Home improvement shows on HGTV should come with a warning label. Everything going on here is their fault. We watched a bunch of episodes of Property Brothers* and now we’re turning the house upside down.

First it was the bedroom closets. Then it was the furniture arrangement. Then it was the bed. Then it was the end tables. We should be done with this room this weekend. After that it’s going to be the kitchen.

We aren’t doing renovations because Covid, duh. We’re making changes that are simple enough that a klutz with no home improvement skills (me) can pull them off.

The actual renovations will be in the cellar and they will wait until after Covid is cleared out. Pretty much everything in the cellar, from beneath the floor tiles up through anything actually sitting on the floor is so badly water damaged that it’s got to go. The floor and the walls and the drop ceiling all have to go. The HVAC ducts all have to go. I think once Covid is gone and we can let a work crew into the house we are going to take anything savable out of the cellar and put it somewhere. Everything else can be taken out by a junk removal service or something. Then we bring a contractor to take up the floor, take down the drop ceiling, and fix the walls. It’s going to be a nightmare, but there is so much water damage that there isn’t a choice.

The cellar can’t be blamed on the Property Brothers and HGTV, but all the upstairs stuff can. How dare you, HGTV. Put a warning label on these shows. Stay safe, everyone.

*Do you think either of the Property Brothers, or any of the staff and crew who work on the show have ever used the phrase, “property bros. before property hoes”?

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