Fun with Time Zones

Here in Massachusetts in the good old (sliding uncontrollably toward becoming a fascist nuclear nightmare) USA, it is not Bellana’s birthday.

However, in Dublin, Ireland, where she is at this very moment, it is her birthday.

Happy birthday/day before your birthday, Bellana!!!

Birthday in Galway

My step daughter, Bellana, is in Ireland and I am super jealous. Jelly AF. Not really, but yeah, really.

Tomorrow is her 21st birthday and she has chosen to spend the day in the land of my forefathers. We had a FaceTime (actually, I think it was snapchat) call with her this morning while she was on a bus leaving the airport. We had to pause our conversation briefly while the bus’ safety announcement was read in a marvelous Irish accent. As soon as it completed I yelled out, “now in Gaelic!” They didn’t read it in Gaelic though. Oh well.

I am so excited for her birthday. I have been excited for all of her European excursions over the last few months, but Ireland… that’s just the best. I told her if she ends up in Cork she should look up my relatives. That’s where my father’s mother’s family comes from. My mother’s parents’ families are in Newfoundland, but before that they were in Mayo, so if she ends up there she can look for them as well.

She’s going to Galway today. She’s also an Elvis fan. Those are the only two things she has in common with the protagonist in this particular song, but it’s completely stuck in my head right now.

Somehow

I did it. Somehow.

After a rough day all around followed by a difficult night with a lot of really bad back pain, I managed to get out of bed around 5:00am.

The IKEA pickup window is open and we are ready to head out.

It’s going to be a long and physically challenging day for your fat and out of shape narrator.

Come along for the bitching and the moaning. It’ll be fun.

Road Trip Stats

This is going to be the most fascinating post ever. 100 years from now they are going to be writing graduate school thesis papers about this sucker, believe me.

Stats from the road trip today.

Home to school
196.8 miles
Three hours and 37 minutes
Average speed 54 miles per hour.

School back to home
190.2 miles
Three hours and 40 minutes
Average speed 51 miles per hour.

Round trip
387.0 miles
Seven hours and 17 minutes
Average speed 52 miles per hour.

I think we made the same number of stops each leg of the drive, but the short detours the first time around were longer than the second. The average speed on the second leg would have been faster but there was a two mile traffic jam merging from I89 to I93.

See? I told you this one was going to be fascinating. I can see by the look on your face that you are utterly fascinated. Like, your mind is blown.

Thankfully Europe is Big

I spent my lunch hour reading up on the situation in Ukraine. Once again it’s really hard to tell which reports are real and which reports are propaganda or misinformation. It sounds like “Russian warship, go fuck yourself” is real. I don’t think the ghost of Kyiv is real though. Despite how much I want it to be real.

I was a good student in Junior High and High School Geography classes. The map of Europe looked massively different back then, but even if it didn’t I never saw a map that was drawn to scale so distances are all hypothetical, know what I mean?

There’s a war going on in Eastern Europe. Bellana is in Western Europe. She’s not anywhere close to the conflict, is she? How far is it from The Netherlands to the Ukraine?

Google Maps. I searched for a route from her school to Kyiv. It’s a 21 hour drive. I wasn’t nervous about it at all, and yet I am still feeling a serious sense of relief. Irrational, yes, but when is anything to do with war rational?

Western Europe needs to keep my step daughter safe. Good work so far. Keep it up.

Trip to France

We got a FaceTime call from Bellana today. She and her roommate went to Paris over the weekend. It sounds like it was one of those out of this world experiences that you can only have when you’re 20 years old and taking a semester abroad. You know what I’m talking about. She said there will be a vlog post at some point. I can’t wait to see it.

This morning I was talking about how bringing the barrels out to the street marks the high point of my social calendar. Oh to be 20 and crazy again. Again? I was 20 once, but I don’t think I was crazy. I’m proof that youth is wasted on the young as well as at least 50 other old people cliches.