Tag: sadness

Down

Why am I feeling down this week? Hey Robbie, why so blue?

I don’t know. If I knew, I’d fix it but I really don’t know.

I can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything. Is this what being stuck in a rut means when people say they are stuck in a rut?

I want to play guitar and write crappy songs and record crappy home demos but I stare at my guitars in their cases and I stare at the GarageBand icon on my laptop and I just can’t bring myself to do anything.

I wanted 2026 to be the year of live music. I’ve been to one show an have tickets to two more but there is a Jenny Owen Youngs show in Portsmouth next month that I’d love to see and I can’t bring myself to do anything about it and The Pineapple Theif is playing in Somerville in November and the tickets go onsale today and I just can’t bring myself to do anything about it.

I want to start taking advantage of the Spring-ish weather and go outside and shoot pictures. I was thinking of the sunrise at the ocean visit for this weekend but the forecast calls for heavy clouds both mornings and any thoughts of anything else just vanished into thin air.

I want to read books, and I’m in the middle of one, but I just look at the cover and sigh and don’t even pick it up. I’m following a bunch of TV shows (The Boys, The Testaments, For All Mankind, Daredevil, Star Wars: Maul) but I only pay attention in the mornings when I’m exercising or at night just before bed (which I stopped doing last year because I was waking up with headaches every day and don’t think for a second I’m not scared shitless that that particular bullshit is going to start up again) and even when the episodes are excellent I find my mind wandering away.

Work is… work. I have a thousand things going on and I am having a hard time covering all of the things that I have to do.

Shit.

I don’t know. We’re one work day away from the weekend. We’re going to a live comedy show tomorrow and on Sunday we’re going to see Project Hail Mary again, this time on an IMAX screen. Maybe I’ll cheer up. I hope so. This sucks.

Sports are Making Me Sad

The Bruins were bounced from the playoffs last night.

The Red Sox have lost four games in a row and have dropped below .500.

Those are the only pro sports I follow, and they are both making me sad.

The Boston team in the new Professional Women’s Hockey League is in the finals. It’s about time I started following that league now.

Services

I am working in the office today. I’ve had a few meetings and I just wrapped up my lunch. I have another meeting booked for 45 minutes from now but I will be leaving for the day shortly after it starts. Today is my Uncle Jim’s wake. It’s actually a lot closer to my office building than it is to home so working from here actually makes getting there a ton easier. Otherwise I probably would have taken the whole day off. I took tomorrow off as I will be going to the funeral in the morning.

It’s so sad the way my mother’s family has fallen apart over the last year. Three of the four siblings passed away within nine months of each other. Only the baby in the family is left and she has some health concerns of her own. It’s been a tough year for the extended family. I am one of 22 first cousins and most of us are on a facebook messenger chat together. Anytime I get a notification of an update to that chat I get scared. It shouldn’t be like that, but it is. Hopefully we can all find a way to generate some happy news in the next year. I don’t know how, but maybe we can figure it out.

Speaking of happier news, Harry is coming home tonight. He needs to have some work done on his car and he is taking it to a shop near us because he couldn’t find a shop near Burlington, VT that could schedule him any time soon. We’re not sure how long he’ll be home. It will be at least as long as the car fix takes. Hopefully he’ll watch a Doctor Who or two with me. I bet I can talk him into it.

Okay, lunch break is over. Time to go back to work for the shortened afternoon.

That Sucked

I called my parents today just to say hello. My mother gave me both barrels, right in the face. Boy is she unhappy about moving into an assisted living place. Boy did she let me have it. My favorite was when she said you’re not going to help me get out of here, are you. Yeah, that was the best. Honorable mention goes to the time she said if she had to live there the rest of her life then the rest of her life is going to be really short. No, I am not going to get you out of the place that will take care of you better than anyone you have ever met before can take care of you.

Yeah, that was fun. It was easy to pay attention to work after that. Sure it was.