Author: robertjames1971

I'm wicked tall.

AppleTV+ Was Messing With Me

There are so many good Science Fiction shows on AppleTV+. It’s a little crazy. Severance, For All Mankind, Silo, Foundation, Invasion. They are all killer shows. The latest is Constellation, which is weirding me out like mad. There will be eight episodes in this first season. Episode Seven was released today.

So there I was, trying to watch the new episode while sitting up in bed. Suddenly, without warning or provocation, the video started lagging. It went from, huh? to bad to worse quickly. I closed the app and opened it again. When it launched the episode it crashed. I tried again. It wouldn’t launch the episode at all.

I did what The IT Crowd always said to do, I turned my computer off and on again. Reboot city, population me. Did it work? Nope. When the episode tried to launch, the AppleTV+ app crashed. Over and over again.

Shit.

I tried to outsmart it. I know, thought me, I’ll watch something else on another app for a while. That will make AppleTV+ jealous so that it will work for me the next time I try it.

Success. Five minutes or so of Penny Dreadful season two episode five was all it took to guilt AppleTV+ into working again. I was able to finish the new episode of Constellation.

Don’t be a jerk, AppleTV+. I needs me my Sci Fi.

Welcome to Spring (He Said Sarcastically)

I posted yesterday about how happy I was that Spring officially started last night at 11:06pm my time.

I woke up this morning all pleased that it was officially Spring at last, even though the temperature was still low and I knew it wouldn’t make any real difference to anything at all.

Then, while driving to work, mother nature did what she often does. She kicked me in the nuts.

It started to snow.

Well, of course it did!

Happy “Spring” everyone.

So Much Hate

Daily writing prompt
What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?
View all responses

Spoiler alert, I am probably going to swear a lot in this post. You’ve been warned.

I hate tattoos. I really hate them. I really fucking hate them. My wife has one, but she got it before we met and I immediately taught myself to not be bothered by it. It wasn’t hard for me to do because she’s amazing and I am crazy about her. Crazy enough to barely even see her tattoo. Her tattoo is okay by me. Every other tattoo….

I fucking loathe tattoos. I can’t state that strongly enough. I hate tattoos as much as I hate fascists. I hate tattoos as much as I hate the maga cult. I hate tattoos almost as much as I hate the New York Yankees. That’s a lot of hate.

I mean I really… fucking… hate… tattoos. I really fucking hate tattoos. Are you picking up what I am putting down? I hate them… a lot.

So no, I don’t want a fucking tattoo. No, I am not planning on getting a fucking tattoo. I am not going to scar my skin with a permanent mark that looks like mud that will never, ever wash off. No. Fuck tattoos. I am never getting a fucking tattoo.

My wife’s tattoo is okay by me. Every other tattoo? No fucking way.

Dig it?

The Dishwasher Follies

Yesterday our dishwasher was dead.

Today our dishwasher was fixed.

Later today our dishwasher was dead again.

Still later today our dishwasher was fixed again. It’s actually running as I type this.

I think that’s enough dishwasher shenanigans. It’s not dead, but it’s dead to me. We went shopping for a new one tonight. I’ll keep you posted on the progress because I can tell by the look on all of your faces that you cannot wait to hear how this turns out.

More info coming as it develops.

Stay tuned.

Want Some Good News?

Hey everyone, want to hear some good news? Some happy news? Something to cheer you up after months and months of gloom?

Spring starts today. In the Eastern Time Zone in the United States (where I live), Spring officially starts at 11:06pm.

That sound you just heard was my emphatic sigh of relief. Sure, I will likely be asleep when the change happens (I hope so at least, I am beat today) but I will celebrate it just as well.

Kiss my ass, winter. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

Bertie Botts Every Flavour Plant Clipping

First there was a plant that belonged to my step kids’ step mother’s mother. When she passed away, their step mother took the plant home with her.

When my step daughter, Bellana, got her own place she took a clipping of that plant and used it to grow a new plant for her apartment. She named the plant Burt. I don’t know if the original plant had a name or not.

During the early days of the Covid lockdown Bellana took her plant, Burt, to our house. While it was with us, Bellana gave us a clipping to grow another plant. We named ours Bertha. Bertha is now gigantic and still growing, but much of her early growth is dying off. The plant is alive, but it doesn’t seem terribly happy. I got nervous about the plant’s prognosis so I did a thing.

I took another clipping and put it into a glass of water. Nothing happened for what seemed like a very long time and I was afraid that I was going to fail in my attempt to keep Bertha alive forever. Then, late last week, a new root grew! Then a second new root! Excellent! The new clipping is alive!

A few minutes ago I put it into a pot full of potting soil. Will it survive the transfer? I hope so, but I have no way to know. It has plenty of soil, food, and water. I will watch it like a hawk to make sure it doesn’t lack for anything until it proves to me that it’s thriving. After that I’ll just treat it like a normal plant and let it grow like crazy the way Bertha did.

Say hello to the new baby plant. I have decided to name it Bertie Botts Every Flavour Plant Clipping, which I will probably just shorten to Bertie Botts Every Flavor Plant… or maybe just Bertie.

Wish our new green friend luck!