Tag: shaving

Random Wednesday Evening Thoughts

Here are a few of the random things going through my pea brain on this Wednesday evening.

  • I haven’t shaved in nine days. If I don’t shave tomorrow you will hear me screaming from hundreds if not thousands of miles away as I tear the flesh from my face because I can’t stand the itch anymore.
  • What is it about that cats that makes them go from sitting calmly on the chair with each other one second to savagely trying to maul each other the next second? Is it me? Did I do something to cause the armageddon? The cat-mageddon if you will?
  • I really hope that Washington, DC gets hit with a massive, catastrophic blizzard on Monday (January 20th). Not the whole city, just the national mall. Really, just one end of the national mall. The end with the capital building. Like, a strategically placed blizzard. Yeah, that would be nice.
  • March 14th is going to be a big musical day for me. There’s a new album by Envy of None coming out that day. There’s only one member of Rush releasing music these days, Alex Lifeson, and Envy of None is his new band. Rush, of course, being one of two bands that, musically speaking, drastically turned my musical world upside down. The other band that, musically speaking, drastically turned my musical world upside down? Throwing Muses. Guess what? Throwing Muses is also releasing a new album on March 14th. Holy Shit Snacks!

Rest in Peace, Razor

I’m a nerd. I am an extra nerdy nerd when it comes to shaving. My father never used shaving cream from a can or a bottle. He used a brush with shaving soap in a mug. Old school… is that the proper term? I started out with an electric razor but lost it somewhere and had to borrow his mug/soap/brush kit once and ever since then I have been a mug/soap/brush user too. Maybe the best way to describe it is a mug/soap/brush snob. Yeah, that works.

Years ago… I can’t remember when… 2008? 2010? Jen and I were on a weekend getaway in Manhattan and we stumbled across this super fancy, high end, shaving supply store. We went in because Jen wanted to feed my shaving snobbery because she loves me. We left with this super fancy brush and a super fancy razor handle and a groovy stand that held them both. The razor handle just used Gillette Mach 3 blades, which I was using at the time anyway. The last time I changed the blade the connection piece of the handle broke. I managed to piece it back together but I couldn’t take the blade off anymore. Today I needed a shave… badly… and I also needed a new blade. I tried to figure out how to get the blade off so I could change it, but as I feared the whole thing is broken in such a way that I cannot fix it anymore.

I’ve been a shaving snob with this snooty razor for all of these years. 10 years? 12 years? Something like that. I just ordered a less fancy, less snobby, but still kinda snobby new Mach 3 razor handle online. I am sad. Like… why am I sad? Because I am a snob, and also because Jen and I bought that razor together on a really great weekend trip to New York and that made it extra special.

The new razor is going to be fine. I think it will fit on my snooty, snobby razor and brush stand. It’ll be fine. It won’t, however, be the same. I am a sad snooty snob.

Know What I Hate?

Know what I hate?

I hate it when you get a zit on your face that is so big (how big is it?) that you sincerely feel concerned that you might be growing a second head.

I hate that, but that’s not what I am talking about here.

I hate it when that self aware head sized zit comes in a day after you hit your “damn, I gotta shave” point. The zit is protected by a barrier of face fur and the idea of shaving it brings to mind gallons of blood spilled into your bathroom sink.

I hate that, but that’s not what I am talking about here.

I hate it when you still shave, despite the new brain growing on your neck and you think you did a good job shaving round the no-fly zone but a half hour later you feel an itch and realize that you missed a circle around the zit that has a radius of about half an inch and now you feel like you must look like some sort of mutant and have to go back to the bathroom and carefully dry shave around the zit in order to make yourself feel more human.

I hate that.

At least it’s Friday.

Bloody Nostalgia

How’s that for a provocative title?

Get ready to be let down.

It’s funny what stays with you.

I had acne when I was in high school so out of fear of cutting my face to ribbons I bought an electric razor. I did know how to shave for real though. My father taught me how. I don’t remember anything he said to me that day, but I clearly remember that my Uncle Johnny (Dad’s brother) was there and he made one shaving suggestion. He said to be careful when you shave above your lip because if you cut yourself right under your nose you will bleed like crazy and it just won’t stop.

Like I said, I don’t know why I remember that comment from my uncle so clearly, but guess what I thought of this morning while shaving… just as I cut myself under my nose.

Gore, babie. Uncle Johnny called it.