Yesterday, while eating lunch, I bit my lip. It swelled up like you wouldn’t believe. It hurt like a bastard. It took all night for most of the swelling to go down. It was still sore this morning.

Wouldn’t you know it, I bit my lip again during lunch today. It was exactly the same spot. All the swelling is back. All the pain is back. Two pints of blood are gone. I’m feeling really lucky that I brought some paper towels with me today because I needed them to mop up the gore.

Stop doing that, asshole.