Tag: weight loss

Two Days Down

I did a little bit better on Tuesday than on Monday as far as eating better is concerned.  I had a slightly healthier lunch, and a much, much smaller dinner.  The snack situation was the same.  Peanuts… tons of them.  Way too much, although not as much as Monday.  I’ll take the wins any way I can get them, even if it isn’t much of a win.

There were two downsides though.  First, after lunch I had a soda.  A Coke Zero.  I needed caffeine.  I’m not happy about that, but it was necessary at the time.  I hope to do better today.  The other downside was again, no treadmill.  What the hell Rob?  You were sitting next to it as you ate all those damn peanuts!

Progress.

I also found out last night that I won’t be going to my usual Saturday morning weight watchers meeting.  There is a karate tournament that one of the black belt step kids will be competing in, and I will be taking her.  Maybe I’ll go to a Sunday meeting instead.  I wonder if there are Friday evening meetings at our branch?

Room for Improvement

I did all right yesterday.  I had a small breakfast, a smallish lunch, a smallish dinner.  That’s all good.  I did have a snack after dinner.  Peanuts are on the Simply Filling approved list, but a serving size like I had is not.  I had way too much.  I need to stop doing that.

I also failed to get my fat ass onto the treadmill.  I must start using that bastard every day.  Every.  Day.  No excuses.  It has to become part of the routine.  I’m never going to be healthy if I don’t exercise regularly and that’s the only indoor option we have.  I could go outside, but COLD.  So… no.

My goal for today:

Smaller snack portions
Use the damn treadmill

I can do it.

Torture

This morning I had a little you’re-going-to-lose-weight breakfast.

Check.

This afternoon I had a little you’re-going-to-lose-weight lunch.

Check.

Right now I am cooking a little you’re-going-to-lose-weight dinner.

Check.

Unfortunately…

 

I AM SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT MY OWN HEAD!!!!

 

I was only off the wagon for a week and a half.  It’s not like I changed my routine that much either.  I just allowed christmas themed candy and maybe an extra serving at dinner.  That’s all.  Today though… it’s like torture.  I need to eat eat eat eat.

I’ll get past this though.  I am strong.  I am red head, hear me roar!

Play Time is Over

Play time is over, fat ass.  You’ve had your little christmas vacation.  Now it’s time to drag that huge bulk you call a stomach and get back on that weight loss wagon.  The holiday break is over.  You need to eat right and exercise every single day.  You were down 37 pounds the weekend before christmas.  You probably gained 30 of that back over the last 10 days or so.  It’s time to stop all of that horse hockey crap and lose some effin’ weight!

 

 

ps: I figured I’d try the drill Sargent approach and see how it goes.  I’m going to a weight watchers meeting on Saturday and I hope to have a great week which minimizes the damage to the scale.  Think Thin!  WOOHOO

Weight Watchers Weigh In Delayed

Last week I missed my weigh in because I was at my step son’s robotics competition. Today I am missing it because of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cookies, and pretzels.

I fell of the wagon hard yesterday, but I am completely back on board today. My mission is to weigh in next Saturday and be at least level with my last weigh in.

I need to lose the equivalent of a normal sized adult human being in order to reach a healthy weight for some one my height. Progress will be made toward that goal today, my friends! Onward to the healthy goal!

I’m So Tired

I got a decent night’s sleep last night, but I am still really tired.  Not as tired as I was yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that.  I’m not doing a very good job sticking to the no caffeine policy.  In four of the last five days in the office I’ve been getting a Coke Zero after lunch because I can feel myself running out of gas.  It’s annoying to me.  I don’t want caffeine anymore.  I don’t want soda anymore.  I want to keep losing weight, and even with diet sodas I don’t feel that I am helping myself by having soda.

Oh the struggle.

In the past when I’ve lost weight I’ve felt pretty good.  What’s the deal this time?  I have lost more weight in the last two months than at any time I can remember.  Why then do I not have more energy than I did before getting on the wagon?  Why am I tired all the time.  I should have 32 pounds worth of additional feel good pep coursing through my veins.  I feel gypped.  Really.

Not that I am going to fall off the wagon any time soon.  I’m in this for the long haul.  32 pounds down, something like 160 still to go!  (not really.  I don’t have a goal in mind.  I just like the sound of what the weight value would be if I lost 190 pounds during this weight watchers stint.  A fat boy can dream, right?)

Saturday Morning

It’s 6:30am on Saturday and I’m awake. I’m out of bed. I’m not at all happy about it, but I am. We are getting ready to go to our weight watchers meeting.

I think I did okay this week. The between meal snacking seems to have gone up a little, but the actual meal time portions were generally way down. Hopefully it all evened out. I did not get any exercise in though, and that is upsetting. I need to start incorporating more of that if I want to keep getting good results.

I’m not sure what to expect today. I could be down. I could be up. It probably won’t be much either way. I’m not worried about it though because I feel like I did a decent job this week. If the numbers aren’t there today they will work out eventually.

I’m still staying positive.

Weight Watchers Weigh In

We just came home from our weigh in. After being sick for most of the week and being in a state of constant hungry horror, I was down 0.4 pounds for an eight week total of 28 pounds. I was afraid I’d be up this week, so I am happy.

Hopefully the cold will be gone next week and I’ll be able to get myself exercising again, and that should help me drop a little more. For now I am 0.4 pounds closer to being skinny. (hehe)

Jen didn’t check in last week because she was too sick to go. Today, she was down 1.2 pounds! Awesome work, Jen!

The Downside of Losing Weight

This morning I discovered the one downside of losing weight.  There is exactly one downside.  One and only one downside.  There are no other downsides than this.

I lost a lot of weight just prior to our wedding.  I was probably 20 pounds or so lighter than I am today.  I have never been heavier than I was when we started Weight Watchers back on Labor Day weekend, but I was pretty heavy when I popped the question.  In the months leading up to the wedding my beloved betrothed and I both lost a nice chunk of weight.  Then on the honeymoon we both started actively working to put it all back on.

I have never been much for jewelery.  I wore a high school class ring for a while, and I used to always wear a watch.  Other than that, nothing.  Obviously on my wedding day I started wearing a ring.  A nice gold one that symbolizes how out of this world in love I am with a certain woman.  On the first day of the honeymoon, less than 24 hours after saying “I do” to the love of my life, we found ourselves in a cozy little bed and breakfast in Woodstock, VT.  I did what I do most days when I get up in the morning.  I took a shower.  Wouldn’t you know it, my shiny new wedding ring slid right off my finger and clanked onto the shower floor.  After that, I took my ring off before I went into the shower.  That lasted for a while.  Maybe even a year (I can’t remember exactly).  Eventually my finger grew wider as I stopped watching what I ate and the ring fit tighter.  I didn’t need to take the ring off anymore.

I was not happy about putting on weight, but I was happy that the symbol of my marriage to the woman of my dreams no longer had to come off my finger for a few minutes each day.  Despite all of the negatives that went with it, I was pretty pleased about that.

This morning in the shower my ring slid off my finger.  It didn’t fall, but it did slide all the way over the knuckle before I stopped it.  There it is.  That is the one thing.  The one and only thing.  The single negative to losing weight.  My ring doesn’t fit as tightly as it did before.  I have pants that are starting to feel a little baggy.  Good.  I have shirts that are starting to feel too big.  Excellent.  My belt is cinched as tight as it can go.  Perfect.  I have no plans to fall off the wagon (although this week has been tough… really tough) so at some point in the near future I will have to spend some serious cash on clothes.  Financially speaking, that sucks.  I don’t care.  I can’t stay this morbidly obese and expect to make it into my 50’s (only seven years left) without suffering a heart attack or five.

Every single thing that results from losing weight is a huge positive, even when it causes slight negative ripples.  Hell, even the negative ripples are positives if I am getting healthier.  Every single thing but one:  I may have to start taking my wedding ring off for a few minutes each day.  That genuinely sucks.

That’s the one single solitary downside of losing weight.

Food

I sat down to eat lunch a few minutes ago and read this article from NPR.  It is about how people who were obese but lost tons of weight still have to deal with the stigma of being fat.  Mostly the article talks about it in terms of dating, but there are other things like stretch marks and loose skin.  I could care less about the dating issues, but all of the other problems the article discusses made me think one thing…

Gee, I sure wish I had those problems.

I mean, if you’re going to have problems, dealing with the downside of losing a ton of weight would be preferable to dealing with an extra ton of weight.  Know what I mean?

I’m tired of thinking about food.  I don’t want to have to do it anymore.  Sure I prefer the way things are now to the old pre-human hunter gathering days when statistically speaking any meal you ate was probably your last.  I don’t think about food in that way, and I’m very happy to be living a life free of the threat of starvation.  Really, I am.

It’s just that I am thinking about food all the time now.  Can I eat that?  What should I have to eat that won’t mess things up for me.  Did I eat too much?  Did I eat too little?  Will that make me feel sick because it’s good for me and my body doesn’t know how to handle things that are good for me?  How much of food that is good for me can I have before it stops being good for me?

I was really good for most of last week.  Thursday night we ate out and I seriously over did it.  Then on Saturday we had Jen’s mother and step father over and she made a fantastic meal and I grossly over did it.  Yesterday I was good all day.  Even at dinner I kept it under control.  Then I got hungry after dinner.  I stuck to weight watchers simply filling approved food, but without even realizing it I ate way too much again.  Before bed I made my lunch for today (which I am nibbling on as we speak) and I realized that I ate nearly a week’s worth of grapes yesterday.  What the hell, Rob?

I want all of this to become second nature.  I want my body to tell me when it doesn’t need more food.  I don’t want to think about what is right or wrong to eat.  I just want it to become a habit so that I never even consider going off track.

I know though, that even if I do lose 200 pounds like the guy in that article it is never going to be second nature.  I am never going to not think about it.  I am never going to not drool all over the place when walking past the chips isle in the grocery store.

I know it, and that makes me sad.