Category: Family

Dad

My father passed away last night. My brother and sister were in the room with him. He went at almost the exact moment that the Red Sox finished off a win. That is literally the best way it could have happened. I didn’t say anything to anyone about it but I had been hoping for the last few days that when he did go, he would go with a Red Sox win.

My brother called when it was getting very close and Jen and I ran over there. He was gone when we got there, but that was okay. We were there earlier in the day and got to say our goodbyes.

I miss him already. Love you, Dad.

No Change

I’m at home. My stomach has been a mess the last two days, probably because I’ve had protein bars for almost all of my meals for over a week and now it’s fighting back. I had to go home and eat something real, and I’ve just been dealing with an acidy stomach that is churning and bubbling and a little nauseous and being weird. Last night I had a full on foamies as well. Tonight was a little better but I am afraid to be too far away from a safe and secure bathroom. Sorry about the TMI, but there you have it.

I was planning on going to work tomorrow but now I don’t know. They are not expecting me to come in (thank you for that) but I might work a little in the morning. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. I simply don’t know what to do. Maybe I’ll just wake up and go back to the hospice place and wait for however long it takes. I just don’t know.

Checking In

I’ve been at the hospice facility for almost six hours now. My father has been asleep almost the entire time. His breathing is a little shallow and every now and then it sounds a little labored but for the most part he is consistent.

I don’t know what any of that means. I don’t know how long this is going to go on. I do know that they are telling us he will not be getting better and will only get worse.

I also know that my heart is breaking and that it’s only been a year and a half since we went through something very similar with my mother and I haven’t quite gotten over that experience yet and now here we are in the exact same room doing it all again.

I just don’t want him to be in pain. I don’t want him to suffer. I also don’t want him to go. I guess I am just a selfish son. Something along those lines at least.

I do have to work the next three days, though I should be able to swing a half day the day after tomorrow. My visit times will be limited until the weekend.

All in all I would much rather be visiting him at his apartment and watching a few innings worth of a Red Sox game. I would much rather that.

Cosmic Coincidence

My father was moved to a hospice facility last night. It’s the same facility my mother went to in February 2023.

That’s not the cosmic coincidence the title of this post refers to.

He is in the same room. He’s in the same bed.

At first I was completely freaked out by this. Now, after stewing over it for about 12 hours or so, I’m beginning to see the romance behind it. He’s not aware of it, but if he were he’d probably be delighted by it. I’m going to try to choose to feel the same.

362/365

Hospice

I’m still not sharing any details, but my father is moving from the hospital to a hospice tonight and it’s awful and heartbreaking.

I’m so sad but I’m trying to put on a brave face for everyone else. As things progress I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep up the facade, as it were.