fascism is both a thing (a bad thing at that) and un-American. I don’t understand how people don’t seem to get that, but they don’t. Fascism is idiotic and yet trump won the presidency in 2016 and got about half of the votes in 2020 and got the nomination for the nazi, umm I mean republican party just this month. What the ever loving fuck?
People don’t understand that weaving between lanes on the highway makes the traffic jams worse. Yeah, I just got to work after an hour and 40 minutes in gridlock. Morons changing lane for no benefit or no reason just make the stupid situation worse.
What else can I put here… I’m sure I can come up with something… I don’t know. I guess the anti-nazi one is enough for today.
Just remember folks, fascism is bad. Really bad.
Guess what the theme for today’s haiku for you is. Go on, guess.
Meetings all day long.
Many hours of meetings.
Meetings never end.
This is a hard question to answer because technology sort of is my job. Mostly. Kind of.
I work for a software company. We make information systems for hospitals (mostly). I won’t say that we’re on the cutting edge, but we try to stay up to date with the latest and the greatest. Sometimes it takes a while to get there, but we get there.
There have been plenty of technological advancements over the course of my almost 20 years here. Most of them have been internal as most of our systems are proprietary. As new ideas in the industry come along we try them on for size. Sometimes we make use of them, sometimes we give them a miss. It all depends on what those new ideas can do for our customers and our systems.
So I would say that changes in technology change the way we do things here, but nothing really turns things upside down on us. We are a tech company. Changes in tech are what we do.
Sorry I couldn’t give you a more exciting answer, but what can you do, right?
The cats are napping and I wish I was napping too.
Inside the Red Head's Head 